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I hate my mom with a burning passion. I think the way she parented me was wrong, she's extremely self absorbed, she doesn't care unless it's her way, and she doesn't clean herself up she smell gross, dresses gross ect.
She may have psychological issues. It might be too hard for her to express her own feelings to you with the way she is now. She may need help and she also needs you to understand her.
It's not uncommon for adolescents to have such feelings. It's also not uncommon for them to have to deal with serious emotional issues if the parent does indeed die.
Perhaps your mother has serious psychological issues and should never have become a parent. Whether or not that's true, you still have to deal with the reality of being her child.
It's also possible that, as you grow up, you'll be able to look at her in a more detached way and see that she's just another human being, doing the best she can with the hand life has dealt her.
It can be very difficult to live with someone who is truly self-absorbed. Check out websites about living with narcissistic mothers and see if they resonate with you. There is information available on the internet on how children can deal with such parents and heal the damage they cause.
If your mother doesn't seem to fit the criteria for narcissism, consider whether it might be that you're going through a difficult period of growing up. Your question reads like it was posted by a teen. If that's true, then know you aren't the first teenager to hate their parents. Usually, increased emotional maturity and greater understanding of the world changes those views into something more positive.
You can't control what your mother says, how she dresses or her personal hygiene. You do have control over how you choose to respond to those things, what you pay attention to and what you ignore.
lf she really was a shitty mom and the opposite of responsible, warm and loving then yeah its normal to feel that way.. but you should be the bigger and more evolved person and try not to hate her that much.. were all just prisoners of the brain and your mom definitely has mental issues coz of genetic predispositon, her childhood and other factors..just focus on yourself and self improvement while your young and not end up like her selfish ass.
It's your mom. Her death would affect you one way or the other, I'm sure. Even if you don't think that now. I hope you two can make peace some day.