That i don't have that motherly bond.

I have hung out with a single mother in your situation before. She has a special needs son who is 9 I think, and a daughter who is perfectly normal that is a couple years younger than him. The little girl doesn't get half the attention that the boy does, and the mother is horribly stressed having them. Being with them at a pizza putt for one night even stressed me out because the boy is more than a handful. I don't know how she does it without strangling the boy to be honest. So I feel for you, I really do. Don't look down on yourself for not being so attached to them, with all the stress you have I don't blame you for nor being able to get attached. Maybe look for places or programs in your area that help out with special needs kids that way they can take him off of your hands and relieve some of that stress every now and then.

I understand. Just never take it out on your children they need your unconditional love. It's not their fault even more than the situation you are put in. Think about how they feel. Trying to have a good temper and positive outlook will make the world of difference in the end. They need you. :)

It seems like you essentially have two two-year-olds, which is the worst age for kids if I understand. When the literal two-year-old gets older, hopefully when he's a bit older, you'll start to feel more of a bond as you get to know him.

I'm not sure if your is the US. If you are, see if there is a local Easter Seals group. They provide financial support as well as home and respite care for handicapped children and adults for free. Best of luck to you.

Try and find some support groups or respite. You need to look after yourself too. Sometimes you can get people to give you respite while u rest or shop or do something else you enjoy. Some places volunteer so it doesn't have to be expensive. I don't know where you live but that is available here in Australia so I really hope you have access to some aswell where ever you are. Never take it out on your son but your not alone and I wish you the best in finding some help and peace
Good luck

It sounds like you're at the end of your tether. There may not be much any of us can do to be of genuine help, but I'm sure there are a number of us who begin to understand.

And, however bad things get, at least you're not americanhoney.

we have programs here where foster families look after your special needs child for a day or even a weekend to give the parent/s a break so i can only assume you would have that too. what about your parents, could they sit for you once a month to give you time off?
i dont have children but i know people who do and even though they are all able kids, they dont get enough attention so i applaud you for having the patience to look after your son but like you said, your younger son doesnt get the attention that he needs and the father is a selfish prick for not helping more. there are probably support groups in your area too. or even just pay a babysitter for a few hours to look after your kids so you can have some time off.

You have a very stressful situation here and I feel for you. There are a lot of day programs for developmentally disabled persons that might really help you out to give you a little more you time. Check in you area for these types of programs. My mother had 2 children, myself and a son who was born 2 1/2 months premature. He is totally blind and has been since birth. He is going to be 33 this year but his mental state will never pass the equivilancy of a 12 year old. My mother never had a bond between her and my brother she thinks it is because of his disablities. Some disabled persons are harder to have bonds with. You really need to find a support group if you can, you will have way more support that way.

I could only imagine what you go through momma:(
I have a toddler, and at times.., I feel so overwhelmed. Stay strong, your kids need you. And don't listen to these clueless pricks. Only a mother could understand how this feels.

You can get help you know, why struggle by yourself when there are people who want to help?

Would you like your "retarded" kid to be taken away from you? I don't think so.

I understand that taking care of a special-needs kid can be very stressful. I don't see anything wrong in talking or complaining about it. As 8Serene8 said try to get help from programs or organizations in your area.

Finally, all respect and hats off to you for your patience and for taking care of your disabled kid.