That i don't feel bad about killing someone?
The cops ruled it as self defense but he wasn't fighting back when I shoved the knife as hard as I could into his chest and he wasn't fighting back while he laid there motionless as I kicked and kicked and kicked. All I felt was relief and maybe freedom?
after-words I was ordered to attend counseling to cope with everything and the first thing she said was "it's okay to feel guilty and even sad about killing him, it doesn't make what he put you through less wrong." I only nodded and only felt guilty for not feeling guilty? sometimes I wonder if I have this evil in me that would kill someone again..