That i am bi for mexican best friend and cuck for ex?

Alright so first off i was married for two years. I was at a real low point when i got married as i had nbeen in a couple accidents one of them being a fist fight i lost big time. I loved her and knew she did drugs but didnt know how bad or even the the type that i eventually discovered. Two weeks before our wedding she left me. She thought i was cheating but i wasnt so she cheated on me with her babies dad which was a black man with a huge cock. I didnt know for sure but i thought her pussy tasted delicious when i ate it. Then i fucked her and it was loose as hell.. It was perfect for me and the state i was in. I broke completely. I dreamed of her all the time with this guy but they both denied it. Since then she eventually told me and i asked her for all the details. Since then she was doing a lot of drugs and cheated on me with various people. Black dudes were my favorite because they tasted so good. Soooo good. But anyway now I've been telling my friend about everything and he got wood. It took quite a bit of convincing but one night we went into his backyard i got on my knees pulled his dick out and went to town. He is my best friend and i was so happy to service him. Its a secret and i love him so much. Hes married so hes so hesitant. Also it took a lot of alcohol and blow to get him to do it. So he didnt stay hard very long. It was a bummer. How do i get him to do it sober.
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How do i get him to let me suck his dick sober? I just want his cum to know i can please him. I want to please him and show him I worship his cock so well. He said if there was a girl there but the only girl ik is my ex wife. I really dont want to be around her if shes not sober... He asked me about fucking me once before i blew him. He has this gorgeously uncut cock and I cant believe all of this has happened to my life as i recently stopped drinking. I thought i would stop having these thoughts if i was sober but ive been sober for a year and still the thought of sucking a big black dick makes me so hard. I end up at pornhub for a night full of ass play and shameful masterbation... Ive never cum like i do for that tho... Idk if I should cum for my friend to watch and maybe then he will be excited? Idk any advice is appreciated