Terrible friends
I left school a few years ago and dropped contact with probably 95%% of the people I knew. I remained friends with only a very small handful of people, three or four. Our relationship had been pretty good, we got along and had fun together, but as my self-esteem issues got worse, things changed. Things got really political between all of us, and there was always backtalking and scheming. We were all insecure, but I was the weakest. I became the lightning rod for everyone's lashing out.
I couldn't defend myself very well. At my worst I was like William H. Macy's character in Boogie Nights, just a complete pushover. And there was also this thing between us...
Well, there was some sexual experimentation going on, but we were all rabid homophobes. It was very strange. I'm bisexual, but I was in denial about my sexuality at the time, so my friends would get horny and start rubbing up on me, or flirting or whatever. Then when they came to their senses they would gaybash the hell out of me. I was always being called a fag or a queer, but i was afraid to call them on their hypocrisy. They would tell the girls I liked I was secretly gay, so I couldn't have good relationships with the opposite sex either.
It went on for like two years, 'til I was almost ready to kill myself. Instead, I just said f**k it, and cut myself off from the world completely. I have no friends at all now, no social life. I'm afraid of people. I won't even go to the grocery store or the barber shop because I feel so inferior to everyone I see. I have been working very hard to improve myself in my isolation, and have come a long, long way. But I'm still cut off from the world. My life still sucks, and I feel I've missed out on so much.