Suicide...

Life is getting harder by the minute.... I don't know where else to turn... I can't talk to anybody without hearing the cliche's "he's a piece of shit" or "don't be depressed be glad that hes gone" or the infamous "you'll get over it" I've been with this guy for 3 years (dylan hockenjos) and when we first started going out he was nothing but sweet to me but as time went on he started ignoring me more and just not caring to the point where he would ignore me for anything and I would argue with him I would tell him please speak to me more please don't ignore me for things like video games and that drove him away because he liked this video games and if he could spend more time playing them that would make him more happy than talking to me ever would and that's what really hurt I would try to do anything with him but he wanted to stay on Discord and chat with his friends more and one time I called him to have a conversation with him and he hung up with me to talk to his friends and play video games online I tried to call him back but he had blocked me so I called this mother asking if she could connect me to him and she just threatened me with the police because he had told a bunch of lies on me he told her that he didn't love me anymore and that I stole his credit card information and that I said that I wish she would die and stuff like that so she did end up getting the police involved because I guess she was at her Tipping Point with me when I didn't really do anything to her so she did call the police and she spoke on her son's behalf because he still lived with her (he's only in college) if he didn't do exactly what she said no matter how ridiculous or how immoral she would just kick him out and he wouldn't have a place to stay so long story short the police got my things from him and told him not to contact me anymore and that really hurts because you know I've been with this guy for 3 years I still love him to death and I'll Never Love another person like I have him no matter how much of a jerk he was to me I still love him to death and picturing him with another girl makes me want to commit suicide he did have a history of talking to girls behind my back nothing flirtatious he just liked to talk to a lot of girls and that made me insecure and then he would complain about me being insecure but I couldn't help it... he hasn't contacted me in 6 days and now I'm on the brink of suicide I don't know how the rest of this month is going to play out when I was with him I had lots of ambition and goals now that I don't have him I have zero ambition and zero goals and I can't keep him off my mind from the moment I wake up, when I go to bed he's all I think about literally and it's eating me alive because I still love him and I don't want to be without him most of the time he doesn't wanna lose me either you would either beg for me to come back or convice me not to but he's not now I don't think I can live like this anymore he was my fiance too.... We were going to get married in May...i stare out my window and at my phone hoping I'll get something from him anything from him but i never do.... ( sorry about the punctuation also) :'( i won't call the suicide hotline and no i won't move on. im scared to commit suicide i don't want to die but i feel like there is no use without him and the idea gets prettier every day I miss him so much we usually talk to each other every single day not skipping a day for years this is the longest I've gone without him...