Straight crush, what to do?

37 Comments

This is long, sorry, but I just need to post this as there is no one I can tell..

I'm a dude, he's a dude, and I love him. He's straight and dating a girl who used to work with us, so she's (or was) my friend too. We all used to work together for over an year before this mess.
I haven't come out to them, but this guy I love, V, and I have a bromance going on since forever. All our friends tease us as being together, and we are always flirting with each other. His girlfriend doubts my sexuality and gets super jealous when V and I are alone.
A month ago, V texted me that he is really fed up of his girlfriend after they had a fight. We o longer work together. He asked for my advice on what to do, and I said there is no point being in a relationship that isn't working.
V: Yes, I will break up with her soon.
I: ok..
V: What do you think about her?
I: Honestly man, I don't like her. She's too controlling. You can do better.
V: I always got the feeling you are not happy with me dating her.
I: I just want what's best for you bro
The next week they seemed to have stopped talking. I stayed out of it. Then V started ignoring me , which was very unusual-he usually always texted or called me before I did. I thought maybe they broke up, and he needs some time, so I stayed away.
Last week, his girlfriend left a Whatsapp group we were part of, and put her status as "I hope you appreciate the second chance", which was directed at V.
I confronted V, and he said that she read my conversation with him when he left her phone with her, and gort very pissed at both of us. Now she wants nothing to do with me and has given V a second chance. I asked him if he was mad at me, he said yes, because I told him to break up with the girl he loves when he was angry at her. He says he is not dwelling on it, though, but he has been distant since. I messed up, big time. But I really love this man.

P.S. He's getting her name tattooed. Which bothers me to no end. And I know it feels like I'm just jealous, but this girl is a gold digger, no good for him .

Tell him you love him 7
Stay friends with him, but don't say anything 9
Tell him his girlfriend is no good 7
Other 1
Forget him 10
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Comments ( 37 )
  • Maybeoneday
    10 years ago

    I don't think you're jealous, I think you just really love and want what's best for your friend. I know you may not support your friends decision but if you love him you'll let him decide whats best for him.

    You didn't mess up, you shouldn't be down on yourself about this, just give it time and things will go back to normal. In the future stay out of the relationship problems, and if she's really a crummy person he'll see that and break up.

    Have you come out to anyone or is he the only guy you feel this way about? If not, maybe you could try to talk to him or people you're close with and figure out what you really want, we can't always be with the person we love, it sucks, but at least he still will be in your life.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I was out to everyone at my college, buy went back in the closet when I began work because I didn't wanna go through that stress again. Thanks for your advice, it helps. I have just been so depressed lately, and that's not the kind of man I usually am.

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      • Maybeoneday
        10 years ago

        It won't stay like this forever. You'll be back to yourself and eventually all of this will be in the past.
        I hope everything works out for you and your friend.

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      • peterr
        10 years ago

        If you ever met me you would get over him in a minute. Nice 7 inch cut cock too!

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      • peterr
        10 years ago

        During the interim you could suck me off and we could hang out! I already like you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You're acting like a selfish disgusting and dishonest person and you should be ashamed of yourself.

    Not only are you intentionally being dishonest with your 'friend' but you are also intentionally trying to ruin his relationship so you can try to jump on him.

    STOP IT fool.
    Grow up and find a gay dude to jump on.

    Seriously I'm a straight guy but because I'm good looking gay dudes are often trying to get on me or 'be my friend' while trying to get their gay on.

    STOP IT.

    Grow up and tell your 'friend' that you're gay for him and you're sorry you've been trying to break them up. If he's a straight guy most guys would bail on you because it's creepy. If he's a straight guy that's exceptionally moral and intelligent he may tell you that's flattering but he's not gay so you gotta respect that or later to you.

    There is a tiny possibility he's bi or gay interested but probably not as he's with his chick who OWNS A VAGINA and not hanging with you anymore.

    His girlfriend is right for not liking you being around him, you're being a creeper.

    Why do you gays hide in the closet so much?
    You're screwing up his life, his girl's life, and your life.

    GROW UP AND ADMIT TO THE WORLD YOU'RE GAY THEN FIND A GAY DUDE WHO LIKES YOU.

    Damn!

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    • nkwacky
      10 years ago

      You're a jerk, dude

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        A jerk?

        No. A jerk is someone that is intentionally misleading another person while trying to destroy their relationship.

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      You are a bit harsh, you CUNT!

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        You feel that way peterr cause you're gay and you do the same shit.

        Pretend to be a guys buddy but then secretly try to get your fag on while breaking up his relationship with his gf.

        That's evil.

        I'd be nice if you gays could FINALLY come out of the closet letting everyone know who you really are.

        Stop betraying people.

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        • peterr
          10 years ago

          That is not true at all.

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            Which part?

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            • peterr
              10 years ago

              I let guys suck me off but I have to like their company. But fg anything I am bi because 98 percent of my interactions are with women. Wish you could say the same and perhaps with less animosity.
              thank you for your input, offbase as it is. You got a reply except from out and out queers who will suck anything is something for the likes of you.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Maybe it's because there's so many morons in life that ruin society for the rest of us.

        Anyway, often times the best route is the direct route.

        This gay dude needs to grow up and get out of his closet and stop misleading others and trying to ruin their lives.

        I suppose I'm also a little bit upset cause I've had fags try this shit on me too.

        They try seducing me and making my girl jealous or get upset, etc.

        I always tell them to stop and go fag out elsewhere cause I'm not gay but they often keep persisting. Like at friends parties, barbeques, etc.

        If someone doesn't want what you want fucking respect it bizzaro.

        Damn.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    These are the early stages of Psycho Bitch!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Excuse me?

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        You heard me... That fish market of her's is full of mercury poison. Your friend's eating her sushi cause he's mentally weak and she's a manipulative bitch! If he gets that stupid tattoo he'll be sorry soon enough.

        You're only hurting yourself with this crush of your's.

        My main question to you is why are you holding a torch for someone who is not only straight and unavailable but clearly surrounded by toxic drama? This whole mess is one big distraction from the pink elephant in the room which is you and your sexuality. Living life in that cold dark closet ain't gonna help you realize your dreams. You don't have to come out to every damn body but be honest with yourself and try to find some people you can be out with. You could find happiness and you just might meet that special someone. Take it from an old hag who's seen plenty.

        As for your friend, say a prayer for him and let it go.

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        • SkullsNRoses
          10 years ago

          Couldn't have said it better myself.

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            Thanks.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Why are you faggots always crushing on straight guys?

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Exactly.

      I'm tired of getting hit on by fags.

      Stop trying to pretend to be a dude's friend and then have your hidden agenda trying to seduce him.

      It's disgusting and dishonest.

      You gays need to clearly identify yourselves as you being gay and you want to have sex.

      I've got nothing against gay people but stop being dishonest about your intentions.

      GROW UP.

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    • SkullsNRoses
      10 years ago

      Have you ever used your narrow bigoted to consider the fact that people can't chose who they are attracted to?

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    • funkedup
      10 years ago

      You're a dick, man. Gay dudes like dudes. Sometimes the dudes are straight dudes, mostly they're other gay dudes...you ever been attracted to a lesbian? How about a girl that isn't interested in you?

      If this is a real problem for you then stop acting like you want a dick in your ass all the time...

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      • nkwacky
        10 years ago

        Well said, mate

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      What, do you feel threatened, a little insecure, maybe you are a bit fruity your-fucking-self! ROFL at you...

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  • alijian120117
    7 years ago

    you can put up a beautiful status for him or her,
    Yup you can get every type of heart touching messages, status from here http://whatsappquotesstatus.net/whatsapp-status-in-hindi/ , you will find so amazing and user friendly here , so easily you can find status and messages, there is also a great collection of both Hindi and English language.

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  • funkedup
    10 years ago

    The key information you need is whether this guy is gay.

    The bold move would be to come out to him and eventually see what he thinks about it, then you can move forward with the info you need. Your female friend will be pissed for sure, but if the guy is gay, then she'll eventually come around, and if he's not, then you can stay on the friendship tip and find yourself a viable option. If you can't stomach that, then just leave it behind. You little triad will just end up spiraling into a storm of shit...

    I don't think you owe anyone an explanation about your sexuality, but don't kid yourself, these two are probably already well aware that you are gay, and they probably don't care. Just be upfront about what you want in life (to the extent of your comfort, of course.) Good luck.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks man, this is the best piece of advice I've received on this post.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    You should respect his relationship.
    I understand that he and his girlfriend are mad at you for trying to ruin their relationship.
    You need to decide if you are willing to let him go as a potential boyfriend and start to work at getting his trust back, I'd start that by telling him the truth that would explain to him why you have been acting this way.

    Taken men/women are off limits and even IF he had cheated on her for you would that really had been a man you'd want to be together with?
    Once a cheater, always a cheater and I'd NEVER trust someone whom I know had done that in a previous relationship.

    If you don't think that you can accept this and see him as a friend only, it's probably time to let him go.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you for your opinions.. I'm glad you replied honestly without any bias. Just a few clarifications though,
      I didn't try to ruin their relationship. He's the one who brought up the topic of breakup and I just supported him.
      As for the cheating thing, I would never be with him sexually if he were seeing anyone. I do love him but I can stay just friends and bury my feelings. It's the friends part that I want to get back because I miss hanging with him, even though it pains me to see him with someone else. And I don't want him to hate me.

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        Well, honestly from what I read when you posted yours and his conversation you DID came across as a BIT too eager to get them to break up. Myself I have advised friends of mine to break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends but I've been very cautious to how and when I say it.

        I understand!
        If you feel as if you can handle him being with his girlfriend and sometimes hanging out with them too I say go for it. If you are that good of a friends that you seem to give him credit for you are worthy of a second chance.

        Your issue now is that his girlfriend is mad at you and if your friend values his relationship it isn't strange that he's a bit distanced towards you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Hmm.. This feels so messed up! I guess I have to live with the residue of my actions and choices. I just wish I had never had that conversation with him.

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          • (s)aint
            10 years ago

            I mean. If my Boyfriend had felt uncomfortable with one of my friends that encouraged me to break up with him I'd totally see why he didn't approve of our future friendship :/

            You can't exactly change the past but you CAN apologize to him AND to her as well, you can contact her through Facebook/myspace?
            You only need to put something simple as "Sorry for the way i acted ..."

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              I did, actually. Yesterday I just asked her "what's up?" on whatsapp to get the conversation starting as her birthday is coming up. She replied, then I apologized and asked if she was still upset. She replied 'No'. Then I asked her if she wanted to hang out today (I was friends with her before they started dating). But she blew me off . Not that I blame her for being mad, but I wanna sort this out.
              P.S. I thought you were a guy.

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  • dybex
    10 years ago

    Forget the guy. His girlfriend hates you now.

    Let this be a lesson to everyone. Always be extra careful with what you write in texts, and emails. Be diplomatic at all times. Girls have no respect for other peoples' privacy. Checking pockets, internet histories, emails and phone texts is second nature to them.

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    • nkwacky
      10 years ago

      "Girls have no respect for other people's privacy"

      You nailed it bro.

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