Step kids are making me miserable

I am a mom of 5 kids, one is older and doesn't live and home and the other 4 are 16 to 18. I have three step children, one is 16 year old girl, second is 10 year old boy both live with us full time and the last is 3 years old and lives with us 50 percent of the time. I absolutely adore and love their father and can't imagine life without him. However the 16 year old and 10 year old are making me miserable! They have no respect and don't listen, they both are compulsive liars (which their father is aware)they are rude and extremely loud (sometimes I can hear the 16 year old down the street when she is inside the house) they are always grounded because of something they have done (by their father, not me) the 16 year old is always making sexual jokes about me and my children have told her countless times it's not funny. The 16 year old has to be the spotlight and will go to ANY length to make sure she has it. Recently someone keeps going through our bedroom and messing up my stuff, going through my stuff and planting pictures of his ex wife (not their mom) Recently it got really bad, one day the 16 year old girl said she was going to call CPS on me in front of teachers to my kids, the reason being was because she had to sit in the back seat going home. Granted nothing would come of this it still is insane that she said it. The next day I got in the car to take them to school and the 16 year old had put on an over abundance of Body spray knowing that I am deathly allergic. She knows exactly what happens to me. Needleases to say i couldn't take them to school and it wasn't a good day for me. We had to put a lock on the door so she couldn't get in our room and her dad said we will just make sure we watch her and won't let her cook. So last night I'm eating and the food had a ton of spices which I cannot tolerate. After one bite I asked why there is so much in the food and was told that the 16 year old daughter made it. I have a hard time believing that was not intentional. Also what happen to not letting her cook. I understand this is his daughter but what about my safety. Is this normal? Please give me your input.

Thank you

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Based on 20 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    oh peoples they kill me with big walls of text i wish there was such a thing as autoparagraph.

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  • riffraffy

    Your household sounds like hell. A survivable one, however. I refer any parent to the book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. Tons of examples regarding children in it. Make friends out of these stepchildren and everyone's life will improve.

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    • Pleasehelpmomof5

      Thank you, I will pick up the book.

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      • riffraffy

        Make sure to get back to me in a few weeks. If the book helps you half as much as it did me, then I think you're in good shape!

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        • Pleasehelpmomof5

          Who's the author? There a few different ones out there.

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          • riffraffy

            Dale Carnegie

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            • Pleasehelpmomof5

              Thank you

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  • Ass_gas

    She hates you. You stole her father from her. You will never be forgiven. She thinks you belong in hell. She is telling you to get out of her world.

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    • Pleasehelpmomof5

      Agreed but do you think her behavior is normal with trying to harm me?

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      • Ass_gas

        It is only normal in her twisted mind. Send her away to live with her mother. She is afraid to say that is what she wants.

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        • Pleasehelpmomof5

          Sadly her mother wants nothing to do with her.

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  • Sara0303

    You're lucky to find someone having five kids. I have no kids, but l hated my ex bf's kids

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  • Babyguh

    She doesn't hate you, she hates her father she just is acting on it towards you because she wants to hurt her dad, and cause turmoils between you and your husband. I've experienced this too but what I did to deal with it was make it know I'm aware of the fact I know what he was trying to do and it wouldn't work. I even went an extra mile and went his other siblings to their moms for the weekend except him and his father and I spent time together without the youngest one and it actually seemed to help. He actually comes to me a lot of the times before he comes to his dad and talks with m about stuff because I showed him I trust him and I always let him know when he's doing well and reward his good behavior....I guess you can say I reprogrammed him

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