Sometimes i wish i had empathy

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9 Comments

Before people start commenting on what empathy means I will give definitions of the different types of empathy.

Cognitive Empathy - I understand that you are sad.
Affective Empathy - I am sad that you are sad.
Sympathetic Empathy - I wish you weren't sad.

I have a lot of trouble with the first 2 but I seem to have intact sympathy because I have been sad when people who are close to me have died and I normally wish good things for people. I just don't understand or relate to most of peoples problems.

I am often baffled why people are so emotionally vulnerable and the rest of society seems so insane to me because of how unstable people can be.

At the same time I often think I'm missing out on something. I see others having bonds with each other and talking about concepts that seem delusional to me. When people talk to me about their feelings and how they experience things I often do not comprehend what they are talking about.

Maybe empathy is nothing more than relating to something. You cannot empathize with something that you haven't experienced. It seems people often don't empathize with me either because they do not understand how I perceive things. I don't relate to humans any more than I do any other animal but I cannot help but to be very curious what this experience is like for someone else.

-Bugs

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85% Normal
Based on 20 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    As far as I know I'm only good with cognitive.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    9 years ago

    I can't seem to feel sympathy or empathy for others. When someone I don't know dies, like a celebrity, a stranger that got hit by a car, or a bunch of people dying in a tragedy, I just don't care. I honestly can't understand why others would feel sad about people they have never met. I often find myself faking the emotions and pretending to care about their sadness to not piss anyone off.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I think it's normal to not be effected by people you don't know.

      When my close friend died and my uncle died it effected me a lot, but I was also very close to them my whole life and they were a couple of favorite people for me.

      When I read about people I don't know I think, oh that's no good, but my day is unaffected.

      I do care a lot about human rights and talk about political issues a lot because I do wish for better things in this world, but they don't effect me the way I am effected by someone I have regular interaction with.

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  • charli.m
    9 years ago

    Cognitive and sympathetic empathy I'm good with. Affective empathy, it really depends on the person. If it's someone I care about, I'm likely to be sad that they're sad. If it's someone I dont know so well but am with at the time, then I will more than likely feel some degree of it. If I'm totally removed from the situation, I can understand it and wish it was different for the person affected, but it doesn't have an effect on me. Unless it's a situation I can relate to on a very personal level.

    There's a really good quote in John Elder Robison's book "Look me in the eye" that perfectly explains his thought processes regarding empathy (he's an Aspie). I should find it and post it up. I love it cos it totally makes sense.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I think most people will prefer people they know. I always have a more helpful response towards someone if I know them and they are someone who shares. Sharing with people makes sense because it is good to be on good terms with people you know. I do not understand why some people choose to burn all their bridges.

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  • Johnnytherat
    9 years ago

    Affective Empathy - I am sad that you are sad. i do not feel this

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  • NormalIsAsNormalDoes
    9 years ago

    This isn't meant to be an insult, but you may be a psychopath. They make up about 1% of our population. It doesn't mean you are a murderer or something. Perhaps some research would interest you if you don't already know some or a lot about them.

    Here's a start: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUsGDVOCLVQ

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    • charli.m
      9 years ago

      He's not a psychopath. He's an Aspie. Difficulties with sympathy and empathy are common Aspergian traits.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      It doesn't seem I'm psychopathic but I have gotten that a lot from people. I do care about others but don't need anything from them. Sometimes people say I don't care but I do in a different way. I would imagine if I didn't that I wouldn't be motivated to solve problems.

      I watched the video and I would say in the train situation I would pick whoever I favored but it's actually impossible to know what you will do until it happens so nobody can answer hypothetical questions.

      Today I was driving in the rain and I saw some frogs hopping across the road and I stopped to let them get to the pond and continued to drive slow because I favored the frogs to the people behind me. I really didn't give a fuck about holding up the traffic.

      I've been diagnosed with quite a few other things such as aspergers, adhd and either schizoaffective or schizotypal personality depending on the report. I was tested for antisocial pd at one point but I'm not manipulative and make good moral decisions although I disagree with some of societies moral opinions. I did score above average traits on the mmpi but wasn't diagnosed.

      I do think many people are predispositioned to have psychopathic traits but most the ones who destroy and cause problems have learned to hate. I don't think emotion is needed to make good moral choice.

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