So.. maybe it isn't me. iin?

8 Comments

I've been struggling lately with some internal issues. My question here is, is it normal for your boyfriend to not show sympathy or understanding? I feel so alone. It's mainly been so hard for me because it's been building over time. (Been together over a year now.) For instance this morning, we both awoke and he though I was laying very close next to him and rudely said "Scoot over!" (This happened yesterday morning, except BOTH time I was on the opposite side if my bed, with at least 1ft between us.) Then I asked what was wrong as he shortly left thereafter and said "You didn't move over when I asked". And almost every situation where I've been upset (Tried to tell him I wasn't even touching him when I was wrongfully bitched at. I'm tired of being treated like poo every morning because he "isn't a morning person" and disregards my feelings.)

So I let it go, later he asked if I was mad. I just said I didn't appreciate the way he spoke to me sometimes. In a very subtle and polite manor. Then the response I get it is "Shit we just woke up okay?!" and some other rude words and storms off.

This is usually how our arguements play out. I get upset or offended by something he says towards me that comes off rude, and when I try to talk to him he gets more angry and makes me feel like I did something wrong. Or I shouldn't be upset. Oppressed from my feelings.

It feels like I'm dealing with a self-absorbed teenager. Obviously being with someone who makes you feel this way isn't recommended. But he does make me happy, and isn't ALWAYS that way. Just it's getting more frequent, and I'm getting more messed up with all emotional garbage piling on top of each other.

ANY advice? Or anyone else been through this? He's 25 so saying he need to grow out of it won't help. FYI.

Is it me being too emotional, or does he lack the emotion for me? I can't seem to tell the difference anymore. I always assumed it was me, but lately I've been feeling different.

It's you. 1
It's him. 12
I don't give a flying rats ass. 4
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Comments ( 8 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    People go through times in their lives where they just don't sit right anymore. My boyfriend did this to. I think it has something to do with the change in lifestyle. Learning how to live with other people in your life and not alone. I had to learn it once to. What I did with my boyfriend was talk to him. I sat down calmly and said that he was being mean to me and I didn't deserve it. I asked what was causing it. He said he didn't know, so I asked if we could work on cooling it down a bit. He's just on his man period, tell him he's being an ass, cause he probably doesn't realize he's doing it. He WILL fight you for trying to talk to him, but you need ot point at what he's doing and tell him he really needs to listen.

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    • Antir0b0t
      11 years ago

      I did finally sit down and confront him calmly and respectfully. He was surprised to know that his behavior was pushing me away unintentionally. But things should get better, he's going to work on it. Thank you for the advice it was just the answer I needed!

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      • ccjigsaw
        11 years ago

        I'm glad to hear it! I remember posting a story just like yours last year :) Keep in mind, he'll probably keep doing it for a while, and will likely need to be reminded. It just takes time.

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        • Antir0b0t
          11 years ago

          Right, makes sense. I'm trying to be optimistic and have patience. No relationship is perfect and they all take compromise and effective communication. Sometimes I forget that. :)

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    This morning I woke up cranky and called my husband annoying under my breath. (He stole the blankets and was laying on top of them, not under.) He got all hurt. I felt bad because I wasn't really mad at him and I didn't think he was awake. I was just cranky and didn't feel good. We both know better than to let that conversation continue.

    I won't blame you or your boyfriend for the situation. There could be some unspoken grievances you two are not dealing with. A simple solution could be to get a bigger bed. But don't try to resolve the issue when one of you is half asleep. And don't have the conversation when you are angry. Talk about it when you aren't feeling emotional.

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  • Shewhispered
    11 years ago

    Dump him, guys should be fun and jokey :) not grumpy and hurtful.

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  • Antir0b0t
    11 years ago

    Yeah true.. My main problem is when I try to talk to him about things he just doesn't appear to participate or show any amount of concern for my feelings or what he said. Usually he gets upset when I bring things up and he'll
    say he thought that we were over that. For him over us saying sorry and I just feel like that isn't enough. Sometimes I need to talk about shit to feel better. And I'm constantly feeling like I have to deal with all this shit and he's perfectly okay. I know I can be an emotional woman sometimes, that's expected. But lately I've noticed I've been more depressed and feel alone. I feel like we're lacking so much but I'm afraid to talk about it. After all the attempts I've made I feel like it'd just make things worse.. I have no idea anymore. But thank you guys for your input. Maybe if I did take a break on the couch it would help.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    I agree with howaminotmyself. Some people are extra cranky when they're only half conscious. I should know, i'm one of them. My boyfriend gets mad at me a lot for things i say and do in my sleep, things i don't even remember. Like, he'll try to wake me up and my eyes open and i say i'm getting up, but i just lay there and he might bring it up later. I tell him i was asleep, but he doesn't believe me just because my eyes opened.

    The worst time to try to talk to me is when i'm tired and everyone close to me knows that. And i think it's silly when people get mad at me when i'm in a sleepy state of mind.

    You could try just sleeping on the couch every once in a while or something. I love sleeping with my boyfriend, but every once in a while i need some couch time. Sharing a bed every night does get kind of old and it may give him a chance to miss having you next to him.

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