Situation help

24% Normal
22 Comments

Me and my girlfriend recently brake up but we still have contact cause i don't wanna just let things go just like that. But i left her cause i was insecure in my relationship about another girl. I'm not dating any of them because i want to be sure of what i want.
So while we were dating i found out from her daughter 11yr old that she saw her mom's and some of my pics that we sent to each other (nudes) . We are still talking at the moment and we still there for each other to talk but we're not meeting anymore ,just talk and text to stay in touch.
We started to share pics again just cause we missed each other but not looking to get back together . We both decided its just for fun cause we trust each other not to share or show off to no one.
I respect her allot and also her daughter. But today her daughter text me and tell me that she saw that her mom is still sending pics to me and saw mine too.. She's 11. First i see it like this.. Why is she going through her mom's phone ? And why is she reading everything ? Her mom told me that its only between me and her. Her daughter doesn't want me to hurt her mom again cause of the brakeup.
We are adults and don't understand why an 11yr old is going through her mom's phone to see all of this. I feel embarrassed and i feel like her mom is allowing her too much freedom to see all of this. She's 11 but she know's way too much and behave like an 21yr old. The way she talk and behave i feel that her mom is not teaching her well. Every time i tell her mom about to teach her daughter to learn better things it goes through one ear and comes out the other.
They both behave like sister's and i don't understand how some parents don't discipline their kids. What to do in this situation ? Thanks for your help

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24% Normal
Based on 17 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Tealights
    5 years ago

    You already answered your own question, she's treating her daughter like a bestfriend. You can either be there and become the parent that girl needs, or move on.

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      You're right. But i think she needs to teach her daughter better things than allowing her so much to see for an 11yr old girl.

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      • Tealights
        5 years ago

        I understand your discomfort, but telling an irresponsible parent to be better is like asking the sun to be less hot on clear days. Just move on.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    How parents raise their children is up to them. If you have problems with the parenting style of the woman and you find the daughter and her relationship with her mother challenging to deal with, that sounds like a good reason to move on.

    If I were you, what would really concern me about this situation is that there's an eleven year-old girl who is looking at photos of you naked, and now she has contacted you directly. What's going to happen if she tells her friends about the pics, and the story gets passed on until a teacher or some other adult who has a duty of responsibility to refer any suggestion of child sexual abuse or grooming to the police or some other official organisation?

    You may know that the photos weren't intended for the daughter to see, but a suspicious cop or social worker will assume the worst of you, and you'll have to convince them you're innocent. The mother should also be concerned about what could happen to her if the authorities decided to investigate what has been going on.

    Whatever you do, never accept a call from the daughter and never call her. Text messages can be retrieved and read to determine what was said, but if the phone logs simply show that you and the girl spoke on the phone for some time, what was said is a matter of her word against yours. She does appear to be way too worldly-wise for her years, and I wouldn't trust her an inch.

    From one of your responses, it appears you've learned the most important lesson here: Don't send nude pictures of yourself to anyone. You never know who's going to see them, or where they'll end up.

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      You are right. I'm being much more careful now. But i think i should tell the mother about this that the daughter has contacted me just to be safe.

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      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        I agree that the girl's mother should know.

        I suggest you do your best to avoid sounding like you're criticising her for leaving the pics on the phone and allowing her daughter to access them, but rather just letting her know that it did happen.

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  • gavin2885
    5 years ago

    She can raise her kid how she wants. She isn’t raising her right though. There is no reason her kid should be going through her phone messages and what not. There is no reason she should be texting you to let you know any of that. Allowing your children to curse while they talk to you is wrong too. If she wants to have a dirty mouth she can wait till she is grown and living in her own house to be doing that.
    These new age parents allow WAY TOO much. That’s why these kids are doing such stupid crap Landing them in jail and what not.

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      i agree with that

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  • xxLucifer
    5 years ago

    Kids are smarter than you give them credit for and can be much more mature if you let them be. When I was younger younger I didn't have many friends my age. Most of the people I knew were my mom's friends and as such I understood things before most other kids because I was put in those situations. So I don't see a problem with an 11 year old acting like a mature 21 year old. If it's specifically the fact that the 11 year old is seeing your nudes then don't send them to your friend.

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    • Fair_Lucy
      5 years ago

      Keep seeing you around. It's the name.

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      • xxLucifer
        5 years ago

        Yeah, I recently found this site and find answer questions to be enjoyable.

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        • Fair_Lucy
          5 years ago

          Same. It's like those old ask columns, except we do both parts. Nothing on the internet quite like it. (Also helps me feel a bit better about my life in comparison).

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      I get what you're saying but for an 11yr to talk to her mom rude and allowing curse words in the house ? She has to behave grown as a girl but to see all these things and mom doesn't do nothing about it ?
      I think about this girl future, but guess that's not my problem anymore . I still tried to talk to mom about teaching her daughter better , but in a few mins they are like best friends.. So why do i even bother.

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      • xxLucifer
        5 years ago

        That's just the way some people are. In my family we always talk to each other in very joking ways that can come off as rude to others, but at the same time be very respectful to people who aren't family. Also swearing is just words. I personally don't see a problem with a kid swearing as they most likely do it anyway around other kids their age. Just because what you see as bad parenting doesn't mean it's actually bad. Some people would have said I was raised bad, but I was always the mature one in my group of friends growing up.

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  • Fetiza000
    5 years ago

    You're calling someone you broke up with your girlfriend in this, logic.

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      No, we are not dating anymore.

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    What Tealights said.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Smart kid!

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    • redeyez7
      5 years ago

      kinda smart yeah.. but why is a 11yr old watching her mom business checking out dick pics ? she must be really smart for that too right ?

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Nope, she's probably way too nosy. Also these days the average age when children first see pornography is eleven years old. That's not a good thing, but thanks to internet pornography it is now the reality.

        To be completely honest it's never a good idea to trade nudie pics with someone especially if one or both parties happen to have children. Kids snoop, because they are curious. Parents need to keep inappropriate things out of the house rather than trusting that the kids won't find that stuff.

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        • redeyez7
          5 years ago

          She is extremely nosy. She always get yelled at and i told her so many times that she will get in huge trouble one day of she don't stop. Nowadays i get why kids act too grown for their age and there's nothing parents cant control now when its too late.
          i understand to never share pics like that again or it should be deleted right away. I just feel that the parent need to step up and teach these kids better.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Well, it's her kid so she's gonna raise her how she wants.

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