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When you don't have many friends, should you lie, pretend to be someone else and tell people what they want to hear so they will like you or should you stay true to yourself but get rejected?? Why/ why not?
| no | 32 | |
| yes | 5 |
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not."
if they cant accept you for you, they are not people you should want to be around.
FRIENDSHIPS ARE NEVER FORCED.
You will just come off as a phony. By the time we are 18 or so, our personalities are set in stone. You are what you are. Any attempt to change it will just make you seem like a phony. You can make an effort to be nicer and more friendly though. Friendliness goes a long way.
You dont need to change anything about yourself to impress people because in the end those people will leave you, its always best to be the real you, the real you will find true friends. And sometimes people may think you are different compared to them but its cool to be different that makes you unique and awesome.
Stay true to yourself but if you are being mean and selfish than maybe a little change would help. But don't say you like something you don't like. If you do that they won't be true friends
Changing your personality in order to accommodate someone else is the equivalent of customer service. Jobs like that are miserable for most.
Absolutely not. You tell yourself everyday a lie this way. And your own thoughts will adapt to the fake self. It becomes such a mess to untangle. And friendships with this fake self leave you more dissociated bored depressed and LONELY than to be you, and attract only those who seek you.
Of course there are things we all can do like try to be a good listener, think before we speak, be sensitive, dont burden others too much always being negative, be honest etc.
But these I consider in a different category than not being yourself
Oh fuck, everyone voting and commenting here is so full of shit. Nobody here acts differently around different people, lol, bullshit. Yes, you have to watch what you say or do, to varying degrees, in order to maintain relationships. And you have to be engaging or worth being around. Often that means hiding or changing parts of yourself. There's nothing really wrong with that, it just becomes a new part of who you are. I mean, if you're normally inattentive, lazy and boring and you make a concious effort to be friendly, engaging and fun, what's wrong with that? Or if your personality sucks, or you have bad social habits, why not change it/act differently? Or, knowing sometimes you should keep your opinions to yourself. Sticking to 'how you are' and putting everything out there, expecting others to accept you 'warts and all' means you're not willing to introspect or compromise or be polite and nobody really gets anywhere that way. That's not to say you should be totally fake all the time, but just look at the reasons why people don't want to be around you and consider working on that, it's entirely possible that you SHOULD change parts of yourself because maybe you're a jerk or boring or whatever.