Should i text him first after i got mad?

12 Comments

What happened last time which was three days ago, he did something that really pisses me off, he just said too much and I overheard and seriously blew up in my room. I came downstairs to have a peace of mind of what was going on then went back to my room. We were supposed to go out but because that happened on top of something else, I made him wait like a douche and pushover, didn't even bother to text me like "are we going" or "why are you taking long" he just didn't do anything which gets on my nerves too like grow some balls and stand up! I don't want my man to be p*ssy-wipped! So that plus what he said plus what happened earlier that he kept laughing at something I had like I was sick of something and because I joke a lot he thought he could laugh about it since I did make jokes about it but I was done because he passed it to me and started realizing he didn't care since he didn't have it anymore. I got so pissed! like youre so selfish!
So all those things got to me and we did go out and had fun because we did't wanna ruin the night but as soon as it was over it was back and I just got off the car without hugging or kissing him bye and just said thanks for coming w me ha and he looked devastated, I just wanted to kick his ass. So I knew we weren't gonna talk for the week because we both said we were busy but now that the weekend has come, I expected him to text me like he usually does when we argue but this time he hasn't. I wanna text him but last time i did when we fought he left me hanging like a little p*ssy because he was upset like how about talk to me straight up and let me know whats wrong instead of ignoring the situation so that pissed me the eff off even more so I def don't want that to happen again. I am here waiting for his text but of course he has no balls to text me how he feels when I usually let him know whats wrong straight up. I want to text him asking if he is still coming w me to this event on sunday because we planned on it, however, I just don't wanna be left hanging anymore. So should I text him or wait for his text which will be who knows when knowing him. If I do end up texting him and he leaves me hanging, I will leave him because what is the purpose of having a relationship if you're going to ignore each other? What the f*ck, that's why I don't like relationships but I got with him because he makes me happy overall.

Text him first just asking if Sunday's event is still on 6
Text him first & talk about what happened before anything else 12
Wait for him to text for one more week and if no text, then leave him 5
Wait for him to text, he will text back, just be patient 5
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Ono
    12 years ago | pl

    o.0

    Good god.

    Please don't text him again, leave the poor man alone, it sounds like he's suffered enough.

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    • RinTin
      12 years ago

      You mean we've suffered enough. haha I'm kidding I'm kidding. That was some rant though OP. I couldn't really follow because I have a short attention span and I had no idea why you were mad at him in the first place.

      I say just text him back but talk about what happened because you will look psychotic just texting "hey we're still going out Sunday right?" after you brushed him off after your date. You were in the wrong there...Why would you go out and have a good time then all of a sudden shun him? lol. Settle whatever happened earlier before you go out and have fun.

      I honestly would ignore you too you sound scary.

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  • heyitsus
    12 years ago

    Yo little Miss Drama queen! picture this. Your dude is kicked back right now sitting all alone... and he's relaxed and smiling like an idiot.

    Know why?

    Cuz he doesn't have to deal with your high maintenance B.S.

    Keep pulling that diva shit and see how much longer he sticks around.

    It appears you don't like getting your feelings hurt but have no problems stomping on your boyfriends feelings.

    Like I said he's probably smiling and relaxed and all because of "not you"

    Has the pinnacle of communication been reached and its name is texting?? Holy fuck!

    How about this... If you care about this guy, shag your ass over to his place, knock on the door, smile when he opens it and say "Hey I just wanted to talk to you"

    Naw too easy!

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Sooo many women fall into this category!

    You leave him waiting and he fails to text you to hurry you up, here's why .... he didn't care about being late, he didn't want to put you in an even worse mood, he's getting tired of your nonsense! He would be more of a douche to run after you and encourage your bad moods.

    Men are not mind-readers and assume you are being truthful. So when you went out and had a good time he thought you two were ok again. Then you storm off and as he'd let the past go, you've confused him coz he didn't know you were holding a grudge. Now either he's happy to let you get on with your life and be the way you are OR he's waiting on you to get over your little tantrum and call him.

    Men are simple little creatures who just want to have a good time. If you aren't making him happy when you two are together - he will go out and have a laugh with his mates. It's up to you. Either grow up or lose him!

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    Like you said, anger is a powerful emotion and unless you have anger issues too, you don't know how hard it is to accomplish what you're advising me to do. It's hard. It's like this wall and my considerations are standing behind it because the only thing that matters is that wall of anger.
    My way of getting easily annoyed does separate people from me and that's the story of my life. It's different between my mom and my bf because my mom will always be there no matter how far I go off on her because she knows it's all in the moment but when it comes to friends, or just people, I hate phoniness so once I sense it, which today its most of the time the person is being fake, I give them some sort of attitude because I can't be fake myself, so I'm just doing what I'm feeling and I'm feeling turned-off by that fake person. So I lose friends and all that but my bf understands me almost to the core and reading a comment above from someone else also convinced me like it's not worth getting angry if you care about him and I care about him and I never want him to leave me so that comment just reminded me how much I have calmed down in the past in some moments where I've gotten annoyed by him just so it won't take him away from me like it has w/ "friends" or people.
    So yeah, you're right that that wall of anger blocks me from letting people in. I want to tear it down. I also have trust issues so that might also help clarifying things but that plus anger issues equals people ticking me off faster.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      This anger issue shows that you are young and emotional. Try the herbal Kalms tablets to take the edge off it. You really do not want to alienate people you love coz they will only make excuses for you for a certain length of time - then, even they, will be glad to see the back of you.

      I have been with the same man for almost 30 years and if you want my advice, then bottle up your anger for 24 hours. If it is still worth mentioning then tell him or your mom what annoyed you the day before. But, 99% of the time you won't remember what it was and you can all carry on happy.

      My sister believes that she should let off steam coz it makes HER feel better but the verbal abuse and hatred that her husband and children have to suffer is astounding. It is no wonder all her children leave home asap! No-one can understand how her husband is still there.

      We used to debate about who was right or wrong. She said I would make myself ill bottling up my anger but she was the one who took a stroke, had a brain haemorrhage and then developed cancer. Our emotions effect the cells in our bodies so chill out! Life is too short for you to behave in this way. You really must learn to control your behaviour as you are not 2 years old anymore.

      Good luck! Try the Kalms!

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        12 years ago

        I am aware of the negative outcomes from being this way. But the point I am trying to make is that its really really hard to push down that anger. It literally takes over me. So ya I'll try anything to make it go away because like I said, I am aware of what my anger issues can cause therefore you would think I can just chill out like no big deal, but it's not that easy. Bottling it up will only make my attitude worse meaning it'll be more obvious that somethings wrong and I don't want to come off as a b*tch for no reason so I'll just them why I am pissed off. I think it's just knowing how to express your feelings in a more cooperative way, not bottling it up. I shall try anything to escape this bs.

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        • joybird
          12 years ago

          Bottle 'em up and express your feelings the next day!!

          I know it's hard but you haven't committed murder yet so you can control yourself - you are a toddler!

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  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    Okay, genuine advice (had to happen at least once today and you're the lucky millionth customer).

    A lot of people will say that these small things like making him wait or not texting him or whatever else you've done to show him you're angry is playing games. Even people who give their wife of thirty years the silent treatment will say this (completely forgetting that they are doing it themselves).

    When you're angry, the urge is to show you are angry. It's probably normal to feel like you want to handle it the way you have done. But, looking at the situation from the outside, it hasn't really been a success because now neither of you really knows how the other feels.

    Throughout your life, people are going to do things which make you angry. The people you love are no exception but, because you love them, and want to keep on loving them, you have to deal with the anger in a way that isn't destructive.

    I think it's healthy to say "I'm angry with you" and tell them why. If they didn't realise it would make you angry and they then apologise (and don't do it again), then there's no need to keep on punishing them. It was just a mistake and life is too short to hold a grudge like this.

    As for your question, don't discuss it over text (it's too easy to misinterpret, especially when you're angry). Arrange to meet and just talk through what happened, how it made you feel, and why you were angry. But be really calm when you do it and also be prepared to listen to his point of view.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Thanks, I appreciate when people tell me something I don't know and enlighten me. I really needed this especially today because I got into another argument with my madre and duh I love her for everything she is but yeah unfortunately my anger and nerves get the best of me. What I took from this was when you said about the things I do when I'm angry is to show I am angry which makes perfect sense. I believe though, if you just say "I'm angry" I don't think they will know how angry you are therefore, they will take it easy when it means a lot to you so I don't think it's easy to just say "I'm angry". Is it right to go off on them? No but I don't know how else to show them and prove my point. It feels good to release it all not hold it in and pretend like everything's fine at the moment when they are most def not. So I'm stuck.
      Good news though, I'm talking to my bf but we haven't mentioned what happened since I believe we know in our mind that when we hang out next time, we'll discuss it. Also, something flipped in me after I went off on my mom and I just calmed down just by thinking it's not the end of the world, life goes on, it's moving on right now so why not go with it, etc stuff like that and I talked to her and we're okay now. BUT, she even said she knows how I am, I get annoyed and blow up at the moment so she's kind of used to it, I kinda got it from my dad I guess. The point is it's gonna happen again, I'm gonna blow up to who knows and I don't want it to. I think solving it would make a huge impact on my life.

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      • Frosties
        12 years ago

        I might have got this slightly wrong because your title was talking about "him" but I think the point remains that you feel angry and want to prove you were right and feel vindicated.

        One thing I tried to say in my reply to you, but didn't do very well, is that relationships are about two people. There are two points. And they can differ. It isn't always about proving your own point, but about coming to some resolution that works for both of you. If you keep trying to push your point, you will anger the other person.

        Anger is a powerful emotion but it doesn't do much good. Sometimes it can be a declaration that you're so keyed in to what you feel, that you are not letting someone else feel what they feel. It's not a fault, by the way, but considering other people is not a weakness either. Sometimes you need to ask people how they see a situation. Especially in a situation where two people see it differently.

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  • TerryVie
    12 years ago

    seriously, your issues are deeper than a text message.

    either sit down and calmly think about what this relationship means to you, then have a nice chat together, or forget the whole thing and go with ono's advice.

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