Should i tell her that i have been raped?

6 Comments

So this is the very first time i am admitting of being raped as a kid and now i am 28 (guy).
There is this girl. We are very close and we share everything. Except for this little detail that as a kid i have been lured to an abandoned house and raped by two much older guys. Never ever told anyone about this but i can say that this episode defined my life. So this girl i am talking about is the girl of my dreams and constantly is pushing me of finding a girlfriend of my own. I am too afraid to tell her that i like her in that way and when the conversation start to spice up i am too afraid of letting her know thst she is the one that i want. Of couse she mocks me of my lack of girlfriend (in a jocking way of course). So what do you guys think should i let her know about my rape and how that defined me? Im too torn apart of my wish to tell her and the shame that comes after so please, if you feel like it, give some advice.

Yes 1
No 2
Decide for yourself 6
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Comments ( 6 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Absolutely NOT! It seems she has made it clear to you that she is not interested in you in the same way that you are in her, so it's not like this relationship is going anywhere.
    It's not like this is necessarily something you should be ashamed of, but on the other hand, it probably isn't something this girl needs to know.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I think you would serve yourself well to take your time on this one, my friend. Telling her could backfire and hurt you. In my somewhat humble opinion that sort of sensitive information should be on a need to know basis.

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  • dinz
    8 years ago

    That decision is up to you and you shouldn't feel obliged in anyway to tell anyone should you not be comfortable.

    Saying that, some people find it beneficial to tell someone as a way of releasing any tease emotions or having someone there to comfort them.

    If you like this girl, why don't you ask her out? See if she is willing to take it further. And from there it should give you a better perspective if revealing this to her would help you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    I am not sure what to do as far as telling people secrets. Ive confessed things before to people I was close to and it can go either way. Sometimes they are supportive and sometimes they judge, but when they judge it makes everything so much worse and makes me want to be more closed off than I am.
    The best idea for revealing secrets is to establish a meaningful relationship first, whether its romantic, or platonic. The sad part is after that rejection will even be worse than before.
    I would start with telling her you like her. I dont know why, but some girls expect guys to confess those things early on, which has always been confusing to me because I never have feelings for a girl until ive known her for several months or even years.
    I wish I could give better advise but I am living my own hell and am not sure what to do much if the time either but I wish you the best luck.

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  • CountessDouche
    8 years ago

    Why should you ask? It sounds to me like you feel ashamed of this secret, but you shouldn't be.

    It isn't your fault. It's not your fault. It is in no way your fault.

    You didn't choose this; it won't make you look bad, and there is no reason to associate it with any shame.

    Of course, it is your choice whether you share your story or not, but you should never feel as if it reflects badly on you to talk about it if you need to. It may help you to open up.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Well it is not easy for a guy to admit of being raped but i know wasnt my fault. It is still good to hear it from someone else. Thnx

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