Should i stay friends with these people?

10 Comments

I have roommates who are good examples of passive-aggressiveness especially one who is the sarcastic one. She is known for being sarcastic, good for her, but when you begin to pick on somebody all the time sarcastically, that becomes passive-aggressive. She basically thinks I am a b*tch considering all her sarcastic statements but I'm only proving her point more because I'm frustrated by her comments. In example, "your mom is so sweet, is that why you tend to be the way you are cause you grew up surrounded by nice people?" with a stupid smirk. I looked at her like whaa? Unlike her, I am an honest person who will state my feelings towards someone directly which probably why she thinks Im a bitch. However, she doesn't tell me directly because she avoids conflict. FYI, she's causing conflict! She already portrays herself insecure so I get if she has self-esteem issues and doesn't want to face confrontation. That's only ONE example of her being passive-aggressive. I'm sure others find her sarcasm funny but when its non-stop and personal, that's when the funny stops.

My other roommate is passive-aggressive by making excuses when she clearly doesn't want to do something. I have witnessed it with my other roommates inviting her somewhere but I've left it alone even though its annoying. BUT she finally did it to me so now I have a problem with it. I greatly appreciate if you say no to an invitation instead of you trying to not look bad. She'll be like in slow motion "uhhhhhh...I...kindaaaaa...have tooooo...do thisss..." "its okay if you're busy I get it" "ya causeeeee..." "NO." So I'm dealing with all this bs and I can easily move on from it but I plan to ultimately confront them with everything Ive been feeling because right now I look like the crazy or bad person to them since like I said, I am a direct person so I've probably not handled it in the best clear way. After the confrontation though, it'll probably be awkward knowing them because it seems like that's just their personality so they won't easily stop. In other words, should I just move on from them completely? Because besides this frustration, we used to have a lot of fun until they started alienating me.

Yes 8
No 15
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Comments ( 10 )
  • flowergirl87
    10 years ago

    I absolutely know what you're talking about with the first example. I actually don't really speak to a relative now because they're like that. One day, a straw broke the camels back and I just thought, nope, I don't have to deal with this anymore. I realised how much it had affected me negatively as well. So I told them what I thought and since then we don't really speak.

    With the other example, sounds like they need to grow up and learn to be upfront with people! I believe it's more respectful to others to be honest. But it's tricky because if you quite blatantly say to someone that you just don't really want to do something, they can take it personally because people can be insecure.

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    • plum6
      10 years ago

      really though.. I have seen other comments by you, and you seem like such an incredibly nice and righteous person that it just freaks me out. I cannot help agreeing to what you are saying, but you just sound like the little angel on the shoulder of a cartoon when he/she is trying to make a decision. I agree that these people seem childish and that they need to be confronted..but I the way you formulate it just makes me wanna disagree with you, just for the fun of it

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      • flowergirl87
        10 years ago

        lol! Thank you, I think? I just really care about people and want people to be ok, I guess. And I have quite a strong awareness of how things can affect people mentally. I also tend to think of things in terms of quite a wide view - a worldly outlook maybe. I look and listen in life and then try and help as best I can when I can see someone is struggling. I can't stand to see people unhappy when I know they could be so much more content. Of course we're responsible for ourselves, ultimately, but I think we should all look after each other a bit, if that makes sense.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Hey flowergirl87, you mention how you have a strong awareness of how things can affect people mentally. I have to say I am kind of like that too. I observe people and gain knowledge what to get myself into and what not to get into but honestly it feels like majority of the time I find myself not trusting others and prevents me from making friends and all hence, these girls. I don't want to continue my friendship with them because if they're going to be shady, I rather stay away but at the same time, maybe theyre potentially good friends in the future. Do you ever find yourself missing out because you're so aware of these things?

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          • flowergirl87
            10 years ago

            Yes, I know what you mean. On the one hand, it's an advantage, on the other it can feel like a hindrance. In a way, it would be nice to be naive and unaware and you may end up having more fun!? But ultimately, I think I'd rather be a wise one ; )

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You should kill them with a hammer, but say sorry first.

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  • Hotsuma_Renjou
    10 years ago

    I hate when people get on you like, ok I ger it you are just being funny, joking around, etc... but when is just always picking one person to joke on I hate it. I find it mean, the same with the sarcastic girl geting all personal and stuff with you -w-

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  • EdWall234
    10 years ago

    Don't confront, just be honest. A lot of people in this world could easily solve their problems if they just were direct and cold with each other. Also if this persists just tell your sarcastic friend with absolute conviction that consistent sarcasm isn't actually funny.

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  • oops
    10 years ago

    No, you should not stay friends with these people. There's your answer.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    I think the three of you are nuts. You especially, for calling these girls friends. Get a grip!

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