Should i let my daughter to visit her mother in jail?

4 Comments

My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old has been sentenced to jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree 
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the thing we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this? 

My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about i shouldI take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girl If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?

yes 9
no 4
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Couman
    8 years ago

    Maybe visit by yourself first to see how it goes? But generally I think it's a good idea to let her visit.

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  • LittleGirlGaggedAndRaped
    8 years ago

    That's a hard decision allowing your daughter see her mother like that. That would be my issue with the whole thing. It seems if she's cracking jokes about her mother then she's telling you it's fine you let her see her mother. A 14 year old in this day and age with internet and cellphones there really isn't going to be much you could scar a child that age with but that's just one mans opinion.

    Let her see her mother if she wants to and YOU are going to have to prepare YOURSELF not having a woman in the kitchen and cleaning up around the place. It's time to teach the daughter the importance of work ethics and money. Put her on a $20 a week or so allowance to make up for your temporary loss, hell my father gave me $5 a week allowance but also fed and provided shelter she has nothing to complain about.

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  • LittleGirlGaggedAndRaped
    8 years ago

    That's a hard decision allowing your daughter see her mother like that. That would be my issue with the whole thing. It seems if she's cracking jokes about her mother then she's telling you it's fine you let her see her mother. A 14 year old in this day and age with internet and cellphones there really isn't going to be much you could scar a child that age with but that's just one mans opinion.

    Let her see her mother if she wants to and YOU are going to have to prepare YOURSELF not having a woman in the kitchen and cleaning up around the place. It's time to teach the daughter the importance of work ethics and money. Put her on a $20 a week or so allowance to make up for your temporary loss, hell my father gave me $5 a week allowance but also fed and provided shelter she has nothing to complain about.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    How about giving your daughter some say in this? Surely you need to check out if she wants to visit her mother before you come on the internet asking us if we think it's OK?

    By the way I DO think it's ok, why would it not be for a 14 year old? And of course it's ok for her to ask anyone whatever she wants answers to, especially from her parents.

    You seem to be infantilising her and are far too over protective: she's 14, not 4!

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