Should i let him have sex on his birthday?

16 Comments

Since my husband lost his job about 3 years ago I became the main earner. I was able to get a good job in management and he couldn't get any work. I'd just worked part time before that. Now days he works part time 4 mornings a week and looks after the house. I work long hours and I'm tired when I get home. He's a good, 'housewife' as I call him, I never have to lift a finger round the house, a situation I greatly appreciate.

Our problem was our sex life, when I come home I'm tired, so I'm usually in bed early, but struggle to get to sleep as I have worked a long day and am not relaxed. Sunday l go to bed early as I'm up early Monday morning. The only night I get to stay up and go out with my husband, or stay in drink wine watch a film etc is a Saturday, so I don't want to have an early night just because he wants sex. In the mornings on the weekends I want to get up to do things, I only have 2 days off a week, so always thought I don't want to waste them staying in bed late. All this added up to us having virtually no sex life, and we ended up rowing a lot.

I came up with a suggestion, we would not make love during the week as I am too tired, but he will give me an orgasm any night I want one (which has actually turned out to be most nights) as it will help me sleep. In return I promised to make love at least once every weekend. He felt this very unfair, as it meant he gave me an orgasm virtually every day whilst he settled for once a week, twice if he was lucky. I told him I work hard and get tired it's the best I can offer, and better than our current arrangement of hardly any sex and lots of rows. He tried to renegotiate but I stood my ground and in the end he caved. I told him if he wanted more in the week to use his hand.

I found out he was wanking off several times a week. That was fine, but I discovered he was more attentive when we made love and he hadn't wanked off for a few days. This made it much better for me, I asked him if he would mind not doing it for a couple of days before the weekend. He didn't like it, we argued but he eventually agreed. He broke the agreement the first week. I came up with a solution which once again he didn't like, I asked him to wear a chastity cage from Wednesday night until we made love on the weekend. More rows followed, I told him I wasn't having sex every weekend any more, it was a battle of wills but in the end he agreed to try it. We ordered one and life went on.

We have had this arrangement for over 2 years now. I love it, he says he would like more sex but it's not that bad. I know I get the best deal but that's life. I am very rigid about things and never allow this routine to vary even for holidays and stuff as I like it that way. I am on leave today as we are going away tomorrow for a family wedding on Saturday, and then we are off on holiday the next day. Next Thursday is his birthday and he has asked not to wear the cage while we are away as he would like more sex and he wants to make love on his birthday. I have told him that is not part of our agreement and we should stick to our usual routine. I have denied him sex on his birthday for the past 2 years as it didn't fit the routine even though I made him give me an orgasm both years. This year he can't even get himself off as it is a chastity day, but I still say an agreement is an agreement and we should keep to it. Am I being too harsh.

I should let him keep the cage off just for his birthday and make love with him 3
I should let him keep the cage off all holiday but only have extra sex on his birthday 1
I should stick to our routine 3
I should let him keep the cage off just for his birthday so he can wank off 1
I should let him keep the cage off for the whole holiday but not have extra sex 0
I should let him keep the cage off for the whole holiday and have lots of sex 0
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Comments ( 16 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    You should stop posting this and put a chastity cage on each of your hands to prevent internet access.

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  • Nickvey
    5 years ago

    he should find a girlfriend or a boyfriend to fuck while you are at work. that way he can sleep at night . you can get your own.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    What the fuck did I just read

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  • McBean
    5 years ago

    You really know how to make your husband miserable. You don't need him anymore. Find a nice female subordinate to be his sexual surrogate.

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  • Mark92
    5 years ago

    My girl friend and I often celebrate our respective birth days with sex XD...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      That's nice but I'm not your girlfriend, but I take your point. Thank you

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  • Iszzy123
    5 years ago

    Maybe you two can film ur selfs doing it and he can wank to that
    Or maybe buy a vibrator so makeing you organsm is a simple task
    Or Maybe you should help him get a better job so you won't have to work as hard or start aiming/toward one
    Or Maybe you should invest in life Insurance. He may relizwed how shitty his life is and call it quits Gfb
    Or Maybe you should go to therapy And lean why you have so much control over everything
    Or maybe just trust the lord to figure things out

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      As far as the wanking goes I believe he manages quite well without a film of us and I have no intention of having sex on camera.

      I already have a couple of vibrators which he uses on me sometimes but my personal preference is his tounge or his fingers, he is very good with both and has no issues with using them on me.

      He is actually quite happy being the one working part time and taking care of the house, this is not an issue for either of us. I enjoy the fact I have an opportunity to have a career, this was not really an option when the children were young and it is going really well for me. I know I get tired because I work long hours but all good things have to be worked for.

      We already have life insurance but not because anyone wants to kill themselves. He might complain a bit about the cage, but he still puts it on himself every week when I ask him to and hands over the key. The spare key for emergencies is kept in a secure perspect container which is sealed shut, and must be broken to open it. It sits on the mantelpiece in the living room and he has never once smashed it open.

      I have done therapy before, apparently I have mild autistic traits which is why I am, and have always been very routine focused. I have learnt to question myself about my obsession with routines, but even when I recognize I am being obsessive I still find it hard to break the routine. This is also why I am a bit controlling so I can manage my routines. He knows and accepts all this.

      As for the lord, religion is just a fairy tale.

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  • Iszzy123
    5 years ago

    I thought a lot about what to say and I think you should have compassion on him. all he wants is to make love to his wife a bit more and I know ur selfish but throw dog/husband a bone. However I don't think you should do it on his birth day maybe a week or two after so it's a suprise maybe you could even get him a threesom

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Don't do threesomes. So are you saying you don't think I should leave the cage off for his birthday?

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      • Iszzy123
        5 years ago

        I think the cage should come off I mean he wears it for you not Caues he wants to

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Back from holiday last night so a quick update. I couldn't bring myself to leave his cage off on Thursday for his birthday. But I did have him bring me to several orgasms that day so not a total loss as far as sex went. I would not normally have him bring me to orgasm during the week except at night to help me sleep. But he kept asking to have the cage off so he could wank off, in the end I came up with a compromise that he would keep the cage but could bring me to orgasm in the morning instead of having a wank and as we were in the hotel that day I said he could do it again during the afternoon. He told me there was no point, which I thought was very ungrateful as he knows how much I hate changing a routine, so I had a bit of a go at him. In the end he said he would try and see if it made him feel better. I actually really enjoyed it so I suggested we should do this more often in the mornings. He has given me an orgasm every morning since, including a short while ago this morning, and I have felt really happy all day. That might be because we were on holiday but I am back at work tomorrow so will see how it goes.

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          • Iszzy123
            5 years ago

            Would things be different if you didn’t need an orgasm to help you sleep

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              Orgasms release a chemical in the brain which helps relaxation and is a good sleep remedy. I found this out by accident when looking on the internet. The whole point was to help me sleep better in the week and also look for ways to improve our sex life. The orgasms seemed to me like the perfect solution if it worked but I couldn't do the whole sex thing every night especially as it would be more likely he would cum, I wouldn't, then I take a shower etc. and end up even more tired. That's how we ended up with the orgasms for me at night and gauranteed sex at the weekend so we both got something out of it. I introduced the cage because where he was getting himself off all week, sex at the weekend became very boring, limited foreplay then him on top puffing and panting for a couple of minutes and it was all over. We both knew it was rubbish but internet research provided the answer again in the form of the cage. For the most part we now spend a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon being intermet, as I said before I am very routine focused. He has then worn his cage for nearly 4 full days, he is gagging for it by then, so I get the full pamper works and 3 or 4 orgasms before I let him out. Then he is released and the sex is fantastic for both of us.

              My point is we have ended up where we are, through a series of events that really began when he lost his job. What we have now really works for me and that is important as I bring in the money. Up to 3 years ago I always put my husband first before my own needs, women do that a lot. But things changed and we have basically swapped roles, so I think it only fair that he puts me first. He does have to make a sacrifice by wearing the cage and I realise this is huge for him. He can't touch himself or get relief plus he has to sit to pee which was apparently a massive deal (not sure why, but at least he doesn't keep leaving the seat up). Anyway point is it works for us despite his occasionally whining about it so no I see no reason why we would change anything.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          In a way he wears it for both of us, he admits we have had better sex the last couple of years since we introduced this routine into our lives. He also admits that without it he gives in to the temptation and goes off to relieve himself. I know he is saying as we are on holiday it doesn’t matter if we relax things a bit. But I always think as this arrangement works well, we should keep to it. If we start making exceptions because we are on holiday or it’s his birthday, the next thing is he will start finding other reasons for an exception. Next it will be because its our anniversary, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, my birthday, another holiday. Then it becomes oh go on just this once, we left it off last week on holiday and it was fine, then if I agree to that it becomes we left it off and made love on Friday a couple of weeks ago so why not this week. Before we know it we are on the slippery slope to crap sex, so then I don’t want to do it, then he gets upset and won’t give me my orgasms, then I’m getting stressed about life, then I can’t sleep. We end up where we were 2 or 3 years ago.

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  • IceRed
    5 years ago

    O

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