Should i keep my girlfriend? iin?

15 Comments

Hey, I really need to just share this with someone, so thank you so much, if you're taking your time to read this. I know it's long, I'm sorry, but I just need to get this out, and get some feedback on it. It means a lot to me.

Now to start the story. I'm 18, first of all, so it's not just some puppy love. And my friends and I are known as being rather mature, when it comes to relationships. Two of my friends have even had the same girlfriends for over a year now.
I started a relationship with my current girlfriend back in November. So we've roughly been together for 6 months. When we first got together, she was a cutter, and I felt empathy for her, since my brother's been a cutter as well, and I've had a friend who died of cutting.
On top of that, I'd never really had a serious relationship, and was curious about it. She is sweet, and she needed help, so we started dating.

And I grew to love her. She stopped cutting, and we've got our own little rituals and habbits together. And we were generally just happy. But then, something changed. I'm not quite sure what. But when we're together, eventhough we still laugh and have a good time, I can feel she's often bothered by me. And I myself have started having problems seeing her as my love. Our relationship has grown to be more friendship-like.
And in the start, I was cool with that. I know that newfound love feeling doesn't last forever, and we still had a great time.
Then the real problem started. My class and I went to Sweden for a weekend, as part of a school project, and while there, I talked a great lot to this girl from my class. And I fell for her. And it's crazy, because I've never really talked much to her, but now I have discovered that we're so alike. We like the same music, and not just as in one genre, but pretty much all of them. And I've always been a gamer (used to play hardcore), and she's a gamer as well, and we have had nerd-gasm together over stupid stuff. And we both write. Basically, we just click perfectly.

But I haven't done anything with her, that can be categorised, as more than friendly, because I want to stay in good with my girlfriend. So I don't know if she likes me.
I haven't seen her in three weeks though. She doesn't come to school anymore, because of problems at home. So I thought, that maybe, if I just waited, these feelings for her would die out. Only they haven't, and a little part of me wishes I was with her, when I'm with my girlfriend.

So what keeps me with my girlfriend? I'm afraid she might cut again. She has cutted once since she stopped, and that was because I told her, that I liked this other girl (yes, I tell her everything; I can't help it). So I can't imagine what it would do to her, if we broke up, and she then saw me hanging out with the other girl. Who, I'd like to point out, doesn't necessarily like me that way.

So I don't know what to do. Please, write a comment and state your opinion, and vote whether you think I should stay with my girlfriend or try my luck with the other girl.
And thank you, again, for reading through all of this. It means so much to me.

Stay with your girlfriend. 15
Try and get the girl you like. 36
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Comments ( 15 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago | pl

    As a former cutter myself, I will tell you, point blank:
    You can't be her salvation.

    Period. There will be other stresses in life. Other problems that have jack shit to do with you and she needs to learn how to handle her emotions without harming herself. You're her crutch. You're the stability that she clings onto but she needs to realize that life itself is unstable and she can't depend on a weak, fallible human for her everlasting comfort. It doesn't work that way.

    If it is not you, it will be something else. Trust me on this, from personal experience as 5+ years as a cutter, 6 months of not cutting can't possibly qualify as having quit. She will have the urge to cut for her whole life, and she needs to learn to manage those emotions herself, not rely on someone else to manage them for her.

    If you can't see yourself being with her, then leave her. You can't bring her what she lacks which makes her cut. Only she can do that for herself. The world is rough and not every relationship is meant to last and she needs to get over this.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago

    I can't tell you what you should do but it sounds to me like you found someone whom you really like and perhaps like even more than your current girlfriend. It happens. We meet new people and we find others who are more compatible. That's the process of dating after all. You should pursue what is going to make you happier.

    Weather you do leave your current girlfriend or not is up to you. But don't let that decision be made on weather or not your actions will make her start cutting again.

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  • Half_Shock
    10 years ago

    You shouldn't stay with someone out of guilt or because you think they'll harm themselves. It sounds like she was manipulating you into staying with her when you told her about the other girl. What are you going to do stay with someone you've fallen out of love with for the rest of your life? Teens break up, and you're going to continue changing for several more years, you are not responsible for her actions. She needs to work on her emotional issues or seek professional help, not a boyfriend that enables her.

    You may think you're finished/close to being fully mature, but I promise in a few years you will feel differently. 6 months is not a long relationship, loving someone is different than being in love, and it sounds like you no longer have those feelings for her.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    "I'm 18, first of all, so it's not just some puppy love."

    Hahahaha, yeah because 18 year olds are so grown up.

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      they can buy cigs, like a man

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      • Justsomejerk
        10 years ago

        They can buy cigars, like a boss.

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    • westoptic
      10 years ago

      Technically they are since "grown up" is used to refer to adults and 18 is the legal age of adulthood.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Mentally and emotionally they are like children. They are about to enter the real world, and it's a long road of learning ahead. They just don't want to see it that way because they want to be grown up and in control, I was the same. Everyone who is 18 now will look back at themselves in ten years and realise just how stupid and naive they really were.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I never understood people who cut themselves. It's the most retarded thing in the world!
    why do these people cut themselves? Because they are pissed off at life. Why are they pissed off? Because of the fact that other people made them feel like that.
    So why the fuck would you be cutting yourself? CUT THE PEOPLE WHO MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!

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  • theworldismine
    10 years ago

    Am I the only one who thinks about you girlfriend? If she is a cutter, then it might not be because of you that she feels down and maybe treat you like she don't want to be around you.I don't know.
    But maybe you should break up with you girlfriend. Not because I think you should go after the new girl, but because you choose to write a post on a website, asking what you should do. Your girlfriend is clearly in a very bad place (or at least have been). She don't need a boyfriend who ask the world instead of asking her. Saying that I do really hope that you two get to talk about it, because if you really like your girlfriend she deserves to know the truth. And if you do break up with her, maybe you should wait with the new girl until you're sure you know what you want.

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  • shitiantian
    10 years ago

    just imagine,which one you prefer,you know thst you cannot choose them both,you know what,you are still too young,dont say that you are an adult,not yet...throw a coin,one side choose your gf,the other side choose your classmate,when it on the sky,you might want an answer,and that,is your chosen.for me,I prefer the second girl.Its really hard to find a soulmate,Im not sure if she's your right choice,but,try something new is not bad,right?besides,your gf is a cutter,maybe oneday she'll hurt you,who knows?Its a bit dangerous,ha?Just do the things you want,if you care too much,u'll mske life kind of mess and seems like fuck world,dont hesitate,just do it,remember,life always short and changes lot,so dont regret,ok?

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  • lily1993
    10 years ago

    *dump

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    TL;DR

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  • lily1993
    10 years ago

    Dumb the girl empathy os what you had yoi have and will carry on having...stay friends with her though ,once she has gotten over herself

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  • KaffeInjection
    10 years ago

    Yeah.. Keep her in the basement, they will never find her.

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