Should i just have sex to get it over with?

I've always thought of sex as a distant thing I would share with someone I really like, so I never gave too much thought about it. I've had girl friends but I've never had sex with them because I never felt the need to. But now I'm at that age where like almost half my friends have had sex and I feel left out, almost like a loser for still being a virgin at 18. I know I could probably go on tinder and just get the thing over with ASAP, and honestly I am very tempted. but another part of my brain says I shouldn't give into pressure and just wait until i'm in a proper relationship with someone I actually like. Is it worth just getting over with it? everyday I feel pathetic/ anxiety about the situation and I just feel like the odd one out, so maybe i'm thinking I should just do it so I don't have to worry about it anymore?

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 10 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • S0UNDS_WEIRD

    Absolutely not. Don't settle. There was a young woman on here who had a boyfriend willing to trade his whole Amazon gift card he got for his birthday in exchange for her virginity. There are some real keepers out here.

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  • jrbsportz

    Dude don't give in to these freaking idiot's just because they had sex doesn't mean you have too take your time think about it maybe some nice attractive lady gets your attention and the best part it's the courtship leading up to the day,sex is good fun and relaxing but also it can wait just saying from hard rock dude

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  • samanthajade

    Dont do it if you dont want to. Peer pressure is bull shit and you dont have to do it just because..

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  • Honestly, virginity doesn't mean much when it comes to a guy enough to hold on to it. Men won't respect you for it and women won't think you're attractive for it either. You're 18, which isn't all that bad but time is ticking and the sooner you have sex the sooner you'll become comfortable with the experience and become better at it.

    You will feel like the odd one out, that's normal, dude. The subject is paired with the nervousness of your first time and we've all been there so don't feel alone in that. I'm not saying to become a sex-pest but don't hold on to your virginity intentionally. Good luck, brother, we all have been here and no doubt many of your peers are going through the exact same thing as you right this second.

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  • bbrown95

    I believe sex is something you should do when you feel ready, and because you truly feel it is the right time, not because of pressure.

    Honestly, it's extremely common for 18-year-olds to be virgins, but many don't talk about it, because there is a lot of pressure at that age to lose your virginity. Even as a girl, my friends were pressuring me like crazy. I never felt comfortable with it, so didn't give in, and have zero regrets (and personally, would've regretted doing it just to get it over with).

    If you feel that sex is something you would like with someone you're in a serious relationship with, I think you should wait, especially if you have any doubts at all about having it with just anyone. To be honest, it is really nobody's business whether you're a virgin or not, so if anyone tries to pry into your sex life, just tell them you keep that information private. Yes, you will probably be given crap about it, but to be honest, that is just immaturity and often insecurity. Do what you feel deep down is right for you, and don't allow anyone to pressure you or make you feel inferior about your decision.

    Honestly, the only difference between a virgin and a non-virgin is the fact that one has experienced something the other hasn't. That's it. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean one is more desirable or better in any way than a virgin, as people have sex with people they don't really care about all the time. Virginity is really not nearly as big of a deal as many people make it out to be, and you'll still be the same person after you lose it. There's absolutely no shame in being a virgin, and the stigma surrounding virginity is actually pretty childish and ignorant.

    If your gut is telling you something, follow it. Do what you feel is right for you. Do not allow your fear of what people might think of you rule your decision, as their opinions really do not matter (and like I said, it's not any of their business, anyway). Do what feels right to YOU.

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  • SkullsNRoses

    It sound to me like you’re doing this to please your friends rather than because you actually want to have sex.

    It’s worth bearing in mind that having your first time at 18-24 is far more common than most people realise, people just don’t advertise it as it’s taboo to do so. Lots of people are sexually inexperienced at 18, especially introverts. Also any “friends” making fun of you for what you do or don’t do in the bedroom are not your friends. Remember it’s your body and your decision, not theirs.

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  • Sanara

    You can decide for yourself. If you wait there is no garantee you actually will have sex later (so if you think its really important I think you should, of course it must be consensual) but I also don't think its "necessary" to get over with it.

    You sound like you mainly want it because you're insecure, remember you can base your self worth on other things. I'm sure you have other good qualities to be proud of. And maybe you can look for ways contribute something to those around you (at any level, whether its friends, job, your family, society as a whole, adopting a pet etc.) Maybe try creating something like art if you're creative. Maybe try some other type of accomplishment like improving in a sport of your choosing or learn to play an instrument. Don't pretend to you want someone as a girlfriend if you only want sex, but some people actually just want casual sex

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  • Do eet!

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  • jethro

    Are you a male or female?

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  • LloydAsher

    If you are a guy. Just uncork that virginity to someone. The first time will always be weird (anyone who says differently is lying)

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    • Don't be fuking stupid, Lloyd! Everyone knows women prefer an unexperienced man in the sack! Do you not remember fifty shades of lukewarm grey? Shiiiit, what about Tricky Mike? Everyone knows women just can't contain their panties at the idea of a virgin man.

      The fact your comment got downvoted, to me, shows a clear lack of intellect or an overuse of crusty socks. Haha.

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      • LloydAsher

        How common is it to bruise your feet during sex? Like it wasnt being used in a sexual way just for, you know support. Kinda feep proud of the injury. People still didnt answer my question on whether or not i should be prideful or guilty.

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    • S0UNDS_WEIRD

      Wasn't for me. I agree that if there's ever a time to be weird that's probably a common one but there's no reason it just has to be weird. It's very circumstantial.

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      • LloydAsher

        I think a lot of guys make the fool move during their first time by ditching foreplay, i did it and it turns out I had a thicc one so I caused legitimate damage when lube isnt plentiful.

        Still dont know how that even socially registers. If you caused damage to your partner solely based on sexual performance should that be taken as an achievement or guilt? I got bruised bottoms of my feet from this 😅😅😂😂

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        • S0UNDS_WEIRD

          My first time was also the girl's first time and she was very much so in the mood because she trusted me, we had been doing other stuff for months, and we weren't nervous about it at all.

          It actually went really well, far from the worst, and definitely wasn't weird. It just felt like the natural progression of things rather than some weird experiment or task. I think that's what set it apart. We were just doing what we wanted to and not trying to prove anything to ourselves, each other, or the world.

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