Should i just accept the fact that he wants to be with me?

56% Normal
9 Comments

Im having trouble accepting the fact that I am not as smart as my bf is, I am not as experienced or independent as my bf is. He is 5 years older than me so yes I can understand but still, people my age are already at his level, not to mention he does still act a little younger than his actual age but he is mature.

Anyways I just know that he already knows he's dealing with someone who is not that smart yet he's still around, not to mention, we took another step into our relationship recently. I'm not stupid, I know what I want, I know how to do certain things but I might not be that confident and him looking at me like "oh no" doesn't help. He doesn't straight up tell me I'm stupid but his face shows it. He just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Sometimes he's mean about it though as in rather than encouraging me to be better he goes "ill do it" or "nothing, forget it." I'm not used to being the one to be looked down on. With my ex and friends, they looked up to me, I motivate them, and they consider me as this overall smart, independent person. But to him, maybe cause he is a little more mature than anyone I have gotten close to, I feel really below him. But like I said, he's still with me yet he doesnt seem to take me seriously. I wanna ask him "would u marry me one day?" just to see if he does see a future with me and how seriously he takes me but I know that question will throw him off and possibly break up w me lol.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 9 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    Two simple options. Either you realize that you're insecure, and save him the drama and break up with him. Get your shit together, and then get back into the dating scene. (You could also specifically date those who are your equal or inferior but that is such a weak choice imo) An enormous majority of such situations end in the girl never getting over this inferiority complex, and kaput goes the r'ship.

    Or you can be the rare exception and realize that relationships aren't supposed to be a competition, or a comparison, and that if he wants to be with you he sees something(s) so special in you that no other girl could match no matter how brainier, more experienced, hotter etc she was.

    As for him not taking you seriously, it's not necessary that this problem has to be connected to the other one.

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    You guys should see eachother as equal. That's what makes a healthy relationship work.

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  • derpyderp
    8 years ago

    It's you isn't it?

    You've just learnt how to use the Enter key to try & throw us all off...

    Have a little more confidence in yourself & nobody should have a reason to look down upon you unless you are purposely trying, & failing, to show off your intellect.

    The other possibility is that your bf didn't look down at you at all & that is all in your head.
    My advice is the same either way.
    Accept that he wants to be with you. Nothing else to be done now is there?

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago

    Then be smarter. Read novels, study, learn shit . . .

    I was in a relationship like that. She knew so much more than me. Because of that, I made it my mission to learn about all the things she was interested in. I then surpassed her knowledge of things she loved and she began to resent me for it . . . . You know what? Nevermind.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Did she ever look down on you for not knowing things? or did she encourage you as you learned?

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      • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
        8 years ago

        She encouraged me to learn. She simply didn't expect that I would surpass her knowledge.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Right well he barely encourages me. But usually it takes people to look down on me to motivate me. I tink that's the best motivation but when it comes to your partner, it hurts a little cause its your partner and he should encourage me. I think sometimes it also has to do w the fact that he's a guy so he feels good about having all the power.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    8 years ago

    Looks like you have an inferiority complex or just low self esteem.

    Have more confidence.
    Although, that's probably easier said than done.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yup it is! I hate faking confidence cause I end up looking like a fool and it makes me have lower self-esteem.

      I honestly try and just move on and not think about it too much but I can't help my nerves, I'll get irritated when I'm noticing he's not taking me seriously when he should, I think I deserve to be taken seriously just like how others including my ex have treated me.

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