Should i help this girl? how?

K so basically I met this girl on tinder at my college and we planned on being "cuddle buddies" but she seemed super desperate and so slowly got more sexual after meeting a few times. About 2 or 3 weeks in when the furthest we had gotten was me sucking her tits, she opened up to me over text and said she had been molested multiple times by her dad growing up and she had severe depression and was on a ton of meds, had atempted suicide recently and all this.

Basically I thought we were just casual buds but she opened way up and basically she is an emotional wreck. She apologized for dumping that on me even though I insisted that I didn't mind and she has often told me how much she enjoys seeing me.

Now the issue is, I SWEAR she likes me and wants a more serious relationship but she is shy to ask me because she knows I do other casual sex and all this. So I see her almost everyday, I stay the night with her probably like twice a week and we cuddle and do sexual stuff all the time and we text back and forth for hours.

So I feel bad for her but at the same time I am not obligated to be in a commited relationship with her. I really don't want to ignore her totally though because she is sexy, good in bed and we can meet very often so there's a lot of benefit I'm getting out if this as well.

So what advice do you have for me? What should I tell her? How can I put her off and tell her how I feel without making it harder on her?

Voting Results
41% Normal
Based on 17 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 67 )
  • RoseIsabella

    You need to be very honest, and upfront with her, and also refrain from just using her for sex, and throwing her away. She's probably a very easy person to use, because of her history of abuse. Don't abuse, or manipulate her for your own means.

    I predict that things get messy before it's all over.

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    • Well I wouldn't say I'm "using her for sex" considering how much she enjoys seeing me. It's called girls actually liking casual sex, its shocking I know.

      She is easy to get sex with but does that really mean I shouldn't? And let me remind you that it was her idea to get sexual the first time we did anyways.

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      • Clunk42

        Even though this is not my conversation to jump into, I feel obligated to do so. It seems to me that she understood what you were saying, but you didn't understand what she was saying.

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        • Well what was she saying? What did I not understand about it?

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          • Clunk42

            She's just providing you with a warning. She's not saying that you're using this girl for sex; she's warning you not to. She knows that there are many girls who like casual sex; anyone on this website knows that. She's not saying not to have sex with this girl; rather, she's providing a simple warning not to abuse her.

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            • Yeah I guess maybe she wasn't saying I was, I just assumed that because I have posted on here before and she has accused me multiple times of "using girls for sex" and shit along those lines. I am not abusing her she says all the time how much I'm helping her to stay sane.

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      • She enjoys seeing you so you think you're destined to bone her?

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        • What do you mean "destined"? She's hot and enjoys me fucking her. What single guy in his 20's would not take up on that?

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          • I suppose you are young.

            You will learn.

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            • Yes I'm young but I've also been doing "casual sex" for quite a while and no problems yet so idk

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      • Mammal-lover

        Theres no reason to be snippy now

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        • There isn't a good reason not to be, either.

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  • Nikclaire

    Don't play games and be honest with her. You aren't obligated to her and she isn't obligated to you.

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    • I know I need to I just don't want to hurt her feelings. I have told her multiple times about how I don't do serious relationships and all this so she knows full and well but idk.

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  • whynotnow

    Encourage her to seek professional help. A trained counselor/psychologist may be a better person to "open up" to than a guy she is sleeping with. Especially if she has suicidal thoughts.

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    • Shy already is seeing a professional. That's where she got the meds from that I mentioned in the post. I don't know if prescribing a bunch of different drugs is the best way to go because it doesn't seem to be helping her much. She does have a therapist that she sees though, that much I know.

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  • leggs91200

    There is but ONE explanation.
    The OP's FWB is hoping true love will prevail.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Yep I'm 95% sure that's the explanation. I have it when this type of thing happens.

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  • MrMercury24

    I mean if you don't want a relationship with her then do the girl a favor and hook her up with someone who does. It's the least you could do for the poor thing.

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    • But I like fucking her! Am I not allowed to consider what I want as well? She is very sexy and very good in bed, so why would I quit banging her and just pawn her off to someone else? I don't even know anyone good anyways and she is already so attached to me I don't think that would even work.

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  • EchoMaster

    Using someone for sex does not help them get over their father having molested them. It should either be all her or no her. At least sexually.

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    • Nikclaire

      Being molested does not make someone irreversibly broken and helpless. Why do you guys think that you're either our saviors or we are so fragile we can't be dtf and must be treated like wounded puppies.

      Fuck that. I screw who I want, when I want.

      Now do I think DNM is a good choice for her, no. He is a tinder slut, but at least he isn't a mouth breathing neck beard who gets off on breaking people.

      Regardless, this girl has a brain and can chose what she wants to do with her body.

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      • d0esnormalmatter

        So I'm bad for her because I'm a "tinder slut"? She has slept with more different people than I have.

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        • Nikclaire

          Well I'm not one to talk given my reckless sex life but a stable loving relationship would be best, wouldn't you agree? That being said, she is an adult and doing what she wants. It's not personal against you.

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          • d0esnormalmatter

            No I would not agree that a stable living relationship is best. If I thought it was best that's what I would pursue. For some people being promiscuous is the best way to satisfy sexual desires. In my opinion of course!

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    • Okay thanks for the input.

      I disagree however, and will take her at her word that she enjoys seeing me, and will continue to see, and stick my dick in, her for the time being.

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  • Sex can be a very emotional thing for both parties. I don't think there is such a thing as casual sex. Sex is about trust in the first place. I think she needs a friend more than a fuck buddy but that's just me

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    • No no your entitled to your opinion.

      But when I say sex is "casual", I don't mean like there is no emotions involved or anything, there definitely is like you say. What casual sex means to me is it's just sex for it's own sake without the intention of commitment or monogamy. So basically we don't expect the other person to be there for the rest of the areas of our life or to not be intimate with other people, both of which apply to classic relationship-sex or whatever you wanna call it.

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  • einexile

    Gracefully back out of the sexual aspect of the relationship but otherwise increase the time you spend together, and do more meaningful things together. Go out and do things during the day, take up a hobby or start a project and involve her in it. Don't do this in a sneaky or manipulative way, be straight up about it: Let's phase out the sex thing and instead have something we can keep. If we turn into a couple we're liable to hurt each other and that needs to never happen.

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    • Why are you using "we"?

      And did you read the whole post? I don't want to do other things with her, just sex and intimacy. She is a friend with benefits and I DO NOT want a relationship. The only reason I see her is because shes hot and fun to be sexual with. With this clarified, does your advice change?

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      • einexile

        You've never seen someone leave out quotation marks when paraphrasing conversation?

        If you consider her a friend you should not have sex with her, because she is getting attached to you and she seems emotionally messed up. But based on your response I think you don't get the "friend" part of "friend with benefits" anyway and really think of her as meat with benefits.

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        • How am I not emotionally supporting her? She vents to me all the time and it makes her feel better. We only talk about sex maybe a third of the time.

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  • WeirdGuyFr0mTheSouth

    You don't have to quit seeing other people to be there for her

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    • I know and that's what I'm doing. I fear she is getting attached enough to me to tye point where she'll start being upset that I'm seeing other people.

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      • Nikclaire

        What gives you that idea? Maybe she just wants you as a toy.

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        • How fucking needy she acts. She texts me literally 10 times a day. And we hang out almost everyday for hours and probably half the time we don't even get naked. She also is super sad when I leave and she was even trying to move in with me at one point.

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          • leggs91200

            she is in love with you, that is how people act.
            Too many texts, wanting to be around you every minute, etc.

            It will wear off, just might take some time.

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            • K well I sure as fuck hope so. It's getting a lil annoying.

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          • Nikclaire

            Well 10 texts is nothing but trying to move in a getting sad is kinda a red flag. I would distance myself if you don't want that.

            One thing you should for sure not do is try to "help" her. That will be a disaster.

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            • I am already helping her relieve stress and have like a sense of security and all that. That's all the farther I'm gonna go as of now.

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  • randypete

    look after her she could be good for you

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    • That's kinda the plan. My concern is her wanting a relationship from me, which I do not want.

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  • leggs91200

    I would bet TWENTY dyollars I know who the OP is. TWENTY dyollars.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Not fuckin me!

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      • leggs91200

        I guess I would have lost the $20. the OP was like "Fuck you bitch ass cunt bag".

        I know you do not get that bent out of shape on here.

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        • blinkeredharlot

          Lol he just outted himself as OP and theres an easy way to prove it even if he wasnt such a dumbass

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          • leggs91200

            He is not smart enough to use the word "reprehensible" plus it is not like him to get upset over shit.

            PLUS, if the OP were D... he would have mentioned something about sticking objects or his cock up the girl's sodomy-hole.

            Therefore, we can conclude the OP is not D...

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            • blinkeredharlot

              Lol the dumbass just admitted it all over the post again

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            • blinkeredharlot

              If you block him and check this post all OPs comments disappear. Plus its totally like him to roidrage tantrum he always does with you and others. PLUS he used the word incorrectly like he uses many big words and phrases

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            • d0esnormalmatter

              Awwww your so sweet legs

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Yeah. C'mon leggs lol

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    • Nikclaire

      Why d0esitmatter who O.P is?

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      • d0esnormalmatter

        Haha nice one

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      • Lol can't stand that guy.

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    • Fuck you bitch ass cunt bag. Don't even add any advice just comment that pitiful reprehensible comment. Smh

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      • blinkeredharlot

        Lol "reprehensible"

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  • Longcock48

    You are hurting her cause she thinks you're serious about her. It's time to tell her what's really up. Be honest with her

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    • Nope she knows I'm not serious about her. I have told her directly multiple times. Read the post before commenting please.

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