Should i forgive her for cheating?

20 Comments

Last year my girlfriend of three years went overseas to study abroad. In December of last year she admitted that she cheated on me but swears it was "just a kiss". I stopped talking to her out of anger for months. Eventually we started talking again last summer and we got back together. Then she tells me that while we stopped talking she lost her virginity to another guy. I tried my hardest to let it go because technically we weren't really together when it happened but I can never get it off my mind whenever I see her. What should I do?

Stay with her 15
Leave her 69
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Comments ( 20 )
  • MmmHmm
    10 years ago

    I'm personally a little surprised how okay people are that she kissed someone else while you were in a relationship. I've never kissed anyone (just hasn't happened for me yet), and I'm saving that for someone that means the world to me. Imagining the person I love kissing someone else, which I think of as an act of love, makes me uncomfortable. I would also feel betrayed.

    I would say that if she gave in to kissing another person, whether serious or not, is not okay. You have every right to feel angry and betrayed. I would find someone that wouldn't DREAM of sharing that with anyone but you. And the fact that she slept with someone else a few months after you broke up is just further proof that she isn't faithful to you and that you aren't her "everything." I'm so very sorry this happened to you, but find someone who sees you as all they want and more--you're worth it! :)

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    Once a cheater always a cheater.

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    • thegypsysailor
      10 years ago

      But if they weren't together, how is it cheating? The kiss, if that's all it was, is certainly no big thing, but it does seem that the OP's obsession w/ it all will kill the relationship, anyway.

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      • Nostal
        10 years ago

        I wish I could edit the post and change kiss to making out because I feel like people are envisioning it as something like a little peck on the cheek lol. The actual thing that worries me is that we've been together for 3 years without having sex yet when we went on that break within months she loses her virginity to someone who she only recently met. Btw, she told me she saw the guy making out with other girls so she pretty much just lost it to an asshole who didn't care about her.

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        • Aliceee93
          10 years ago

          If she really cared about you and getting you back she wouldn't sleep with someone else. Even if it was on a break.

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        • thegypsysailor
          10 years ago

          What a shame all the way around.
          It's up to you now where it goes. You were separated when she did whatever, so you really can't say she cheated, but if you can't get over it, the relationship is doomed.
          But remember one thing; she did not lie to you or break your trust. Your heart, perhaps, but you have no reason to believe she won't be faithful in the future.

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  • anti-hero
    10 years ago

    In the words of Ross "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    she sounds a little easy to me...

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  • Vern
    10 years ago

    Lose her man, It will take awhile but you'll get over it. "Just a kiss", yeah right, why did she even tell you that ? Her feeling guilty ? She probably lost her virginity overseas and fabricated the lie she lost it while you were on a break in case you did have sex and would know her cherry was popped. Use your head man, three years, no woopy and she gives it to someone she hardly knows, the trust is gone and that is numero uno in a relationship. I was married, she cheated on me, swore it was only "one time, that was it" You don't forgive, you try to forget, I took her back only to find out this cat down the street on welfare was climbing in my bed every day after I left for work. Sayanora sweetheart. Let it go, find a nice girl, they are out there, good luck.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Yeah they are out there, but they are damn few and far between, damn few and far between.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Try to get over it, I know its not easy but please try to get over it. It's over, it's been over...try to get over her and you can start by not getting back together.

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  • lala85
    10 years ago

    I think in order to really answer this I would need to know more, was this guy like a one night stand, a guy she really liked etc. If it was a one night stand, then I think is messed up she didn't give it up to you in three years and then screws some random dude.

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    • Nostal
      10 years ago

      The guy she made out with was the cousin of a friend she was staying with. Then the guy she had sex with was someone who the cousin introduced her to. But yes that's the thing that gets to me the most. By the looks of these comments the kiss was worse than the sex because we weren't together during that part but I don't understand how we were together for 3 years without sex and she meets this guy and within weeks or so has sex with him.

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      • lala85
        10 years ago

        To me, the sex is worst. Yes, I get it that she was not with you. But that would be a valid point if and only if she was not a virgin, and had not being with you THREE YEARS WITH NO SEX, and then screws someone she barely knows. I don't want to be a downer or negative, but it really sounds to me like she is taking you for granted, not valuing you the way you deserve.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I am sure that it was "just a kiss"

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with the fact that she had sex while you were on a break.

    The kiss is what you should concern yourself with. I wouldn't forgive the kiss.

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    • White___October
      10 years ago

      Why not? A kiss is not the end of the world, is it? I guess I can understand if it would have been a fuck. But a kiss means nothing.

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      • dom180
        10 years ago

        Sex can be meaningless as well. Whether it meant anything or not isn't the point.

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  • Shelbs
    10 years ago

    If it really was only a kiss then I think that can be forgiven. You would have been able to avoid her sleeping with another man had you not gotten so upset about it.

    But since you did, you technically can't hold her accountable for what she did when the two of you were on a break.

    If it upsets you that much, then leave her. You can't build a relationship on resentment.

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  • White___October
    10 years ago

    If you make such a big problem of something tiny like a kiss I think she doesn't deserve you. She can get better than you. I often kissed other guys while in a relationship to someone else, I don't even think about it. And if the guy wants to break up for that, fine. His problem, not mine.

    And yes, she has had sex while you were not in a relationship with her. I can't blame her for that, I would have done the same. If you want her you just have to accept that.

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