Should i feel guilty?

39% Normal
9 Comments

I am 33 and have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years. I have actually been sleeping with him off and on for about 5 years because I was first cheating on my then husband with him. My husband traveled a lot and stopped showing interest in me, I felt like I needed more, one thing led to another. It then became clear that I needed more than casual sex so I got a divorce and made this official. That is the back story, this is the question.

Shortly after we moved in together he told me that he loved everything about me, including my willingness to cheat when I felt like I needed it. I was offended at first because he was my only fling and I felt like he was calling me a slut. He went on to say that if I ever felt like I needed to cheat again that he was okay with it, as long as I told him and it was only casual no strings attached.

A few months later a really hot 27 year old at my office started flirting with me. I agreed with meet him for drinks after work and told my BF. After a few hours and many drinks I was feeling really good and enjoyed the attention I was getting. I probably would have never done this sober, but I sent my BF a text saying I was thinking about going home with this guy, he did offer after all. He replied saying "GO FOR IT!" So I did.

We hooked up again a few weeks later and again I told my BF everything. The 2nd time really didn't impress me so I cut it off. Now a guy at my gym has made it clear he is interested, we had lunch last week and ended up at his place, it was a blast. I didn't tell my BF at first, not sure why. Now we have met up for a second time and I realize that what makes it so exciting is that it is my little secret, there is something sexy about hiding it.

I do plan to tell him, but I want to let it play out first, so I don't lose the excitement like I did the first time. Should I feel bad? It really is no strings attached, I have 0 feelings for the guy, I don't even get along with him that well, but he is well built and a good f**k. I am not doing anything I don't have permission to do, I am just not telling my BF. Should I feel guilty?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 69 votes (27 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • Jweezee
    9 years ago | pl

    Hell yeah you should feel guilty. Your bf allows you to fuck other men, which is something I can barely wrap my head around, and you still find a way to abuse that. The only thing he's asking you to do is tell him. Are you really so selfish that you not only "need" to fuck other people while in a relationship but have to keep it a secret from somebody willing to allow you to do it?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    10
    10
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago | pl

    If you have so much interest in fucking other men, why do you even have a bf? I thought the point of marriage or a bf was to commit to the other person. With permission or not, your situation just doesn't make sense to me. Why not stay single?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    6
    6
      -
    • Lulilummu
      9 years ago

      From what i gather, that's exactly what she enjoys, the cheating. Considering there's an entire genre dedicated tot his, i assume she's not alone (netorare). I personally despise it but that hardly matters. If she stayed single, she'd be missing out on the, "I shouldn't be doing this" thrill.

      Same logic as rules are made to be broken. Can't cheat if you're single.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • Gspyder
    9 years ago

    I'm not going to get judgmental here, but you should go ahead and tell your boyfriend about it and ask if it would be okay to tell him afterwards from now on and explain that it's the thrill of it being secret that gets you off. It's always a good idea to be on the same page.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • dasugaknows
    9 years ago

    This story is one sided. We dont know the perspective of the bf. From the little you did tell us about your bf, im making the assumption that you cheating on him may turn him on. If this is true, you r depriving him of his fantasy by not telling him. The best thing would be to talk to him about his feelings about cheating. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • sloman
    9 years ago

    Just curious... are you good with your boyfriend going out and banging a bunch of women?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • deepthought33
    9 years ago

    There was something in it for your boyfriend as well for him to say "go for it". For example: if "his thing" is that he gets off on the idea of you being with other people then you'd be depriving him of the one simple aspect of this that was his. It certainly wasn't all about you and now you're making it so.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • beachmom
    5 years ago

    My husband loves the fact I like to fuck other men. I'm not sure if he'd care if I did it behind his back or not. I'm open about it being it doesn't bother him, but I don't always tell about it immediately. Sometimes it comes up as, "you're home late," and I tell oh I hooked up with ... again, forgetting I hadn't told him about last week yet. Either way, husband just likes the fact I'm spontaneous and basically love to be fucked by anyone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • paulrhight
    9 years ago

    I would give you permission too. I think every girl desires to have much sex and excitement as they want. No harm in that. In fact you could have multi boyfriends at one time. As long as the girl is ok with me having sex anytime I want too. I would love to hear all about the experience and excitement. GO for it girl..

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1