She can be the sweetest yet she doesn't care or trust me?

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5 Comments

I just started dating this girl who started as an one night stand. We decided to go for long distance after two months of dating, as she had to study abroad. I'm her first proper and real boyfriend but her past is a myriad of men, crazy sex, breaking points, celibacy, etc. She's only 18 and she seemed like she's lived longer than me (26), you can tell by her way of thinking that she's some sort of hybrid between ex wild child turned wise and mad genius.

Anyway, I feel as if although she is sweet as pie while texting, it's almost as if she does it out of some reason but I feel at the same time, she doesn't care. Such as if I take long to reply, she'll go "Why won't *my name* talk to me?" Yet it feels like she doesn't care! I know how cold she can get, we did start as an one night stand.

It's as if she's waiting for me to cheat or something, like she doesn't trust me. She was genuinely surprised that I told her I missed her although she's been texting me that everyday. She even told me at one point:
"You're not mine. I don't feel it as such. But I am yours." And proceeds to sending some loving-jokey sticker.

I don't know what's she's thinking! She can be so sweet and almost clingy but there's something lurking behind, what if she just ups and leaves, disappears? Runs away from me?

Why is she like this? Is this normal??! How to make her truly love me and trust me?

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Based on 16 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    She sounds like she has some personal issues that could be solved (over time) with a therapist.

    Like someone else said, the way she's acting could very well be because of her past relationships and such.

    There's not really much you can do about this. You can try to help her and support her, but only she has to decide for herself if she wants to get better or not etc.

    Since you're already wondering "why is she like this?" and the like, I don't think you'll be able to last much longer with her. I mean, it takes great devotion and patience to deal with a person that's like her. The things she deals with is above your pay grade.

    And I get it, but trust me, it would be best for both of you if the two of you broke up. You have to think of yourself first and all that.

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  • adiaphorousaardvark
    8 years ago

    Dude, I've experienced something similar, except the girl insisted on texting and I insisted on talking. In your case, she's probably a little paranoid as a result of previous relationships. I'd just let it go. People often act in ways that their significant others do not understand, especially early on. As y'all date longer, she will establish more trust.

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  • ______________
    8 years ago

    One night standers aren't keepers mate.

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  • PinkHairedFreak
    8 years ago

    Sometimes it doesn't make sense to you, but it looks like certain stuff from her past is influencing her behavior. Over time, she will probably start acting more "normally" as she relaxes into the relationship. Those first few months can bring out a little crazy in everyone especially since you don't really know just how committed the other person is quite yet. (Ths is why you try not to introduce them to your family at this time.) I think it started out similar with my last relationship and that lasted a pretty good year and a half. I'd stick it out for another couple months to see what happens if you really like this girl.

    On the other hand, I'm not sure how you can build trust if you're away. Distance is really rough on brand new couples. Tbh I don't think it would be worth it if you're away from her more than a month or two because then you've spent just as much time away as you have been together. It only prolongs the new couple stage since it is so difficult to build that trust needed early on in your relationship.

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  • handsignals
    8 years ago

    It's called being 'pussy wipped'.

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