Sexual thoughts only provoke angry thoughts.
Thinking about sex only makes me feel angry. It is because I have had mostly negative experiences with sex and relationships. I am aware this is going to cause me problems in life. Even when I jack off I can have a hard time because it provokes anger and violent thoughts of murdering and beating people. I dont want to be this way and I dont want to be a misogynist, but I dont know how to feel at peace with these thoughts. I do not think I can have a healthy relationship because not only do I feel emotionally disconnected from others but I have angry and hateful thoughts towards them even though I do not wish to be a violent or hateful person.