Sexual orientation question

9 Comments

As a teenager and during puberty I remember that I did not really know exactly what if anything I was attracted to sexually. Then as I got older, I started really being drawn to women more and more but had no success. I really wanted to but was unable to get women at all until I was in my 20s. However, once I got into my 20s it seemed that something else was coming through that I had been scared of all along. I started to sometimes think about men. I haven't really been interested in any actual men in real life, but possibly slightly with this one guy but, I never acted on it though. I have definitely been very interested in a lot of women. I did manage to finally have sex with for the first time with a random woman I met at a bar, but for some reason couldn't get a boner. The other thing that has made me wonder is that I have always been different from other guys in many ways on a psychological level. A lot of times, not all the time, I feel sort of feminine in a way and get very upset over little things pretty easily. Not in the sense of being dissatisfied with my gender but on a psychological level feeling 'different' from other guys and feeling a need to express myself differently. I'm guessing this is probably a sign of possibly being gay and not realizing it. Also, to me, the idea of being gay has been very scary to me and only recently have I begun to see that it maybe would not be the worst thing in the world if I were. Over the course of years, I would very slightly start thinking about men at times but the idea literally terrified me and I denied any possibility of this being real.

Gay 11
Straight 13
Confused 26
Other 23
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Comments ( 9 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    First and foremost, a lot of guys cannot get a boner if they have had a lot of alcohol. Second, I can imagine you were pretty damn nervous about performing for the first time, and THAT is not very conducive to getting a boner either.
    Your whole scenario is pretty damn normal and I do not see you as gay, just a little bit of a slow starter in the hetero game.
    Forget the gay stuff and just concentrate on what turns you on and things will work themselves out. There's nothing wrong with going with a hooker or two to get you started, you know. It just might really help your confidence level and it would be a whole lot of fun, as well. Good luck.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      the thing that makes me wonder is that the gay stuff does turn me on too but women do also

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      • (s)aint
        9 years ago

        You don't have to label yourself and you can be bisexual and enjoy both. I suggest experimenting some and getting comfortable in your own skin.

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  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    I don't understand why people have to put so many labels on sexuality... I'm just into what I'm into, and what I'm into is subject to change.

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    You cant have sex without a boner???

    The 2 things a Woman says when you give up on "trying to thumb in a softy".

    1. It's OK sweetie, we can just cuddle.

    2. It's because I'm fat *runs to bathroom crying*

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  • WonderGuy0103
    9 years ago

    Sounds to me like you're either bisexual or mostly gay. And sounds like you are scared of your same-sex attraction. Don't be, nothing to be ashamed of and nothing wrong with it. If you grew up with homophobic values just throw it all out the window. Society has changed and is changing for the better. Heck, gays can get married in freakin' Utah now! Don't be scared, just be who you are. :-)

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    9 years ago

    I'll say that I kind of resolved this issue since I posted this on here. I guess it doesn't really matter what I am because in a way I'm not really either. I'll just see what evolves over the years and in a way it doesn't really matter what I end up doing in the end.

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  • Nick'sTardis
    9 years ago

    dude just start watching porn and masterbaiting at the same time then go bang a girl or to

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Bisexual or bicurious. If you're attracted to men, you can't be straight.

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