Sexual incompatibility?

80% Normal
2 Comments

High school student, have been dating a girl my age for almost two years. We're both still virgins as far as I know. For the past year she's been saying how she's going to talk to her mom about having sex (She made a promise when she was younger) As my peers and close friends start to have sex, I can't help but resent her and myself and ask what's wrong with me that she won't have sex? She claims to want to but her actions have never reflected that. It's finally at a point where I'm tired of even going on with this assumption that one day she'll finally discuss it with her mother. It's incredibly frustrating to be dating someone who doesn't appear to share your lust for intimacy and closeness. Also doesn't help that her medication lowers her libido, which I already felt didn't match mine. Nothing more depressing than feeling that your partner isn't attracted to you. Not helping my self esteem issues that her doing anything with me feels like a chore.

Is this relationship normal? Should I talk to her? Break up with her? I love her, but initimacy is an important part of a functioning relationship. An intimacy which has been absent for quite some time.

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 5 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Spankz
    9 years ago

    You have to consider how she feels, man. Don't be that guy who breaks up with his girlfriend, because she won't sleep with you yet. She lives in a day and age where virginity is a sacred thing and as a young girl it is considered taboo to lose it. A lot of young ladies are scared to lose their virginity because a) they worry that the boy will leave them afterwards, b) they're worried about disappointing their family, should they find out and c) society tells them that they are whores if they enjoy engaging in sexual acts. When I was in grade 12 I was still a virgin when I started dating my current boyfriend. I wanted to have sex with him so badly, he turned me on by just smiling at me. Did I ever show that? No, I acted uninterested in sex. Why? I was scared. It's a very unknown place for a girl. So, I acted like I didn't want it so that it didn't accidentally happen. Eventually I fell out of the whole scared-little-girl phase and we had sex. Yes, it was awesome and no it wasn't scary like I thought it was, but your girlfriend may not know that. I suggest that you talk to her and I mean REALLY talk to her. Sit her down face-to-face and talk everything out. Ask her if she is turned on by you, if she thinks sexually of you, etc, etc. Also take into consideration that having the sex-talk with your parents is not the easiest thing in the world to do and she may be putting it off because she is uncomfortable with it.

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  • soccer2
    13 years ago

    Intimacy is very important. But u need to talk to her. She may be nervous or not ready for sex. But that doesn't mean u can't still be intimate. Ask her about being able to use your hands to please eachother or your mouths. U just really need to talk to her. Have a really good one on one conversations and voice what frustrations u have. And if u love her then u will wait

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