Sex drive almost dead at 43, can't get hard

33% Normal

I cannot get hard or turned on anymore. I have no interest in dating sites or to hook up with anybody who may be wanting sex. The only people I have any interest in being around are with those where sex would never be part of the picture, like there's a couple of elderly friends I hang around with (and I play piano in a nursing home). Also, I've watched porn just to try to get aroused or hard, but I just can't. At all. I only look at the woman's breasts too in the porn videos becaused I'm now completely grossed out and disgusted by private parts.

I also have other health problems which may be to explain for this, different medications I've taken. High blood pressure, pain meds. To try to regain any arousal and to see if I could get an erection, I've also tried Viagra and a few different herbal things, none of them worked. I haven't had an erection in a long time. I'm going to see the doctor about this. I'm just posting here because I'm curious if there are any others out there who've lost their drive by 40 something.

Voting Results

33% Normal

Based on 12 votes (4 yes)

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Comments ( 33 )

CozmoWank

5 years ago

More than likely it's the medications you're taking. Are you on any antidepressants or antianxiety meds? Those are frequent culprits in killing a persons sex drive.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I'm not taking antidepressants, but I am taking opiate pain pills and blood pressure medication. I first got high blood pressure at 31, my reading was 160/120, who knows how high it would be now if I stopped taking my blood pressure pills. There have been a couple of times where I seriously felt I was starting to have a stroke (once last week, and another time about 3 weeks ago (I don't think it was an actual mini stroke, cause there was no numbness on one side of my body)), anyway I know I seem to have a whole host of health aliments going on besides my lack of sex drive. I'm seeing my doctor next week about all of it.
  
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  - CozmoWank
    
    5 years ago
    
    Speaking to your doctor is the best thing to do. He will give better advice than strangers on the Internet. Good luck, hope it all works out.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Thanks. I'm seeing a doctor. I'm just asking on here too because I'm curious if there are others besides me who have had the same issues, and I've wondered, as this site is called, is it normal?
      
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- Mrown
  
  5 years ago
  
  Even if he does take antidepressants, I'm pretty sure it's not it. I'm on antidepressants and my sex drive is higher than it ever was.
  
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  - CozmoWank
    
    5 years ago
    
    Side effects vary. You may be one of the lucky few uneffected.
    
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Nicole20

5 years ago

It's most likely the pain meds. Your doc should be able to steer you right. Good luck.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Yeah, it could be. I'm seeing my doctor next week.
  
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  - Nicole20
    
    5 years ago
    
    Best of luck. I hope you get everything working again AND stay pain free as best you can.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Thanks 🙂. I'll try.
      
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  - WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    
    5 years ago
    
    The pain meds numb your dick. Try fucking when you are halfway in withdrawal
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      My drive is still almost gone, either way.
      
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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

Definitely ask your doctor!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I am, I'm seeing my doctor after New year's
  
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leggs91200

5 years ago

Are you married?

You see, they have every explanation for E.D. except the one that is most often the REAL reason - being grossed out by women our age.

They talk about blood pressure, meds, stress, etc...
Perhaps if they came out and told middle age men the truth they would say, "Sir, your wife is a lard ass eye sore. The human brain just does not get turned on by that".
BUT instead they give him pills to make his shit work involuntarily.

It is true that as people get older, they have more control over their sex drive but it is difficult to get an erection when the woman in his life looks like Roseanne Barr.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  No, I'm not married, I'm not seeing anybody.
  
  I agree about the part on my health problems, blood pressure meds, and my high blood pressure itself over the years (I was first diagnosed with blood pressure of 160/120 when I was 31, 12 years ago. And high blood pressure can damage the way blood flows through your vessels over time, including the blood vessels which causes erections.
  
  I don't agree with the part about just being grossed out by women my age. I'm grossed out by private parts of women of any age. I'm disgusted by all private parts on anyone now, and private parts of men too, there's someone I told about my being grossed out by women's body parts, and he assumed that I must be gay. No, I'm not gay since I'm grossed out by body parts of women and men. I've become asexual. And when I was younger, I was turned on by women, but never men.
  
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  - leggs91200
    
    5 years ago
    
    It isn't about being gay or not. Probably just health issues. Reproductive organs on men or women are not a pretty sight really.
    
    I still think though that part of E.D. in general has to do with the horrid selection of women in their 40's. But of course medicine, media, etc choose to ignore that.
    
    If it were women having a similar problem, the world would blame men instead of health.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      That's true. Yes, reproductive organs on males and females just disgust me now. And I'm no longer watching porn also. I was only watching it to try and get hard and aroused, but not only was I getting absolutely no success with that, but I was getting grossed out by it too. I've accepted now my lack of sex drive and impotence, but still concerned about other possible underlying illness.
      
      I'm seeing my doctor because I may have some other health issues where 1) my lack of drive is one of the symptoms, and 2) I've been getting other health aliments such as dizziness, weakness, and serious headaches where I thought I may even have an aneurysm (I have a post on the latter concern). I could have weakened and unhealthy blood vessels from years of high blood pressure (I've had readings of 170/120 before). I've had kidney failure also, I been in hospital for that before.
      
      Oh well, that's life sometimes I guess
      
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      5 years ago
      
      The male body can be really fascinating to look at ^^
      
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WeirdGuyFromTheSouth

5 years ago

Also you should get your testosterone checked. It sounds like youre really low.

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WeirdGuyFromTheSouth

5 years ago

Whatever it is the opiates arent helping

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WeirdGuyFromTheSouth

5 years ago

Have you tried watching videos of women shooting milk out of their buttholes? That tends to get some people going. Not that id know but just saying...

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Buttholes and private parts gross me out now. Not interested, sorry.
  
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  - WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    
    5 years ago
    
    Haha got it
    
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raisinbran

5 years ago

Ask the 83 year old who posted here last week about still getting hard.

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Columbusbiguy

5 years ago

Im fortunate,im in my 40's and have no problem getting hard and staying that way. AND, ive discivered my kinks as i have got older. You still got a lot of life left man, hope you get it corrected.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Thanks. I'll see what the doctor says.
  
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kelili

5 years ago

43 is still so young. My husband will turn 40 next year. :|

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Yes, 43 is young for this, I have several health problems going on.
  
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Mrown

5 years ago

i dunno, im not over 40 but the fact that even viagra didn't work doesn't seem normal for your age

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Yes. I know it isn't normal. I have been in denial about it, and most guys probably would, some guys I'm sure would look at a problem like this as the end of their manhood. Especially if Viagra and other sex pills haven't worked. I'm seeing my doctor, but there's no appointments available until after New year's now.
  
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barefoot_on_the_sand

5 years ago

Find a hobby. Sex is overestimated.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  You mean overrated? I agree, especially since I'm grossed out by sexual body parts. I do have other hobbies, I play piano and I love old films, I've learned alot of songs by ear on piano from some of those films.
  
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Sex drive almost dead at 43, can't get hard