Self harm: to tell or not to tell

I used to self-harm, and it took me four years of doing it before I ever told my mother. My reason for telling her was simple: I wanted help. But if you have already managed to stop, you really need to think about the reason why telling her came into your mind. If it's something that you would say out of anger to "get back at her", then I suggest not doing so, as it won't make the situation any better.

What I'm pretty much trying to say is that you should think about the pros and cons of telling her, your reasons for whether you should or shouldn't tell her, and what would most likely be the outcome of each scenario. After all, it's ultimately up to you to decide. Good luck! =]

A TRUTH THAT WORKS FOR ME

Always consider your TRUE INTENT before doing or saying ANYTHING.

If your intent will help the greater good, then it is worth doing.

If your intent will harm the greater good, then it is not worth doing.

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| mightymouse |
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I think the first thing you ought to ask yourself is what brought up the idea of telling your mom this. What would telling her that you used to cause self-harm solve? It might make her view her parenting style differently and make her doubt herself as a mom. If you feel that all this bottled up feelings inside you need to be told to her then tell her because you need to have it lifted off of your shoulders. But as you said a alot of time has passed and seriously what would it solve? And you "don't see any immediate risk of slipping back into it" so if I was you I wouldn't tell her, but hey by all means if you feel the need to its your life. And good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope this helped.

I think it all depends on the reasoning for telling your mom. Are you doing it to purposely hurt her or are you doing it because your finally ready to open up and need her support.
Also I don't think it was that she wasn't paying attention when you were a teen. You didn't tell her that something was bothering you so how was she to know? I have a teenage daughter and she is a very private person. I tell her all of the time that if she has an issue she can come to me with anything no matter what it is. But parents learn real quick that if we push to hard our teen will shut down and not say anything at all.
Even the best parent can't read minds, and if she did ask you if something was wrong and you didn't say anything how could she have helped you?
In short you have accomplished something great by overcoming self-harm. Hopefully it has made you a stronger person. Hopefully you have learned from it and can be strong enough to move on with your life. Telling your mother can have consequences that you may not be ready to deal with. Good luck with everything.

Remember that there are always consequences to your actions, but if you are willing to accept the potential consequences you may face for telling her, then tell her.

if you tell her, she'll be sympathetic at first, but later on, she'll use it against you. Only a fool tells everything about themselves.

I used to slice myself as a teen too. Although later in life covered my arms in tattoo sleeves and my parents? Even if they did notice something they never said anything. So why qould I even mention the subject? I'm not embarrassed by it, but it's ancient history, so what's the point?

I think that at this point the only effect would be to make your mum feel bad and doubt herself. She could go questioning everything about her past and could eventually downward spiral. Another option would be that she takes it well and it doesn't really effect her, but if you want to tell her, I imagine she's the type that'll break down over this kind of thing. Try not telling her unless you really feel the need to - you don't want to bottle up your feelings if they're very strong, no good can come of that

Let her know, but don't try to make her feel guilty. Just be forgiving.

Dude, you hurted yourself. nobody knew, even if your mum doesnt know abut this then why are you so eager to tell her and make her feel bad. so just keep it secret by itself.

I wouldn't tell my mum-I wouldn't tell anyone for that matter. I'm a pretty thick-skinned, private person and everyone around me tends to worry more than i need them to about me. If i cut, it's for my own reasons. the people around me don't have anything to do with it, so i wont go bother them.

Current cutter right here yall. But dude you should like at least tell your best friend like I did :)

I wouldn't tell her if I were you, self harmed too quite a bit a few years ago what she dosen't know won't hurt her, In my case I could stop harming if I wanted it's not like I had to, if you feel you can stop on your own then don't tell her because sometimes we involve our parents in things that they do not need to know that'll hurt them and get things blown out of proportion in the end it will make it as if you have this HUGE problem when it was something you could've dealt with on your own. You are in your late teens if you were 12 or something then again that'd be another story. Goodluck!

I think if you tell anyone about it, it should probably be a therapist who can help you figure out your motivations then and now.

I used to self harm, and not for emotional reasons. I didn't care much about hiding them. I stopped when I realized the scars being left.

I would play it safe and not tell her, but in the end it's your choice.

Go ahead and do it, just not on the hip. NOT! THE! HIP!