Scared of sex.

80% Normal
5 Comments

I'm 22. Male. Apparently (according to girls I've been with) very attractive, charming, interesting, funny etc etc but - despite my best efforts - a massive virgin..

I say "despite my best efforts"..

Deep down (not that deep!)I've always been shy. I went to an all boys school which I hated and hardly knew any girls when I was that age. I didn't kiss for the first time till I was 18 and at college. That's about as far as it goes - I've kissed plenty of girls since. Touchy, feely, topless, sleepy, all sorts - but no sex. Or for that matter oral sex. It seems that even though I'm really rather up for it - I'm bloody TERRIFIED of having a girl grab a hold of me down there.

It's a good size and shape.

The only thing that puts me off is that I have two marks - one at the base and one near the top which are kind of lighter in colour than the rest - by that I mean it's almost as if there's no pigment. The mark near the base is also near where my pubes are growing and some of the hairs in the mark's area are white as well...

Now I KNOW this is not normal but I don't know what it could be - and naturally I'm way to apprehensive to go to a doctor to check it out.

It's been around since I was about 17 and I blame it a lot which you'd think would give me enough of a reason to go see a doctor but I still can't...

It's affecting me a lot mentally - This one time when I was about 18 - not long after the kiss actually, though with a different girl, I had had a crush on this girl for months and months and one night at a club she just said enough and was enough and she kissed me - we went back to her place but then I got scared she would freak out when she saw it and so I made up some stupid excuse and basically ran for my life!

Now I know I'm totally in the 'friend zone' with her - which sucks because I still see her a lot - but there are plenty of other girls out there who are interested - so why can't I just get on with it!

Answers on a postcard.

Or this - either will do.

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 61 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • peterr
    10 years ago

    You tell your girlfriends that the marks indicate Start and Finish and everything will be okay.

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  • manantiel25
    11 years ago

    All lady's are different to me it would'nt bother me, to another girl it would. If u hate it that much turn off the lights and then have sex hey its in the dark =). Girls would understand if u just told them u were born that way and did'nt get pigment there it's not like there perfect either we all get old one day anyways.

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  • theAnomilyGuy
    13 years ago

    That's ashame man. I'm sorry that some random pigment has mentally affected you in one of the worst ways possible aside from retardation.

    I'm being serious, things that affect confidence are real, and they suck.

    You can turn your insecurity into a strength though by purposefully telling a girl about it in order to increase her curiosity in it. Just make sure you paint a non-frightening picture when you describe it, tone it down persay.

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  • arzer
    13 years ago

    from how you described it, i believe that the absence of pigments in parts of the area is actually albinism, which is completely normal. considering your upbringing i would say that your fear of sex is completely normal and you should know that sex is a natual part of life, and there is no valid reason to be afraid of it-- as long as you use contraceptive methods.

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  • [Old Memory]
    15 years ago

    You can be in the "friend zone" and still have sexual relations, I do. Its all about comfort and openness on both sides. You can have a girl friend and when the moments is right have sex and still be good friends if not better after. Sex is a social lubrication it should help build stronger bonds if done correctly. Setup an intimate meeting place and don't be afraid to arouse her through touch/words; progressively you'll be able to reach that place again with her.

    Regarding the pigmentation, i would see a doctor, think of it as a challenge. Ones you do go through with it you will feel much more confident about yourself. You have to work on your insecurities, going to the doctor can be your first step. If you dont overcome this insecurity you will be setting yourself up for failure and running away when the moment arrives.

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