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I can never reach an orgasm let alone close to one when masturbating. I am a girl. I don't really know what to do as I am scared of hurting myself. All I do is rub myself down there. I wanna stick something up myself but I'm scared that will hurt. I'm a virgin. Is it normal to feel this way?
try gently playing with your nipples and clit, if you do want to put something up there I'd recommend getting an actual dildo (preferably small, maybe with a low vibrate setting), don't shove just anything up there. Oh and a lubricant would probably be handy.
If you get the vibrator and the clit action still isn't quite working (but you can feel yourself getting kind of close) try putting the vibrator on your clit GENTLY. you may need that extra boost.
Honestly? It's sick. Not normal at all for someone who is sexually and mentally all right.
I guess you have problems not only with masturbation but also with comprehension... I think it is pretty clear - you described your feelings and then asked if it is normal to feel that way. I answered that it is sick to this question - i.e. it is sick to feel the way you do.
Masturbating and wanting to masturbate is great. It is sick to:
- be scared of masturbating
- never reach an orgasm, never be close to one when masturbating
- not know what to do when masturbating
- be scared of hurting oneself during masturbation
- be scared that it will hurt
All in all - feel the way you do, be so scared of masturbation.
i have to partially disagree with some of the list.
i can't really call it 'sick" to not know what to do when masturbating. to me that's kinda neutral. it's a bit of a learned action - there's some instinct but there's also a lot that one doesn't know without trying.
and being scared of pain isn't weird either. for normal clitoral masturbation sure there's not going to be pain, but the OP was also talking about penetration - and for a virgin that CAN hurt. maybe some virgins don't feel pain when the hymen is broken, but not everyone is like that. sure in the romance books the pain lasts for a fraction of a second or she's so wet it just slides in and she has an instant orgasm with rainbows and uni... well no, no unicorns cos the heroine wouldn't be a virgin anymore... but still that's fantasy sex. reality sex with penetration can include pain.
that's also why i normally recommend that people wait until they're ready to handle it - not just physically but mentally and emotionally.
Sorry, if my comment wasn't sensitive enough. I can see that you are unhappy because of your problem and want to overcome it which is great. I hope it will happen soon.
Sometimes, our feelings and fears are irrational - don't blame yourself for that. We may have feelings that we don't want to have but they are still here for us to deal with them. You could try to do it step by step instead of trying to solve the problems all at once. I'd suggest making masturbation as pleasurable as possible without the aim of orgasm first. At the beginning, you could stimulate only your clit - not inserting anything into your vagina or you could stimulate your clit + the opening of your vagina without going deeper. I suppose this way is less likely to induce anxiety in you and it can really feel good. It is pointless to want to insert something into your vagina at all cost when it scares you – at this stage it is perfectly OK to do it without it. Actually, most women start masturbating without it – especially when they are virgins. Masturbate when you feel aroused – it increases the likelihood that it will feel good. It can help to focus your mind on a sexual fantasy or something which is sexually arousing to you instead of thinking about the process of masturbation. Do what feels good and not what you think is “right“ way of masturbation. When it goes well, you can gradually insert your fingers deeper and deeper into your vagina - to the point it is pleasurable, not scary. It may take some time (several weeks / months?) to do it gradually but it is worth it.
will it hurt? probably the first time.
i recommend going to an adult store to ask for help on picking out a product - they may have something that helps with clitoral stimulation, or may be able to provide you with a dildo that can break your hymen with less pain.
Might be a bit extreme, but a female friend had me do this to her to overcome her "difficulties". Get a good friend to tie you down and masturbate you. Without the ability to stop it being done to you, you have no choice but to let it overcome you.
If this is not possible, keep on rubbing, bear down and keep saying to yourself "keep going, keep going". No matter what happens, do not stop.