Revenge on telemarketers

I had this with a double glazing company. When they repeatedly phoned asking if I needed double glazing, I repeatedly told them no, I live in an igloo.

When receiving this kind of call, a friend politely excuses himself and says he's got something on the hob and he'll be back in a moment. Then he just leaves them hanging. After ten minutes, he starts whistling just to let them know he's still there and that he's ignoring them.

For postal junk, another friend uses pre-paid envelopes to post all their mail back to them (and all the post that's come from other companies too).

And just occasionally, if I'm in the mood, I'll play with them.

Q: How many children do you have?
A: Define "have".

Q: How many children do you have?
A: Two and a half.

Q: How many children do you have?
A: Minus one. I'm a child donor.

Q: A child donor?
A: Yeah, want one? Lend me your wife for an evening, then.

Q: What is your job?
A: Pretty crappy.

Q: No, what is your occupation.
A: Oh, my house.

Q: No, you misunderstand. What is your role?
A: Cheese and ham, thank you.

Q: What do you DO for a living?
A: I live.

Q: What is your job title?
A: Mister.

Q: What do you do for work?
A: Work.

Q: How much do you earn?
A: Surely you mean how many. Currency is a discrete measure, not a continuous one.

Q: What is your salary?
A: It's how much I earn.

Q: I think you aren't taking this seriously.
A: Wait, I'm getting a message from the other side. It's a lot of ghosts laughing at you. They don't think I'm taking it seriously, either. By the way, is there anyone you want to speak to who has passed?

Q: My goldfish (this is them trying to be funny).
A: I'm channelling your goldfish now. He says, "Get a proper job".

Go to the police,make them pinpoint his or her location,ask them if they already got them and who the suspects of the intimidatory calls are,if they give you a number or the names,get on yiur car and start tracking them down with a revolver under your seat,and a chainsaw on the backseat.As you finally find them out,put on a leather mask,take the chainsaw,turn it on and start raising hell.Remember to keep the gun in your pocket just in case one of them tries running away or putting too much distance between you and him,then cut their heads off,put them in plastic bags and the corpses in the back of your pick up truck.Take them to the ranch and dispose of the bodies as you please saving the best parts for eating,and start working on the heads to shrunken them out.
If they were traveling onto a car make sure you set it on fire or throw it down a cliff.Keep going to the police asking them if they got the guys who were harrassing you through the phone on a daily basis,telling them that the phone calls stopped but you still fear for your life.They will put you on the witness protection program and sent you to some secure location where you will be free to start it all over again.Knowing that,the bodies will never be found,and,you will not receive anymore bothersome phonecalls. When the pokice finds the car,they will assume they have got kidnapped,file a missing person case,investigate the places and people they usually hanged out with,and eventually blame it on some street gang they happened to be at war with.
Solved.

Well, I quite agree with Ono. I think reporting them is the only way we could try to stop them. It doesn't always work, but it's the only help from the authority. Or, if you could track down the numbers, maybe suing them will be better, like what I read at http://www.whycall.me/news/consumer-wins-massive-229500-robocall-lawsuit-against-time-warner-cable/. I personally done playing with them. It didn't stop them, but it makes them know that my number's live.

Most telemarketers are queers.

If you go to the do not call register sitethey hae a "contact us" number where you can report the issue

If they're asking about windows or doors, tell them you don't have any ;)

What I always do is I just ramble at them. I'll tell them I'm interested then when they ask me for example, how many children I have, I'll go into detailed explanations of all the births. And when they ask if I live with anyone else I'll start blubbing about a recent breakup :p it's hilarious because they can't hang up so they just have to listen

Wow dappled. Did your grandfather tell you all those 'jokes'?

When they ring, just get their name, time they called and who they are representing and then report them. Simple.

Ever seen 40 year old virgin? If you didn't then watch it and if you do what is done in that movie I doubt you will hear anything from them...