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Lets say that you have a fairly accepted fetish ( ie: bondage, mastochism, feet...) and your S/O knows about it but does not have that same fetish. Would you give up said fetish, find a new partner, or do something else.
| Give up fetish | 17 | |
| Other | 20 | |
| Break up | 6 |
Would need more information to give an answer worth writing or reading.
From what you did provide it sounds like a fundamental incompatibility issue. For example, in my case, any woman that I'm in a relationship with must be bi-sexual and have an active interest in group sex (threesomes and more), anything else is a deal breaker. I'm lucky enough to be able to get what I want and when circumstances change I go looking again.
In your situation, it really comes down to how important your fetish is and how flexible your friend is about the various solutions.
It's funny. I've had this exact discussion with my partner. He has a slight fetish that I don't personally share...it's nothing too extreme, so It doesn't bother me in the slightest, and I'm perfectly willing to try it out with him.
However, he's assured me that if I ever decided that I was uncomfortable or turned off by it, that it wouldn't matter to him in the slightest. I know that he values the relationship over something small that happens to turn him on, and I think that's true for most people.
Having said that, I think there are degrees of fetishism. I've seen documentaries about people with very specific fetishes that literally find it impossible to be turned on whatsoever unless they are indulging in some specific activity or object or body part. I would imagine that, for someone who has such an extreme fetish, giving it up for another person would be tantamount to giving up sex altogether, and I don't imagine that working out...
Depends on how close and how well our relationship is tracking in other areas. Sex isn't a be-all and end-all for me.