Re: "coming out as gay"

22 Comments

whose sexuality do you REALLY want to know about? is it necessary to be out in every aspect of one's life.

Choose your comfort level

I only want/need to know about family 1
I only want/need to know about very close friends 6
I'm comfortable and happy to know about anyone I know socially 34
I'm comfortable and happy to know about co-workers 3
I'm comfortable and happy to know about complete strangers 17
I dont beleive in IMPOSING sexual information on others. 19
I beleive not coming out everywhere is a cop out 5
Everyone needs to decide for themselves with no pressure 95
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 22 )
  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    If someone wants to tell me, I'm happy with knowing. If they don't, I don't really mind. It's their business who they tell, not my business to discover their secrets.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    8
    8
  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    I don't advertise the fact that I'm bisexual. No one needs to know so I don't tell anyone unless they are truly curious and ask me. Only my close friends and family know. Other than that, it's my own personal business.

    I also feel like some people that aren't accepting of that sort of thing might not feel comfortable around me (like my moms friends) if I told them so I just don't mention it. It's more for their comfort rather than mine because if people do know, I couldn't care less. I am who I am.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Vetterman
      12 years ago

      ^ to me, this is basically how i think that any sexual orientation should be. Why am i wrong?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • NothingxCrazy
        12 years ago

        I think you are in the right with your opinion.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Vetterman
    12 years ago

    to me, i dont go around advertising that i am straight. If someone is gay, its thier business, unless one of us is attempting to start a relationship with each other. When it comes to family, the first time you introduce your date, they will know. So why does everybody make a big deal of "outing"?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • flutterhigh
      12 years ago

      lolwut?

      Heterosexuality pervades every aspect of society, so much so that it as seen as the norm. Unless it is somehow "obvious" using one's finely honed Gaydar (available at Radioshack for $8.99), one is assumed straight until proven gay. For reference, watch nearly any movie or TV show ever created.

      You and I may not be able to comprehend why it's such a big deal, but to a gay kid growing up in a society that suppresses or even actively persecutes them, guess what? It's a big fucking deal for them.

      Be glad you don't have to deal with it, but don't trivialize their struggle.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • peelover
        12 years ago

        i did have to deal with growing up gay thank you. <BR><BR><BR>thats why i asked this question. i just dont feel the need for everybody to know MY sexuality whether they like it or not.<BR><BR>so why do some gay guys feel that its MANDATORY and that i am some kind of traitor to the cause for living a private life with my partner. <BR><BR>obviouslty some people figure it out but we are not trying to HIDE. we just aren't actively announcing it

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • RomeoDeMontague
          10 years ago

          Thats your own business. People who want to flaunt it are ignorant. You should not have to brag about being gay or being straight. If you feel like coming out go ahead and do it. If you don't want to don't. People need to learn to give others some personal space. Not everyone wants to spill everything to everyone. You have the right to keep some stuff to yourself. Not everyone is an open book. Not everyone should be expected to be either. Some people are just more private than others. I have stuff I don't talk about either. Not that I wont tell people if they ask but if not I don't feel like sharing it. So for anyone who tells you otherwise tell them to fuck off.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
        • Star911
          12 years ago

          Look I have a brother that gay and he only tells the people that he wants to know why not try the same and see if it's any easer that way
          Hope this helps

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
      • nagasonavimana
        12 years ago

        Shit...I need to get me one of those Radio Shack Gaydar Detect-mo-trons. Hankies just don't work anymore (Dark Gray on the Left, baby).

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
      • Vetterman
        12 years ago

        i dont mean to trivialize what they go through, i would not want to have to suffer it. Being Christian on boards like this give me just a small taste of what it is like (I admit SMALL), and i know they do not choose it. What i dont understand is why so many of them make it such a big deal to tell everybody they are.
        For an example, i have a friend from work who i invited to join me with her date, for a very big event several hunred miles away. She then, after about 3 years of friendship, mentioned to me her date was a woman, would i feel confortable?. (i did, we all enjoyed it). To me, this is basically how it should be done, when its appropiate, to the people involved, just mentioned. Not to tell everybody in the world and force the subject. I know that i have rejected friends for doing drugs, and for being a felon (due to the crime and time since the act), and I have been rejected due to who I am. I agree they dont have a choice in it, and i know rejection hurts, but i still dont see why they have to make a hugh deal about their sexuality at times when it isnt relative. To go to a demonstration in favor of gay marriage (guess what, i am in favor of that also), i could understand. But, to broadcast it as so many do, just doesnt make sense to me.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • nagasonavimana
          12 years ago

          You are very forward thinking and a testament to your religion and it's capacity for unconditional love.

          To answer your question, a lot of us are hyper-sensitive, living in a staunch hetero-normative society as we do. Wanting to be socially acceptable is hardwired into the human psyche; existing outside those bounds according to society tends to put one on the defensive.

          There are, however, plenty of people within the QTBLG (the reversal is so much better) who don't make a big deal out of it at all (and some of us , sad to say, enjoy that moment of surprise on another's face when they find out).

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    "I dont beleive in IMPOSING sexual information on others. "

    personally i don't see why people just can't keep their traps shut about their sex lives.

    maybe it's just me but ... sometimes i just don't give a flying crap about what someone else is doing in the bedroom.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    If you are gay you are gay. Why the fuck is that any of my business. If someone feels the need to tell me or confines in me well glad they trust me. I wont judge them for something so petty. If my family is gay "Good for them"! if my friends are gay "Good for them".

    If the person I am dating turns gay "Well we have a problem". Besides that no I do not care. Unless your gayness is directly effecting me which it probably wouldn't I don't see why its any one else problem. If you want to come out go ahead if not don't.

    Its your personal business but if you do choose to come out you should not be judged for it. However straight or gay you should not shove it in peoples faces either. I have had many people give that type of secret to me.

    I always kind of looked at them very unethused since they always make a huge deal about it. I always thought it would be something like they are part of the mafia or something and they are shocked when I say I am not bothered by it.

    If you are gay good for you. If you are straight great. It really should not matter. However if you lying about being boy/girl to date someone you are probably going to face trouble down the road when they figure out the truth. So be careful of that. Also I seem to be rambling and this became a big mess. I hope this was a decent answer to your question. I just don't see why people make it such a major issue.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • clareling
    12 years ago

    It's something that everyone has to do at their own pace, according to their own situation.

    However, presence is powerful politically. It changes the way the people think. That being said, I would lean more in favor of varying degrees of out-of-the closet. It's tough to lie to your best friends and family all the time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • DiscoDuck
    12 years ago

    Well you don't OWE anyone anything, so if you want to tell everyone or anyone its your choice.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Hmmaybe
    12 years ago

    I'd like it if I knew my firends sexualities because I could tell whether they were gay or not. You can't really get a boyfriend if you can't tell who is gay and who isn't. It can be very embarressing to make a mistake.

    I don't really know many girls so getting a girlfriend would be pretty difficult at the moment.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Morrissey's.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Enizzle
    12 years ago

    Gaydar.

    Just sayin'....

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1
  • thebone12
    12 years ago

    if your a fag its ok but you might not wont to cum out or allover everything you meet. Heads up both of them my man.My advice is never put sharp stuff up the butt. Good Day

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -2
    -2
      -
    • nagasonavimana
      12 years ago

      HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for your advice and being concerned about our sphincters...we don't tend to fuck each other with knives, just to give you a bit of peace.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • LifeCanBeHard
      12 years ago

      Idiot

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1