Rationalized killing someone

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4 Comments

Sorry my English not good as native speakers.

The origin is this: I served in the frontier paramilitary/police in my country during my draft. On duty in a remote mountainous terrain, drug and arms traffickers shot at us. Me and 4 others reacted in response and killed 2 of them - 2 others are maimed for life. One of them killed was a unarmed mule (drug carrier). He was probably desperate for money and poor. Other smugglers ran away. I didn't get hurt, but two of my fellows did, one lost a leg and has bullets pieces still in hips. The other has scars on shoulder, arm and stomach forever.

However, I never felt the guilt, remorse, nightmares that movies, testimonials, documentaries, fictional literature portrays after one takes a human life. People usually feel bad for the victim's family - like the victim - however bad they were was still someone's son or brother, lover etc. Maybe I felt and rationalized that these people were filth as they were bringing in lethal and horrible things into my country that would ruin lives and would try and kill us to do it. If anything else they would pass things through my country into a neighboring one - causing destruction and pain there. Its almost as if they didn't deserve to live. One for trying to kill us and two for attempting to bring harm to my country and my people. I am kind of patriot maybe lol

I dont enjoy killing or crave for killing so I am not psychopath. I am suprised I might be a sociopath incapable of remorse. Concern is that this may progress in a way and that would open me to be more capable of greater heinous or brutal acts through rationalization.

Anyone feel remorse or feel none for hurt or damage they brought onto others?

Call me murderer or whatever, I am not as it was to protect my friends, colleagues and country.

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Based on 10 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • samfoxrawr
    5 years ago

    Draft or not, killing people can't be excused.
    Paramilitary or military or police, it doesn't matter, if you shoot someone, you killed someone's kid or sibling or spouse.

    You get over it eventually, and you'll learn this in time.

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  • sissycakes
    5 years ago

    I feel like in time you will come to terms with this. Right now you are probably suppressing it because you have to do other things and live your life. Whenever you finally do realize the great impact you have had you may be sad for a while, but by that point it will be easier to deal with. time can fix the worst part of the pain for you, but just remember people are not filth and are just trying to do what they need to do to survive and for their families to survive.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    I agree. They would not feel any remorse whatever killing you or your comrades. They already demonstrated that with the injuries to your comrades. Lock and load and keep killing those scum with no remorse.

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  • Bajazzles
    5 years ago

    I think it's fine. They shot at you guys, so you shot back. They probably wouldn't have felt bad killing you, so why waste your feelings feeling bad for them?

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