Putting a cork up your ass to prevent gas, iin?

56% Normal
12 Comments

Before any of you become alarmed, I have never stuck a cork up my ass and nor do I plan to. This is just something that I have been pondering over for awhile.

I feel that people who have a lot of gas should put corks up their ass as a way to prevent the smells from escaping their anuses. Cork that is used in stopping bottles of wine is chosen because its structure renders it light, elastic, and impermeable to most liquids and gases which keeps the wine in good quality. Therefore, I think cork would do well as an absorber of smells. I am well aware that there are already butt plugs but as far as I know, these don't diffuse gases and fluids. Of course, if the cork would be shoved up the anus it would have to have a flared out base to prevent the sphincter muscles from sucking the cork up into the intestines and the unfortunate soul having to go to the hospital and explain how they got a cork stuck up there.

Anyway, is this a normal thing to ponder about?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 91 votes (51 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Unimportant
    10 years ago

    Do you want those people to explode?

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    • GuessWho
      10 years ago

      Or spontaneously combust?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I guess this means that I'm sadistic! :O

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  • YouKnowWho
    10 years ago

    I guess it's okay to ponder about whatever you feel like, but I'm afraid it's not a very good idea to hold in your farts...better out than in, y'know.

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  • GuessWho
    10 years ago

    Champaign bottle corks will work better than wine bottle corks because of their wedged shape.

    It also doesn't solve the problem completely because they will not be compatible with the stretched assholes of gays - They'd need a larger cork object, like a cricket ball.

    ---
    Although the real problem here is that OP has failed to release his own gas:
    ...Because when you hold farts in, they travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from!

    ---
    See also: https://www.fmylife.com/work/20752893

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Come now! I said that I never implemented my theory. It is a theory and nothing more. I have my gas like everyone else. Sometimes, its loud. Sometimes, its quiet. Sometimes, it smell horrible while other times it smells barely noticeable. There! Are you happy?!

      Gay men aren't the only people on this planet that engage in anal sex.

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  • Maya05
    10 years ago

    I don't think it would work very well. A bottle is a perfect circle and solid (as in it doesn't change shape at all) Your anus isn't a perfect circle so you'd need to have a cork much bigger then your anus to be able to plug every bit of it. And (although I'm not actually sure about this) I would think even if you could perfectly plug your anus, gas could still push its way out through the side of the cork. Since skin is more malleable the gas could just push its way out, moving the skin with it.

    That was probably horribly worded (It makes sense in my head atleast) And I can't believe I just spent 5 minutes thinking about this topic...

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    Better out than in.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Shrek was always honest about such things.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    ROTFLOL! nice one dude.

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  • Wendell
    10 years ago

    How about lined underwear or something like that. I think some kind of underwear bag has been invented actually. That would be better than being sodomized

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I think you are correct. I remember some kind of "gas pad" being invented a few years ago.

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