Prick boss, need advice

Need advice. I dealt with boss at temp job today who kept bitchin over every detail of how I was doing the job. It was a moving company. He kept getting fired up in a very pushy way, yelling, using nasty sarcasm, etc. I then got worked up and yelled at him "look! I ain't your fucking bitch!" He then got up in my face yelling "Dont fucking talk to me like that! I've thrown people onto the ground for talking to me like that!" That was his reaction. I know, since I was working for him, that I shouldn't have yelled "I'm not your fucking bitch" to him, but did that give him the right for his reaction?

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57% Normal
Based on 14 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 40 )
  • lonewolf1253

    A boss threatening physical violence is way way way out of line.

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  • Checkmate_King

    Watch out for crazies. He coulda pull a knife and got down on ya. Best to walk away backwards saying "nice doggie" while you're looking for a rock.

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    • It's not unheard of for a boss to physically attack an employee, is it?

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      • lonewolf1253

        You could sue the pants off him if he did. Take his business and then fire his nasty ass.

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  • barstool

    Sounds like there's not much you can do at this point. But what I think the lesson from this is (cos I've had to learn it as well) next time you're in that situation, say in your mind the mantra "STAY ICE COLD" and calmly tell him that you're not going to tolerate being spoken to like that.

    If you stay calm, ice fucking cold, but still say what you want to say (without cussing him out) that's the best way to deal with it. He probably WANTS to provoke you, so the trick is to be assertive without getting riled up. That's what I think anyway.

    But yeah, the guy's a cunt.

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    • Just want to be sure, so you're saying that next time, I just use better choice words than "I'm not your bitch", right?

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      • barstool

        Yeah, that's what I meant. But moreso the tone of voice and the way you compose yourself. Cos actually, now that you say it, "I'm not your bitch" isn't such an inflammatory thing to say. It was more that you said you got worked up, and it sounded kind of angry and aggressive? But on second thought the words themselves aren't actually that bad.

        And I think you have to be like, extra extra calm, cool and calculated. In terms of How you address him. So actually, yeah you could still have said "Listen, I'm not your bitch" in a totally controlled, calm way and that might have been better.
        So yeah, it's more about your overall composure than the actual words you use. But I would try and avoid swearing too much at the same time. Because that just gives him an excuse to get mad.
        Just what I think anyway... At the end of the day, there's some people and some situations where you really can't win, anyway. Just gotta take it in stride.

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        • I don't think me saying it calmly would have made much difference, he was wound so tight to begin with, and just aching for a fight. You think going to a lawyer on him will get me anywhere? I did not record him, and the other guys there were regular employees and were not that nice themselves (they were all kind of the red neck type) and I know they wouldn't speak up for me. It would totally be my word over his, or maybe even their's. You think going to a lawyer would do any good?

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          • barstool

            Fair enough. I don't think seeing a lawyer would do you much good. I mean, what did he actually do that a lawyer could help sort out? He yelled at you and ordered you around? Boo-hoo...yaknow? [I don't mean that literally, I mean that's what the legal system probably thinks].

            Is there more to it than that? I just don't think there's any legal recourse for what he did.

            I just think most people expect reasonable treatment from bosses, and other people in general. But there are always assholes out there that don't play by those rules. They'll verbally abuse people etc. And it's hard to deal with that, and even harder to nail them on any legal thing - that's just what I think anyway.
            Cos like you say, even if he DID do something legally wrong, you've got no proof and it's your word against his so I don't like your chances of making anything stick.

            Best to just move on and learn what you can. It's not fair at all and it kinda sucks, but from my experience at least, that's about all you can do...

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            • He didn't just order me around, he threatened to knock me to the ground. But it would still be just my word over his.

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  • Typical bully, insecure mf. You have two choices... either quit (recommended), or work your ass off to take his job (highly recommend).

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    • I did work my ass off, nothing in my work performance was good enough for him. I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but he also said that he just quit smoking and was still going through smoking withdrawal.

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  • Boojum

    Proof is always good, and if you're in a situation where you've got the idea that an asshat is about to go off on you, it's simple enough to start a voice recording app and put your phone somewhere that it's out of sight, but can get a good recording (even just put a piece of paper over it).

    Knowing you're being recorded also gives you more motivation to be calm and respectful, no matter the provocation, since you know you'll sound reasonable and rational, while he'll sound like a total psycho.

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    • Since I did not record it, do you think that me going to a lawyer will get me anywhere on this matter?

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  • Fetiza000

    That's the kind of people you will sometimes meet in LoL.

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  • There was a police station nearby where I was working with him, and since the guy threatened me, I almost thought about informing them about it, but I didn't because this boss really seemed like a "snitches get stitches" kind of guy.

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  • Yeah. Karma will bite them in the ass.

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  • Well, since he said to me "I've thrown people on the ground for talking to me like that!" after I told him "I'm not your bitch!", I guess that says that he has had other similar back and forths with other people before, especially since he knew just what to say to me after my "bi tch" comments, I'm probably not the first one to say that to him. He's probably been the sarcastic barking bully type of boss for a while now. I understand that he most likely has pressure deadlines and heated phone calls he has to deal with, so I sort of understand his stress. But his attitude is still ignorant and outdated, modern times has shown proof that employees function better without a barking bully manager. Modern times also show that you can go to OSHA or file complaints when a boss says something like "I've knocked people down for that shut before!", even if I said something to instigate it. But instigated me by being a "you're my bitch" kind of boss. However, to file complaints, that's not gonna get me anywhere cause there would have to be witnesses to also say they heard him talk to me that way, and they most likely won't do that in fear of their jobs. So filing a complaint will do nothing for me and piss him off further.

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  • Don’t go back and tell the agency why. That guy shouldn’t supervise anyone.

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    • I wish that I could get payback on him for how he treated me, but realistically, that would be a tough challenge to accomplish. If I file a complaint on him, it won't get me anywhere and piss him off more. The upper authorities will need something more than the word of a temp guy about his attitude. The other co workers there will most likely not speak up and tell the authorities how he talked to me, due to them possibly jeopardizing their jobs if they did. It's a matter of my word against his, and I'll get myself nowhere except pissing him off further. And that guy's already a loose cannon, so who knows how he'd react to me snitching on him, and snitching is how he'd see it. And I didn't help matters by saying to him "I'm not your fucking bitch!"

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      • Tell the temp agency you need a new gig “due to a hostile work environment”. They’ll understand.

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        • Checkmate_King

          Tell 'em youre gay and have to use the women's bathroom and the guy ragged on ya for it. Mention "equal rights" and "your friend Bruce at the ACLU". The temp agency will bend over forwards for you.

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          • That’s the truth.

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        • Yeh, I'd never go near that job or that guy again. The agency will probably understand, as long as I don't start making a habit out of asking not to be sent here or there. But I won't though, cause I've worked at a lot of jobs before and never had to deal with anyone that angry and fucked up before. You think if maybe I recorded what that guy said to me on my phone, I then maybe would've been more successful in taking action on him? This is the modern age, I didn't think managers could dare do that shit anymore. It makes me wonder why there are still people, like in business settings, who still make threats or say really fucked up shit, don't they realize that someone could push the record button on their phone at any time?

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          • Most states are “at will” states, meaning you could be fired for any reason real or imagined and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it, that’s for fulltime employees. As a temp you probably have no recourse besides quitting - if you were fulltime and recorded him based on the fact you were concerned for your safety, you might have a legal case for “hostile work environment”. However, the way you responded could also be seen as aggressive by a defense lawyer. Best bet is to move on and avoid the heartburn and drama, and hope a piano falls on him at some point.

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            • Checkmate_King

              Heh you sound like an Esquire, squire. Non compus mentos?

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            • Yeah, a piano falling on him would be sweeet. You're right, I probably ruined any chance of a case against him with my "I'm not your bitch!" remark. That and no recording. I'll just have my phone by me next time I'm with a boss that fucked up, and I'll make sure I don't spew out any comments out of line. Meanwhile, I'll move on from the prick from my job this morning, there's nothing else to do about that now, it's a done situation.

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  • e51pegasi

    If I was at work & someone spoke to me like that, boss or no boss, that is the response I would have given in return. Screaming & shouting at people seldom elicits a positive response from anyone.

    No employee deserves to be spoken to like that except under one circumstance.
    That circumstance is when they put themselves or other employees at risk of serious injury or death.

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    • This guy I just worked for had some serious issues, I've worked for lots of temp jobs from that agency before and I had not gotten treated like that before. He shouldn't have been such a prick, uppity boss to begin with, but when I told him "I'm not your fycking bitch!", that obviously escalated the tension. I know his reaction was fucked up, but was I wrong to say what I said to him first?

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      • e51pegasi

        Were you wrong, probably not. I'd have said the same. If he wasn't happy with your comments he would have just finished you on the spot.
        If his management style is the sarcastic, barking bully technique perhaps he is used to staff talking freely, people giving as good as they get.

        Deadlines & heated phonecalls from further up the food chain can't do anyone's blood pressure any good.

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        • I'm sure he's got pressure and deadlines, but that still doesn't give him an excuse to be a sarcastic, barking, prick boss. He was definitely off base by telling me "I've thrown fuckers on the ground for talking to me that way!", but I first said "I'm not your fucking bitch!", maybe not the best choice words for a temp to say to a boss. You think if, after he barked at me, I instead said something like "can you please talk to me in a calmer, more respectful way?", he wouldn't have had such a bad reaction?

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          • e51pegasi

            I doubt it, it may have been worth a try. If he is a crazy bastard it wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

            I might have asked him, "Why are you (fucking) screaming at me like that for? What on (fucking) Earth is wrong now?". Or as you say "I would appreciate if you don't talk to me like that, I'm here just like you to earn a wage."

            If its grief between a temp & a member of the management, the manager sadly is going to win every time.

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            • Yeah, that's probably why he treated me how he did, because he knew how easily he could pull it off, right?

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