Post update ; on relationships

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21 Comments

I recently made a post on how I’ve never been in a relationship and how when something is getting serious now I’m scared to take the plunge because what if down the line I feel he isn’t the one ?

I really like this man. And he’s hinting about asking the question ... and I will say yes more than likely to being his gf. But I’m just worried that I’ll end up realising he isn’t the one? What if there is better for me out there ? Someone more suited. He’s not a country boy like I am a country girl, there’s times were we don’t talk the convo isn’t always following, shouldn’t it be? That’s what I worry about. And I end up with him and I could actually be happier with someone else? I do like him a lot... and want to give it a go I’m just scared it won’t work out or something. Infact it’s hard to explain how I feel. I want to find the one.

Should I just enjoy the moment and see where it leads?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Cuntsiclestick
    5 years ago

    Enjoy the moment and see where it leads. My boyfriend and I are complete opposites when it comes to some things and that had me worried, but we're still together for three years so far. It's been lovely. If by some weird reason it somehow doesn't work out, I'll be sad, but I'll be happy I took the chance and have good memories.
    :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Thank you.
      I’m also worried about the sex being a virgin... he knows I’ve never been official with anyone and was shocked...
      Well I don’t know if and when to tell him I’m a virgin too.

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      • Cuntsiclestick
        5 years ago

        I told my boyfriend on the first date I never had a dick in me(that's how I worded it. Don't say it the way I did lol). He wasn't bothered by it. If he likes you, telling him that won't bother him.
        :)

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Hahaha! But I need to tell him right ?

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          • Cuntsiclestick
            5 years ago

            Yeah. He might have unrealistic expectations if you don't. If he knows, he'll know what to expect and he'll know to take it easy.

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  • Mrown
    5 years ago

    You should just enjoy the moment, not wonder if somewhere in this big ass world there's someone better for you. If you like him and he likes you then what can you lose by giving it a chance? You'll have more experience in future relationships.

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    It's not like he's proposing marriage and kids. He's just asking you to be his girlfriend, it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life.

    Just see where it goes. If it doesn't work out then it's not that big of a deal, life goes on.

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  • Tealights
    5 years ago

    There is no one person; that kind of thinking adds too much stress. We can be compatible with thousands of people, so you'll never be lonely in this world unless you choose to force people away. What's important is how much you two are willing to try for each other.

    I'm a city girl dating a deep country guy; I'm talking about he being and traveling from MS, GA, FL his whole life and I basically being from NY, NJ, etc, my whole life. I was skeptical at first because I've picked out some bad men who abused me previously, so I tried hard to push him away at first from fear, but he stubbornly fought back giving me nothing but friendship and consistency until I eventually realized that even though I was scared, I like him a lot. He and I experienced a lot of silent moments between conversations too, and I use to be stressed over it, but he told me, "It's nice to have comfortable silence with someone because everyone feels the need to talk or want to be constantly entertained."

    In my opinion, I think consistency is very important. When a man is pretending to be someone else for the sake of getting a girl, then with time the mask will fall. If a man is truly himself, he's consistent no matter how much time passes, even in his worse moments; sure there will be minor changes in opinion and such, but not enough to make you feel like you're dating an entirely new person. So with that mentioned, my advice will be: go with the flow and enjoy the relationship but remain vigilant. If it turns out bad, then survive, leave and learn from it.

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    • charli.m
      5 years ago

      Perfect answer.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Thank you.
      Another thing that bothers me... and why I’ve pulled away from men so many times is... because of the sex. Do I tell him I’m a virgin? When do I tell him? I know all about the birds and the bees but that’s about it. I’m scared he will run a mile when he realises what I am. And my friend has been saying it’ll hurt etc. Which has made me feel a bit weird.

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      • Tealights
        5 years ago

        Same here! I was a virgin until 24 and gave it to the guy I've mentioned. Oddly enough, my guy already knew I was a virgin due to my mannerisms and was okay with it long before I said anything lol.

        However, whether you decide to tell him or not, I can't make that choice for you. But, I can explain how I came to my conclusion to actually go through with it.

        My way of thinking is this: Have sex with someone you won't regret. Realistically, I knew not every relationship I was going to enter would be lasting, and holding myself until marriage or for "the one," was too much unrealistic commitment and pressure for anyone to handle successfully. So if I found a guy who I can get along with on multiple levels, was honest, genuinely himself, consistent, and can accept me for me, I'll take the risk whether we broke up later down the road or not.

        In my past relationships, I was terrified of getting pregnant; but it was most likely me knowing those guys weren't worth it even if I had birth control. They tried to pressure me, whined, etc, and those behaviors alone screamed, "I only care about my satisfaction. Fuck how you feel!" However, with my guy I'm with now, when we finally started dating and had our first kiss, all those fears were gone.... and I could have gotten pregnant, being lost in the moment is real!! Be careful lol!! Anyway jokes aside, you'll know if he's right, and even if it's not forever, at least you were confident in your choices and can build off them. Take a long as you need, if he's a good guy he'll be patient.

        Lastly, it hurts if you're tense and unsure. If you're relaxed, it'll be fine. Have lube because it'll be a tight squeeze for him. For me, I liked my boyfriend a lot so my body did its natural thing, plus he calmed me down before we actually did anything, and it didn't hurt.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Thank you.
          I am relaxed around him he’s my first proper proper kiss and it just happened! All the other guys I dated it never happened properly because I was so unsure.

          I feel I should tell him I haven’t done anything. But it’s just the anxiety of what he will think. But I feel I can’t get lost in the moment until I’ve told him.

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