Possible sociopath bug killing

So before you reject this take a look at my profile. I'm pretty sure I'm some form of sociopath. As a kid I had no emotions what so ever. I would see a bug and simply desire to torture it until it died. I didnt enjoy or feel anything from this. I just wanted to see it's insides tearing apart. I would use any kind of tool or even sometimes my fingers. I didnt want to kill them, just see how fragile their bodies were.
I am 25 now and still do these things with bugs only. I have been doing these experiments since I was 5? I have used anything from a knife to cut open their bodies to tweezers to tear off their legs and eyes to corn cob holders so I could hold them in place as I burned, melted, or drowned them. I would even test the "no pain" theory for bugs by finding any kind of Listerine or hydrogen peroxide or air fresheners to make the open wounds feel something. It fascinated me that they couldn't scream or escape and no one ever caught me so I just kept it up.
I would care later on in my life that I did these things.
My parents were rockers turned Christian buttons and they were always at church so I had the whole house to myself.
I would even trap flies with my cousins and let them explode in the microwave.
But some if my cousins also were incestuous and we would mess around (male and female with me) so we probably have some of that running in the family.
The first time I realized this could be a problem was just recently when I went to a Morrissey concert recently and watched for the first time what happens to sheep, cows, chickens, even pigs... And it upset me enough to scream and bang my hands on the chairs in front of me till they were blood and my nails were bending backwards from the force of my blows to their chair. My friend was surprised by my reaction. Btw Morrissey played meat is murder in case you were wondering.
Now this is my main question. Is it normal that I can torture and kill helpless bugs and feel no remorse or sickness, yet I am angered and in pain when I watch other animals get tortured and suffer by others hands?
In other words I have never hurt (intentionally with malicious intent) a cat, dog, cow, pig, etc. I only say intentionally because when I was a kid I do remember finding it amusing that my cat could be thrown like a Barbie doll really high in the sky but when he flipped too fast and broke his leg I was shocked by the noises he made at me and when my dad found out he forced me to listen to the vet straighten out my cats leg and it made me realize I couldn't handle the suffering and the noise.
The fact a cat or a dog or a cow or even a human can show fear and anger and suffering is what bothers me I think.
Bugs don't show anything so I guess I am not bothered by tourturing them.
Also I find it to be an issue now that I am older that I am still doing this to bugs 20 years later. And my cat likes to join in with me. Before I wrote this mr cat caught a cricket and he had already ripped a leg and some lower body off so I got in on the action with a toothpick and some scissors and slowly cut just his belly open and used the toothpick to scrape out his guts. He made a little twitch with his legs and my cat liked that so I let him eat the guts and he seemed dissatisfied with the taste which made me feel bad that I wasted my time doing this at 4:30 in the morning. But now the cricket is dead and I am tired and kinda got bored with this. Well what do you all think? Is this normal?