Porn makes me uncomfortable

83% Normal
6 Comments

Hi. I've known my Fiance for about 6 years. After some separation time we decided to get together again. We have been together for about 8 months now... We are fine together... But one MAJOR problem I have with him is his porn. We have sex A LOT. But one day apart and he's back to watching porn. In my personal view, him watching porn is VERY disrespectful to me but to be honest I just think it's my self esteem BUT... I have noticed that pornography makes me sick to the point that as soon as I see a porn star I have to bolt to the rest room to hurl my brains out. I know this isn't normal. My past Fiance used to be completely addicted to porn but when he got engaged to me the porn CEASED I was so comfortable with him. But he turned gay and left my relationship after having a child with me. I fear if I put my foot down hard on no porn but fear he may turn gay and/or leave me. I worry a lot and suffer from anxiety. Some times I feel my heart stop when I see on his history and find porn... He tells me he just surfs through it and whacks to go to bed but... IT REALLY hurts me. I try so hard to deal with it, blank it out of my head, and continue my day normally but I JUST CAN'T. I need hep... Advice... I don't want to leave this relationship but I do for my health but I DON'T CAUSE I LOVE HIM I just... don't know what to do. People tell me "It's normal for men to whack off to porn and that it's only a visual thing..." I don't think there's a PORNaphobia but if there is, I have a SEVERE case of it.

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83% Normal
Based on 6 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • offended55
    9 years ago

    It may be normal for your husband or boyfriend to watch porn, but I strongly agree it's not respectful for him to leave it on the computer for you to see. It's offensive and degrading to see whether he meant to leave it on or not. And even if the computer belongs to him, he still shouldn't leave it up for you to see when you get on to use it, especially if the computer is in YOUR house. After confronting him about it and telling him that it upsets you to see it, it seems he should apologize IF he cares about you and how you feel. It nauseates me, wondering why the hell would he want me to see it. I instantly start questioning what is his reason for wanting me to see and know that he's been jacking off while looking at porn. And what's worse, is one of the names of the porn chic he was viewing, happens to be my daughter's name. Am I being paranoid? If his reason for wanting me to see that, is hinting that he doesn't get enough sex, perhaps he needs to spend more time changing HIS actions and thoughts to what he can do to make me feel more worthwhile and understand that leaving porn on the computer for me to see is NOT the way to turn me on! Nauseating your girlfriend or wife is NO WAY to put them in the mood. Why can't men understand this. Hey, I"m thankful he's jacking off and not messing around with someone else, BUT, I don't appreciate SEEING this crap on the computer. So, shouldn't he apologize for leaving it on for me to see, after I've explained to him that it offends me and makes me feel worthless?

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Porn makes me uncomfortable... in my panties.

    But seriously, porn is neutral. It's not cheating.

    If anything to me it's like that scene in American Beauty where the wife has a hissy fit because her husband is jerking off and she starts talking "divorce"

    Except that it backfires when he points out just how nice he's made her life and that he gives her everything she wants.

    If the worst thing he does is beat his meat to a video once in a while, count yourself lucky. He's at home with you and not cheating on you with anything other than his hand.

    Perhaps you should watch it WITH him and see what it's about before automatically deciding it's "disrespectful"

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    • offended55
      9 years ago

      that's degrading! sick..,most women DO not WANT TO WATCH PORN!!!!

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    You shouldn't feel bad if he's having sex with you all the time. If he never did anything with you and went to use porn all the time instead that would make sense.

    Honestly I think the chances of this guy turning gay because he stops watching porn is slim to none. Did your ex fiance watch gay porn or something?? lol.

    I think you've taken this to another level because of what happened to you with your ex, which is understandable, but you need to let it go....maybe there is some type of porn you'd like to watch?? XD idk.

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  • Thereisnogod
    12 years ago

    Men love porn. It may seem terrible to you but to us it's amazing. We couldn't tell you stop shoe shipping because it hurts us. Why is it so hard to understand men and porn. It will never go away. Accept that he wants to have a healthy imagination

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    • offended55
      9 years ago

      Yeah, and women love to shop. NOT, all women. And if men put as much effort into improving their relationship with his wife/girlfriend, as much as he does watching porn, he wouldn't have to watch porn to get off. To women it's degrading and disgusting, maybe because their dad's raised them properly and encouraged self worth and value, and porn is NOT that. To watch other naked women, young girls, in compromising positions, and fantacizing about them to get off is corrupting. So, is your wife or girlfriend not worthy enough to get you going. A woman doesn't have to fantacize about other men to her off.

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