Please settle this for me: which of us is right?

19 Comments

Woman A(my) owes Woman B(renda) some money. They've known each other for a while now and Amy has almost paid Brenda completely off.

Amy finally emails Brenda and tells her she has the last of the money and wants to ask Brenda when she can come to Brenda's house to pay her (like they always have before). For some unknown reason, Brenda does not want Amy to come to the house, but wants to meet her in town, only a couple minutes away from the house. Amy refuses to meet Brenda "as if doing some type of drug deal". Brenda then gets angry and requests that Amy mail the cash to her address. Amy tries to go back and say "fine, lets meet in town", but then Brenda refuses and insists that it be mailed. Amy then gets fed up with the back and forth and refuses to mail it, saying basically that "unless you meet me, you don't get paid, because I don't mail cash". Now all of a sudden Brenda agrees to meet Amy, reluctantly.

Nothing happened between to two women to start any argument, it was started only because Brenda doesn't want Amy at her house anymore for some unknown reason. Brenda has also stated that Amy is not welcome at Brenda's house anymore, and has said to never to show up there again.

I am not Amy or Brenda, I am a third party referee.

Was Brenda wrong to insist that the payment be mailed? Was Amy wrong to refuse to mail it and to insist on the meeting?

Woman A(my) 20
Woman B(renda) 30
Neither 13
Both 12
Unsure 13
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Comments ( 19 )
  • michaels4p5
    11 years ago

    b was wrong. you send it off in the mail guess whose gonna get it the people checking the mail.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    If you are the mediator, suggest that you deliver the cash. Amy could aslo get a cashiers check and mail that.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Unfortunately I can't, or I would. :(

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  • charli.m
    11 years ago

    I don't understand what there is to be 'right' or 'wrong' about. It's odd, I think Brenda could have explained her decision to not let Amy in her house better, but she also has the right to not want someone in her house.

    It all sounds odd to me, but I don't see why it's a matter of someone being right or wrong.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Maybe I should edit it a bit then...

      The 'right' or 'wrong' comes into play when it comes to the method of payment. Was it right of Brenda to request that Amy mail the cash? Was it right of Amy to refuse to meet Brenda in town?

      Brenda will not tell me why Amy isn't welcome at her house anymore, but also insists that Amy hasn't done anything... So I have no idea what happened to alter the situation. :S

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      • charli.m
        11 years ago

        Brenda has a right to not want someone in her home, regardless of the reason.

        Amy has the right to not agree to mailing money which could get lost in the mail, or to meet somewhere else when there has not been a problem meeting at Brenda's house before, and she has the right to ask why, and to state what she will and won't do.

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  • Fabulous
    11 years ago

    Pimp slap them pimp

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  • gummy_jr
    11 years ago

    I feel like this is a math problem

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  • dolan
    11 years ago

    the manliest is obviously correct.. get your logic together woman

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    Amy and Brenda sound like two junior high school girls!

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  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    This is why we need to discontinue these 'right' and 'wrong' type arguments. 'Correct' and 'incorrect' are more favourable to a satisfactory outcome.
    Neither person is in the 'right', both are therefore in the 'wrong'.
    Neither person is 'correct'.
    The 'correct' behaviour, would be to negotiate a mutually agreeable meeting to complete the transaction, or to accomplish this through a trusted third party, such as a bank or trustable mutual friend.
    The circumstances surrounding visitation at Brenda's house, should have no bearing in this transaction. If Brenda does not want Amy visiting her, then Brenda should act responsibly in arranging an alternate meeting place or method of payment, agreeable to both.
    Amy is correct, do not send cash in the mail (why not a cheque?).
    Amy acted more or less responsibly, Brenda did not.

    Post Script: There is much truth in the axiom, 'never mix business with pleasure'. It is possible, however, in some circumstances, to do both business and pleasure, in the same meeting or event, but this should be made by a clear distinction in one's mind, of when such business transaction will occur.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Right and wrong are synonyms to correct and incorrect, respectively. They're the same thing, essentially.

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      • suckonthis9
        11 years ago

        Incorrect. There are subtle, but important differences in the use between 'right' and 'correct'.
        'Correct' is only one definition of 'right'. It is possible, in some circumstances to be 'in the right', but at the same time, to be 'incorrect' in one's actions or behaviours. Much of this is due to what a particular society or individual perceives to be 'right'.

        Synonym discussion: correct, rectify, emend, remedy, redress, amend, reform, revise mean to make right what is wrong. 'Correct', implies taking action to remove errors, faults, deviations, defects <correct your spelling>.

        'Right', does not necessarily imply taking action, and is very rarely used in this way, as in 'set right'.
        There can, at times, be two or more 'right' answers, but only one 'correct' answer.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          To be "right/wrong" and to be "correct/incorrect" are both determined only by man's perception. These are both man-made concepts.

          Definitions: "Correct." As a statement means: right, accurate, exact/exactly, good, on-target, precise, proper, right, so, spot-on, true, veracious

          "To be corrected." Means: To make right what is wrong: amend, emend, mend, rectify, redress, reform, remedy, right.

          There are multiple definitions to some words in the English language... notice the drastic change in meaning when you add the simple words "to be" in front of "correct".

          "There can, at times, be two or more 'right' answers, but only one 'correct' answer." ---This is complete and utter bullshit. Without the presence of Man, there is NO right or wrong, no correct or incorrect... it is only the presence of man's perspective that creates this concept. Therefore, in YOUR perspective this may be true... but it is NOT so for everyone else.

          But I digress... We've strayed far from the topic at hand.... and I must inform you that the subject is dead in the water and needs no more assistance from anyone. I'm considering just deleting it outright.

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          • suckonthis9
            11 years ago

            Without the presence of humans, there would be no human language, period.
            If both terms meant exactly the same thing, then there would be no need for a different word. It is because some people, who are ignorant, assume that everything that they deem as 'right', is, in actuality, 'correct'.
            This is why we have a diverse language, so that we can communicate different, but sometimes related thoughts, ideas, concepts and emotions, with one another.

            I will cite three examples, but there are thousands and thousands of similar examples:

            1) There are two countries who are at war with one another.
            If you ask the people who are fighting, on both sides, whether it is 'right' that they are fighting, I think that most of the people will agree, that they deem themselves to be 'in the right', and the other side 'in the wrong', otherwise, they would not be fighting.
            Now ask the same people, whether it is 'correct' to be warring. I think that most people will agree, on both sides, that there are better alternatives than warring, to settle a dispute.
            Both sides were 'right', but both sides were at the same time, 'incorrect' in their behaviour.

            2) I need some firewood.
            Is it 'right' for me to take my saw, and chop down a tree for firewood? Yes.
            Is this the 'correct' behaviour, though?
            No, not necessarily. Is my harvesting of firewood sustainable? Is it a 'correct' species of tree, suitable for firewood? Am I depriving wildlife of their habitat? Should I have chosen a different tree to fell, for a variety of reasons? Did I fell the tree in a safe and controlled fashion?
            It is 'right' for me to collect firewood, because I need heat, but my procedure might or might not be 'correct'.

            3) I can spell the same word, with the same meaning, in two different ways, such as, "centre" and "center". Which spelling is 'right'? Answer: both. But which is the 'correct' spelling? It depends on who you are, and where you live. If you are British or Canadian, then the former spelling is 'correct', and the latter is 'wrong'. If you are an American, then the latter spelling is 'correct', and the former is 'wrong'.

            'Rights' are earned through responsible behaviour.
            If I act responsibly, then I have earned a 'right'.
            You can earn a 'right' to do something, but you can't earn a 'correct'.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              11 years ago

              All of that... just to agree with me. Simply stated, the words "right/wrong" and "correct/incorrect" are essentially the same. NOT exactly the same, but essentially. They're both used differently, and mean slightly different things, in different contexts, for different situations... but they ARE essentially the same. It's man's abstract idea of right and wrong, of correct and incorrect that makes the difference.

              They are abstract, flexible, malleable words... that mean essentially the same as one another.

              Thanks for proving my point.

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          • robbieforgotpw
            11 years ago

            Please do
            *everyone snores**

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  • pafetik
    11 years ago

    If Brenda was not be fussy about things its her call but the harder she makes it for Amy to pay, the less likely she is to get paid,
    Amy is right not to want to mail cash.

    In this case, without further facts, the answer is for Amy to send a cheque and not make further contact.

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  • changes123
    11 years ago

    Get the cash from amy and give it to brenda.

    This sounds like grade 8 quarrels between friends. It's kind of childish...

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