Please just read, i need help

73% Normal
5 Comments

I hate my brother, he did things. He is my stepbrother. I want to die, I want my life to be over. I hate my sister too, my step sister. I hate the things they did to me, the things I felt. I was and am to young. I want to take back what I did with my exboyfriend, I was to young, I was stupid. I want to take back my life, and what I've seen. I want to be someone, I want to be numb, and forget the pain. Why do I exists? I didn't ask for this, I didn't as for this ugly face or this body. I didn't ask for a disgusting litter brat of a sister, or a big step sister who is gross and a bitch and touched me, and a brother who touched me and is a fucking jerk and is going to die soon because of smoking. I didn't ask for a best friend who only want to be with her boyfriend now, I didn't ask to be shy or have depression or anxiaty or fucking have to talk to an imaginary friend. I didn't ask to be homeless for two years, or lose my virginity to my ex who was way older, and should have know. He should have known not to, and I shouldn't have made the mistake, and I want to die. I shouldn't have to go threw this. I shouldn't have to be confused about my sexuality, or my gender, or how gross I feel. I want to die and go to heaven, I shouldn't have had to give up my dogs or my cats. It's my fault for all of this isn't it? Why did my grandma have to smoke behind my back, she might die too. Why do I have to share a room with a lying sister who probably masturbates like a fucking slut and talks to boys religiously who are like 90 times older, and change boyfriends every second. Why do I have to lose hope, why do I even have hope? Why can't I help anyone or make friends? I'm scared of school, and I'm scared to talk or to even ask for directions in a gas station. Why am I ugly? Why can't I be pretty and a good actor and model? Why do I feel like no one really cares. I'll never meet anyone famous, or be anybody. I'm 14, and my life is already ending. I've seen a lot of shit, been threw so much, in just 14 years. I've done things at a young age that no one should do. I've been hurt, and I want to die. I'm a burden. Does anyone else feel this way? I'm to scared to continue...

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73% Normal
Based on 11 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • jukkara
    6 years ago

    Hey hey brother, I feel a little like that sometimes, feeling like theres nothing worth living for, wanting to end my life and feeling depressed and ugly. But then again, remember that almost everybody feels like that at SOME point of their lives. Maybe you are too. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably dont know your situation well enough to be offering advice, I'd say look to escapism and positive things. Distract yourself, that's what I do. Not the best advice, but the best I can give.

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  • DopeyDobby
    6 years ago

    I have felt the same in the past, but...
    You are too young to be worrying about such adult situations
    As much as you've been through a lot you shouldn't have had to and you're still not mentally equipped to handle it. You didn't need a boyfriend because clearly you didn't know what you were looking for. You don't need a friend who doesn't doesn't make time for you.
    However don't get paranoid over everything.
    There's always a deeper meaning and a deeper solution. Emotions aren't simple and feelings can't be minimised, but you can organise and understand them.
    You seem to be blaming people for your bad situations. That's a way to write a story, not your life.
    Situations are temporary and hopefully so are people. As much as it seems bad to be losing a friend take this opportunity to get to know yourself better, because friends like that hold you back and brother and sisters like that will hopefully one day be none of your business.
    Blame the emotion you allowed yourself to feel rather than the person who tried to make you feel it.

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  • Takuto
    6 years ago

    Why do you complain about shit that means nothing to you. You don't need people to continue on with your life.
    You've got a good pair arms and a good pair of legs. Now use them to get through where you need to be in life instead of drowning in your self pity.
    They touched you? Call the police.
    They smoke? That's not your problem.
    He took your virginity? If you didn't want it then it's rape, get the police involved.
    You're ugly? No one cares

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Hi.

    You can always come talk to us in the chat, although given your age I can't guarantee they'll let you stay.

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  • Hellnaw
    6 years ago

    14? Only 18 and up allowed on this site

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