Please help family disowned me

29% Normal

This not really a question about is it normal really but I need some advice. I have posted elsewhere on is it normal with details of what I did but I would also like peoples opinion on what I should do. I have been in a relationship for 3 years with my older Boyfriend, I am 23 now and he is 10 years older than me. He was divorced when I met him and has two little daughters. Anyway my Family don't like him and we argued and I left with him. We got a flat with my savings from my job it was enough for a security bond and a few months rent and some furniture, I even sold my car because he needed money which I gave to him. He also wanted me to give up my job as an Office trainee because he was jealous that I was in an Office full of Guy's, I did give up my job for him because I love him. Anyway over the next couple of years my Boyfriend asked me to do things for him some of them I did not like and were disgusting to me but I did them for him anyway because I love him so much and he told me he would love me more if I did them. Then about 6 months ago I found out that he had been seeing my younger sister who is 18 now. He then finished with me and made me leave our flat. I went home but then he told everyone the disgusting things I had done for him, I couldn't deny it because he has pictures which he showed to his friends. My family are so ashamed of me they have thrown me out nobody wants to know me because they know the things I have done and people who know me treat me like I have some disease. I have a small bedsit now and my Boyfriend has started coming around to see me some evenings in the past month and says he wants me back, I have started having sex with him again, I love him so much he can be so kind at times and he tells me has fallen in love with me again, I feel like my heart is breaking...what should I do I know I will hurt my sister because she loves him too.

Voting Results

29% Normal

Based on 34 votes (10 yes)

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Comments ( 27 )

Justsomejerk

11 years ago | pl

Take him back and cook 10000mg of paracetamol into every meal of his. When he dies of liver failure you will feel better.

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- Ontheoutsidelookingin
  
  11 years ago
  
  Lol you are just some jerk! Honestly though, it not even half of what he deserves! -_-
  
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Short4Words

11 years ago

Why do you love him after all he's done to you? Do you think there's nothing better out there?

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- GoraIntoDesiGals
  
  11 years ago
  
  You know the saying. Girls go for bad boys.
  
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  - Short4Words
    
    11 years ago
    
    Yea but that's a saying. She's already explained down below why she thinks she can trust only him with what she's done but the truth is that she just needs to find someone who can accept what she's done. We can't judge people for the past, people can become very lost, sick, depraved, and do things they normally wouldn't do or do again, and we fault them because we have never sunk "that low" but in a lot of cases we do things just as terrible in a different way.
    
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ucipher8

11 years ago

Hes obviously using you. I am ashamed to say that you are enabling him

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- lorraine650
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thank you everyone for your replies. I am not going to see him again and if he comes round I will not let him in. I am going to my Gran's in two days she lives a long way from here. I will try to talk to my Sister but I think She will only think I am trying to spoil things for her and break them up She will believe whatever he tells her. I know I sound pathetic and stupid, I have been stupid but how it all happened I don't know. Before I met him I would never of done those things, I am not going back to him but I cannot believe I still have feelings for him,I hope he does not make my Sister do the things I did.
  
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  - Short4Words
    
    11 years ago
    
    Lorraine I'm so proud of you. Whether you see him or not is your prerogative but the fact that you are making a choice to change and think of yourself differently is truly wonderful. To me, you don't sound like the girl who did those things, you seem like a woman who is willing to put her past behind her.
    
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lorraine650

11 years ago

Well I leave on the Bus today for my Gran's in a couple of hours, I have mailed a link for this post to my Sister. I hope She will get in touch after She has a look, I won't give up though hopefully if he tries to make her do things She will get in touch. Thank you so much all of you for your words, you have all been a great help. It just shows that good people are out their and they are willing to help a stranger. I am frightened for my Sister though and I feel so bad about what I did and that I introduced him into my life and my Families lives. I just hope I can somehow repair things.

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Andrew546

11 years ago

Break up with that jerk he doesn't deserve you oh and tell your sister that she is going to be having to do some discusting things for him and tell your family that he made you do everything for him because you loved him ut now you know that he is a cheater! Oh god that was a lot to say! Make sure you do thesr!.....

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ucipher8

11 years ago

oh she will. send her a link to this anonymously before she ends up like you

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MissyLeyneous

11 years ago

Well fuck them too. Not literally of course.

I'm sorry, in all seriousness I have no idea what to say here.

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Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

You're that dogfucker ain't ya.

I'm not sure what kind of advice to give you.

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- cigs
  
  11 years ago
  
  what dogfucker
  
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cigs

11 years ago

your not to smart you should tell him to get the fuck out from after what he has done to you.

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lorraine650

11 years ago

Don't say that please, I know I am disgusting but I only did it because I love him.

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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

He's a user and you keep enabling him. It's not normal.

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shade_ilmaendu

11 years ago

This post actually made me tear up a little bit. Good for you for getting the hell out of there, I've been in a manipulative relationship like the one you've talked about and I understand how hard it is to break away. You'll still care about him for a while, and you may hate yourself for caring but don't. Human emotion is not a logical thing.

One of the worst things to come away with from these situations is guilt, and your family certainly didn't help. Let me tell you (as I'm sure many people will) it was NOT YOUR FAULT. People just like you and me are manipulated, used and abused every day, they are the victims of sick people. You didn't do anything wrong, he did, and he's the one who should feel guilty.

You can be strong. People are out there surviving this shit every day. It will be painful, but in the end you'll grow so much more from having suffered hardship. Just keep your head up, love yourself, and live a good life. Namaste.

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scamps027

11 years ago

Thats f*cking stupid to get back together with him. He'll just keep doing the same disgusting things he's done in the past. I hope all goes well for you though, that really sucks to have that kind of a family.

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Andrew546

11 years ago

Oh by the way this is a girl I am just using my brothers account! LOL :p

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coolio75650932

11 years ago

shouldent this be called:IIN to do every thing for him?

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Ontheoutsidelookingin

11 years ago

Seriously?! You're worried about hurting your sisters feelings? Um, if anyone has a brain should know that your 18 year old sister, in other words child.. Needs an education! I'm so furious and it's not even my business! You mam need to also grow up, see that he's only using you and whatever you come with—money! It's just sad that you really chose your Family over this doochbag! And your job.. It's sad, sweetheart. Get it together and become a woman, not another man's slave! Ask God for guidance as well, I'm sure if you were smart, you would.

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lorraine650

11 years ago

My Gran has said I can stay with her for a while so as soon as I have money for Bus fare I am going to stay with her until I have something sorted out. I feel so confused and I can't understand what has happened.

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- Dontworrybehappy
  
  11 years ago
  
  Tell him if he's fallen in love with you again that he should delete all evidence of the disgusting things you did. Otherwise he will use them to blackmail you. As soon as he has deleted it all, dump him like the piece of shit he is. You shouldn't love a person like that an it is clear he doesn't love you. He's just making a mockery of you! If you have any self respect and regret then you will warn your sister to dump him and get rid of him in your own life too. If necessary, get a restraining order.
  
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shuggy-chan

11 years ago

I suggust shooting him in his face, it obviously Narcisstic

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lorraine650

11 years ago

I just feel that it's all my fault he always tells me I can't do anything right, I have lost everything because I am so stupid and who would even want me. He tells me he wants me back which is something. I feel like nobody will ever want me again. It's like Eopeipoon say's I am disgusting. As soon as anybody finds out what I have done they won't want me. At least with my Boyfriend I would have nothing to hide.

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- GoraIntoDesiGals
  
  11 years ago
  
  If it's something like pissing on each other I don't think it's disgusting.
  
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Please help family disowned me