Paranoid about men

75% Normal
8 Comments

I was sexually abused by my grandfather when I was really little. I used to think that it had no effect on me, but now I think it has. I'm paranoid about guys and their intentions. It's really hard for me to trust men. I can't even trust my own father around me or my nieces. I'm scared it will affect all the relationships I have with men. I'm scared I won't be able to trust my own husband.

Is this normal?

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 61 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    If you think counseling might help, get it. You'll be glad you did.

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  • DarkHart86
    14 years ago

    You can trust guys, you mentioned "husband" so you must be married, you trust someone enough and love them enough you got that far with a guy. if he has not attempted any force onto you then he is trustworthy, and any guy who does not force himself onto you that you've known for at least half a year is good friends in my book.
    I'm a guy, I despise sexual abuse on any girl. my dad used to hit my mom until i told him he's pathetic then slammed him into the front door..

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  • Magicer
    14 years ago

    well, if your parents know bout your Grandfather Molesting you, then you should be already going through the healing process. Nothing one man did should change your way of thinking about the whole species of men..
    it would be difficult tho to establish a sexual Relationship with a boyfriend, so when you Find a boyfriend make sure you fully trust him.
    and in several cases, Children were abused during their childhood and grow up and started a family and lived a healthy life with their partners.

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  • PoisonFlowers
    14 years ago

    :( I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm not sure, but it makes sense that it would make it harder for you to trust men in general. I've read that it's quite common.

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    • Vehemence
      14 years ago

      You should have a healthy sexual distrust for all men. Coming from one, yes, we are sexually drived assholes sometimes, however, it's only in the movies that we pretend to be nice guys only to get into your pants. If that's all that we're after, we know what kind of girl to go after, and we certainly don't act like we're looking for something meaningful. Also, be a strong person that men can respect. Rapists and sexual predators tend to target the weak and fearful. You're pretty normal considering the circumstances, and I'm sure you'll be fine with the right guy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Like I said though, don't let fear control you. I am afraid of losing something else to my Multiple Sclerosis but I still try as much as I can to have a good life. If I become paralyzed, thats fine, at least I know that...

    I tried and didn't let fear win.

    Of course it is scary and it is hard to reach a better you, anything worth having in life is hard and nothing great ever comes cheap or free. Please do not let that monster win, avenge your life by LIVING it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I agree with them and also, the best thing I can say is from a line from Xmen 3. This just came to my head and don't ask why as I truly do not know.

    "DON'T LET IT CONTROL YOU."

    These words have meaning. I don't want to beat a dead horse but please refer back to what I wrote before.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Yeah, I understand. I'm a man and I hate men in general. That is why I date women.

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    Okay, joking aside. You were tramaticed and I see that. However, if you cut this out of your life completely and never develop a relationship. You are letting the attacker STILL victimize you and you are only hurting yourself. I truly hope you have a good life and recover from what that asshole did to you.

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