Pain calms me down..iin

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7 Comments

I find that pain is the only way to calm myself down, i dont cut(used 2), but when i get really stressed out, tense, frustrated, or plain pissed off, I find myself either pinching myself with my nails, or just digging my nails into my arm, leg, or other hand, or biting myself(not in public). Not enough to make myself bleed though.

I even feel stressed when theres nothing to even be stressed about, i just feel this rage and anger for some unknown reason. Sometimes i feel like im on the urge of hyperventilating.

I try listening to music, but that usually just makes me more tense.

I have the urge to cut again, i want to, i need to, but the only thing thats stopping me is the pity i get from people. Theres nowhere where i can cut where i can hide it, my parents will find out, i know they will.

I feel like im going psychotic...

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Please dont waste your comment by telling me im a loser emo/goth and rant on how bad it is to self-harm, and PLEASE dont feel pathetic for me, i loathe when people feel pathetic for me, it just makes me feel worse.

And dont tell me i should see a psychiatrist, i already do,for anxiety, i tell them nothing because they cant help me anyway, and would never understand, and would just feel pathetic for me too.

Friends? Talking about it to people? Dont even go there.

Nor tell me that "god loves you" crap, IM ATHEIST!

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65% Normal
Based on 74 votes (48 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • bluebellraze
    14 years ago

    Hi,

    Pain also calms me down - at least, the self inflicted sort. Psychologically, at least for me, it's the same reason why Jesuits castigate themselves with whips ... to punish for what they perceive as guilt.

    Physically, pain becomes addictive because it releases endorphins - which make you feel good.

    I would get help, and try to learn to love yourself. I know that's a frustrating cliche, I haven't yet learned to do it myself. Unfortunately, it's really the only answer.

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  • frankiestrange
    12 years ago

    I use candle wax mainly. Pain calms me too. :)

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  • jamesmitchell29486
    13 years ago

    Try rubber bands on your wrist popping them really hurts or stretching really far to the point of pain or try lifting free weights if you doo it too hard the tendons in your elbow cap will hurt plus you have the added bonus of getting stronger.

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  • FreakyKing2
    13 years ago

    If I started cutting myself that is the point for me which I would start using marijuana. Some would say you should never resort to drugs but constant stress can cause severe mental illness. Marijuana can and will relieve this stress and restore a balanced state for your mind. It worked for me when I was 16 and living with sociopathic mother.

    All you have to do is choose whether to be a schizophrenic mess or a lazy stoner. I know neither sound appealing but I'd rather be the stoner.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Try cutting your side or your thigh. But not too deep.

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  • Normallyabnormal
    13 years ago

    I have gone through the same thing. I felt like I was going to explode until I saw blood or could make myself hurt so bad physically that it blocked out the emotions. The only way I could get myself to stop was to look at my scars and remind myself that I didn't want another one. I also began taking xanex on an as needed basis. It makes me feel numb when I get hysterical. You may want to talk to your dr about that. Good luck it's a very hard problem to deal with especially when people think you're just being dramatic or emo.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    there's not much i can tell you that you don't already know.

    the pain thing is normal, especially under exremem stress. though, it is a sort of self medicating thing, so you do have to be careful, which you seem to be.

    your psych. doc can't help you if you don't use the process in the way that is intended though. the whole process is long and slow. if you give it a chance, you might realize, that in the end, the doctor doesn't tell you what's wrong, you tell the doctor. it's sort of a discovery thing. you might find it does work. if you don't want pity from your doctor, just make sure to tell them that before you open up to them. they are trained not to feel for their patients anyway, because the burden of everyone's problems would be too hard on them, so i don't think you have to worry about that part of it.

    if nothing else is working, why not give it a try?

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