Overreacting in relationships

6 Comments

I am 27 year old with a traumatic past (got divorced once as the guy had mental issues and got cheated on by a very serious boyfriend of four years. My past has had an effect on me mentally, I can say that for sure. But I thought with time and I will fall in love again.

One of my cousins friend who knows everything about my past came into my life an year ago and was very persistent about dating me and he said he loved many things about me etc.. I didn't like this guy at first as he was all into girls (as in platonic flirting not really sleeping with everyone or at least I don't know that part) but when he realized I have trust issues he started maintaining distance from girls and doesn't stare at them like he used to before. Finally when I saw that he changed I decided to be in exclusive with him and so did he.

I like him and care about him but cant trust him at all. He lives away from me, has a good job but he visits me most weekends and stays in touch regularly. But I just cant trust him because I am scared and also partly because of the person he was when he met me. I pick fights quickly and find reasons to run away. i DO have affection for him and want to be happy with him but I am just not able to. I feel like it might be me and I need to work on myself. Sometimes I think may be he isnt the guy for me. He however thinks I am the girl for him and is patient and doesnt talk about leaving me no matter how much I get angry or scream.

What do you think??

guy correct for me 2
I need to work on myself 8
Guy not correct for me 3
I am not correct for the guy 1
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Comments ( 6 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I think you need to make a decision. You can either live a screwed up life because of your past or live a great life in spite of your past.
    Good luck.

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  • dytrog
    8 years ago

    Most married men cheat. A lot of married women cheat.
    Life and love is a gamble. We all live knowing that.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    You're running the risk of losing something good if you don't get over the past and move on. You can't help how you feel right now (although you could change that if you wanted to) but you CAN choose whether or not you act on those fears and scream at him for nothing. Would you hang around longterm to be subjected to that?

    Even repeating to yourself, out loud if necessary, "That was then, this is now" would be a start to living in the present emotionally.

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    • rsp
      8 years ago

      Thanks, Ellenna for your thoughts, really appreciate it.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        You're welcome and good luck

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    • HellKnight6
      8 years ago

      this op has been targeted for 404 termination

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