Other woman syndrome

66% Normal
7 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now. I've completely fallen in love with this man. But there's a problem. He is technically still married to his crazy ex. They've been separated since way before I met him, and they have virtually no contact now...but it still complicates things. Because of his career, he can't tell people about our relationship until after his divorce is final. This won't happen until May. I feel like the other woman. The circumstances around the impending divorce cannot change, and I know that.

Can't help feeling like the wait may be too long, though. I feel like I'm a teenager sneaking around, but not in the fun way. Is it normal? What can I do?!

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 41 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I see the last post was a year and a half ago. So he must be all divorced and you're having a great relationship now?

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  • Guess_Who
    13 years ago

    Well...

    You said that you have 'completely fallen in love with this man,' which really means 'period,' or 'the end' of the conversation. However, if you are willing to believe and act upon the situation, I think it is only fair to have a litle break with him until he gets the 'divorce matter' absolutely done. And maybe while you're free of him, you can ponder and consider the fact that there IS something shady about him, and about your undying love for him, if it is truly worth the go...

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  • sweettearsfall88
    14 years ago

    i was in the same position with my current boyfriend of 9 months. he is currently officially divorced. we had the whole "cant tell cause of our jobs" thing too. but in the end of every conversation i felt his sincere love for me so i stayed and sure enough now hes divorced and we are talkin about a family of our own. if you feel in your heart hes honest then stay, but if you have an overwhelming amout of doubt id roll with my instincts. they are usually right believe it or not.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    And yeah, something's fishy about this guy.....

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Um, it would be normal for everyone in your situation to feel that way.

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  • one_green
    14 years ago

    I worry when I see words like "technically" and "virtually" in what you wrote. And I also worry that you felt the need to write something here about your situation at all. Are you feeling guilty about this? Are you feeling as though something isn't quite right? You know the old adage "When something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't." I think you need to take a long look inside your heart. Does it feel right to stay with this man....to wait for his divorce? Or does it not feel quite right to you? You be the judge. Good luck.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    "Can't tell people..." sounds lame and no wonder you feel as you do. Ditch him. He's using you.

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