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Assuming that the date is just a coffee, what is the etiquette? Who should pay?
What are your thoughts if a female pays? How should she go about approaching this if she really wants to pay?
| Man | 21 | |
| Woman | 3 | |
| Whoever organised the date | 39 |
Why not just split the bill? Even if it's a small bill, splitting it avoids game-playing, and game-playing makes everyone feel insecure.
The one who brags the most about being so strong and independent should pay.
What's online got to do with it? I thought you were going to some cyber café for a gigabyte to eat. Megabyte if you're a porker.
Eh ... How about everyone pays for what they order? Why does one have to pay for both?
Sure, it's nice if someone pays for my shit but it's certainly not something that I'd expect and certainly not on first date with someone.
I would NOT pay for someone else.
I'm old fashioned in this one. The guy pays, especially if he asked the girl out, no if, ands or buts. If some gal wants to make an issue about it (especially a coffee tab) then chances are there won't be a second date.
I fancy myself a gentleman when it comes to being with a woman, and if the woman can't appreciate that, then we probably aren't compatible anyway.
I like myself a gentlewoman. A chivalrous female offering to pay for a night out with you should be accepted as she is trying to court you and take the relationship further.
p.s.: If you don't see the scorn, it's not my fault.
I think first date you both pay your own way. If the date is successful and is building towards something, a chivalrous male offer to "take you out" (ie. pay for a night out with you) should be accepted as he is trying to court you and take the relationship further.
As a rule of thumb, online or offline, you pay for yourself.
That way there's no expectation, no sense that either party 'owes' something.
However, if someone insists on paying, then fair enough; accept the gesture gracefully.
If you really want to pay for them, you just say before or at the start of the date, "I'd like to pay for this one. If we see each other again, you can always return the favour." Or something similar. Don't make a big deal out of it, because it isn't a big deal. In this case, it's just a coffee.
I always feel that the who invites should pay. I also feel women should invite more often, instead of waiting to be asked.
A coffee bill is clearly important to you or you wouldn't have made a post online about it. I'm just responding to your over-thinking (and from my perspective, it does look like if you're over-thinking it).
Splitting is the most natural thing to do. It doesn't send any messages which might make either one of you feel uncomfortable.
Whoever organized the date duh. If a chick asks another chick/dude out on a date she should pay. If a guy asks another dude/chick out on a date he should pay. It makes no sense to say that one side should always pay if at that point that gender was the one who actually organized it.
However, i recommend posing it as a question, "i got this, unless you want to split it" dont assume too much. It may offend someone