Omg single mother of three part deux

the kids love him and the oldest especially when asked wants to live with his daddy. i plan fun things [example christmas sugar cookie party, movie nights, tie dye tshirts] he rarely gets involved and he loves them but i think is unaware of how hes acting he considers being on the same acre of land spending time together. he in turn loves me and our daughter very much and our little family does fun things and interacts very well even if its just sharing our day at the dinner table. i know he loves them and they love him but i wonder now that circimstances have changed if maybe he is so "unresponsive" for lack of a better word,is because the first marriage was so miserable and he didnt bond with them hardly at all in their first years of life? now that he has custody and his mother is raising them she must call him for approval on everything from field trips to when they can see their mother. he isnt having to drive them or look after them so it seems his mother should have that desicion to herself right? idk i have no one to talk to on this matter and its nice to get some feedback and straighten it out in myown mind

I feel sorry for you and the kids. What is wrong with your husband that he doesn't want to be involved with his own children? I don't understand... How do the kids react to him? They must be very confused. If your husband seriously doesn't want anything to do with them, it's best to not even have them be subjected to his lack of parental guidance. What kind of a message does this send to the children? They must feel unloved when they are with him. Why prolong the torture... I would talk to him about giving up custody if that is what he wants. Ask him. See what he says. He has to "pay" to raise them until they are 18, and if he doesn't want them around and isn't interested in raising them himself, he should give up custody. Then he won't have to pay child support. When they turn 18, they can decide if they want to have a relationship with him or not. I find this very sad, very very sad. Not just for the children but for the man who helped bring these people into the world. So many men and women want children but can't have them, and then people like him who do have them and don't care... Well they don't deserve to have them. He needs to give them up. I apologize if this sounds harsh, but his behavior is beyond comprehension. He needs to make a decision and quickly. Those kids probably already hate him... Why continue to force them to be with someone who doesn't care about them. They need love. They need a positive living environment. What is he teaching them by doing what he is doing. Think about the kids, and their future. Think about their psyche, and how they will interact with other adult role models based on their patents behavior. HE is creating monsters. HE needs to know that what he is doing is damaging his children. I hope you can find a way to help this man realize what he has done, and what he needs to do in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN!

It sounds like he hates them because they remind him of his ex & there marriage. Why doesn't the chilren live with there mother? It is not his mothers job 2 raise them. Does him & his ex communicate about the kids? The kids will grow up and not know how 2 express emotions. They probably already feel insecure. They will not have any trust in people. All adults need 2 put the feelings aside and work 2gether 2 raise the kids. U need 2 step up and get the ball rollin. U know that this situation is screwed up or u wouldn't be reaching out 4 advice.

When one begins rationalizing bad causes, the effects will remain unaltered.

Those poor kids. I wouldn't go as far as asking him THAT, but I would urge him to do things with the kids. Maybe plan stuff for when they come.

Poor kids. :(

I would resent the situation too.