Obsession

Hey I'm new to this so I have been feeling bummed out for a long time now. I used to go to work very happy, excited and willing to make people laugh and tell stupid jokes. But it all started to go downhill when ,for some reason I couldn't talk to this specific woman, she used to be a co worker. I think she is the prettiest girl I have met and would have done anything for some type of friendship with her. But i guess it wasnt meant to be.

I love reading books and researched some time ago that writing about your problems helps with the situation. So I found a platform which is Craigslist, and me being an idiot wrote about my situation on that public forum. Under missed connections and more recently strictly platonic. And I found out that my coworkers somehow found out that i write stuff on that platform. They probably think I'm insane , but I pay them no mind. I have been through a lot in my life to let them bring me down. So now instead of me being joyfull at work and happy to tell jokes, i just go upstairs and only come down to finish work. No more socializing for me.

I have never been a social type and usually stick to myself even though my brother always told me to be more out going. I found out that I enjoy reading books , and like researching subjects intensly. I wish i was like this when i was younger and still in school. Maybe i could have ended up with a better education. So here I am no longer posting on CL for fear of what others think that are my working peers. It's like they took my last outlet in life and twisted it to a weapon against me. So i guess this will be my new platform. So to sum it up , I still like my coworker even though i have seen her like twice a year ( I know im a weirdo) and given up on having any type of social interaction with the outside world.